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Universal truths - 8/20/2017 7:51:51 AM   
jlf1961


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Okay people, I dare you to add yours!

1) Coffee is necessary for human life, if I do not get at least 4 cups in the first hour after waking up, all life on the planet is in danger of extermination.

2) Camouflage IS a decorating statement.

3) Pink has not place on a pickup

4) Pittsburgh does not have an NFL franchise, they have a amateur team with delusions of grandeur.

5) Bacon improves everything edible.

6) If you really need a warning label to tell you not to use a blow dryer in the shower, you do not need to contribute to the gene pool.

7) If my dogs make you nervous, feel free NOT to visit.

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Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

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RE: Universal truths - 8/20/2017 9:43:17 AM   
WhoreMods


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3 is dead right: pink belongs on 70s muscle cars and tractors, not pick ups.


Not sure about 5 though: while I have a great admiration for bacon, I don't want it as a cocktail garnish, in beer, or added to cake.

Heckling is not a contribution, though, so:
8) People who complain that songs involving electronic gimmickery, autotunes, drum machines and synthesisers aren't real music should watch some twat with an acoustic guitar and a voice like a cast member from Glee* murdering an old soul number or folk song on "Britain Might Have Talent But None of These Attention Seeking Cunts Do", and then shut the fuck up about that notion for good.
9) Residents of a nation with a law about cruel and unusual punishments should not legally be entitled to brew (never mind export) swill like Coors Lite or Budweiser.
10) A lot of beer is actually more complex in terms of its taste than most wines, even the reds with one hell of a nose on them. (The aforementioned horsepiss is not beer by any reasonable standard, so I'm not talking about the swill. A decent lager, on the other hand, is a thing of beauty.)

*(or Justin fucking Beiber)

< Message edited by WhoreMods -- 8/20/2017 10:14:54 AM >


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RE: Universal truths - 8/20/2017 9:43:28 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


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1) Tea is necessary for human life.
2) Camouflage IS a decorating statement, especially pink camouflage.
3) Every truck needs a a proper bit of pink, AND a The Walking Dead sticker.
4) The only professional team I know of are the Saints....and MAYBE The Dallas Cowboys
5) Bacon ('nuff said)
6) Warning labels?
7 Love me, Love my dog(s).

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RE: Universal truths - 8/20/2017 9:47:50 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


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8) Pink tractors are sexy

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RE: Universal truths - 8/20/2017 10:26:02 AM   
WhoreMods


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quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
7 Love me, Love my dog(s).

I ain't loving your dog. Your dog is already full of love. Your dog pulls the train for Police dogs, sniffer dogs, guide dogs (whose owners can't see what's going on), even those bloody rescue dogs they send up mountains with a miniature brandy barrel round their necks.
Your dog's a slut. Sorry.

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RE: Universal truths - 8/20/2017 11:05:32 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


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quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods


quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
7 Love me, Love my dog(s).

I ain't loving your dog. Your dog is already full of love. Your dog pulls the train for Police dogs, sniffer dogs, guide dogs (whose owners can't see what's going on), even those bloody rescue dogs they send up mountains with a miniature brandy barrel round their necks.
Your dog's a slut. Sorry.


Lol

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RE: Universal truths - 10/24/2017 3:40:20 PM   
AtUrCervix


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quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

Okay people, I dare you to add yours!

1) Coffee is necessary for human life, if I do not get at least 4 cups in the first hour after waking up, all life on the planet is in danger of extermination.

2) Camouflage IS a decorating statement.

3) Pink has not place on a pickup

4) Pittsburgh does not have an NFL franchise, they have a amateur team with delusions of grandeur.

5) Bacon improves everything edible.

6) If you really need a warning label to tell you not to use a blow dryer in the shower, you do not need to contribute to the gene pool.

7) If my dogs make you nervous, feel free NOT to visit.


(Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand............AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)


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RE: Universal truths - 10/26/2017 4:36:31 AM   
Hillwilliam


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If My dog doesn't like you, I probably shouldn't either.

Mark Twain

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Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

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RE: Universal truths - 10/26/2017 11:27:26 AM   
peppermint


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quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961



2) Camouflage IS a decorating statement.

3) Pink has not place on a pickup





I'm confused, Jeff. Would my pink camouflage rifle be allowed in the pickup or not? It's the only rifle I've ever seen where the word "cute" applies.

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

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RE: Universal truths - 10/26/2017 4:14:59 PM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
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quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint


quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961



2) Camouflage IS a decorating statement.

3) Pink has not place on a pickup





I'm confused, Jeff. Would my pink camouflage rifle be allowed in the pickup or not? It's the only rifle I've ever seen where the word "cute" applies.



Cute applies to puppies, toddlers, babies, but NOT fire arms, unless in the sarcastic sense.

A few more universal truths to add:

The following cities do not have professional NFL teams:
Dallas and Pittsburgh


It is a universal truth that if a woman says, "Go ahead" after an argument, she is not giving permission, it is a dare, and under NO circumstance should the man even consider doing whatever it is she just told him to do.

There is one creature in creation that will remember everything that a person does that was questionable or down right wrong.
The female human.

A woman will remember every little, tiny, seemingly insignificant past indiscretion with the clarity of fact that beats even the most advanced computer system.

It is also unfortunate that the human male is undoubtedly the smarter of the two sexes.

Seriously, it takes an immense intellect to appear so stupid at any time that it would be the most inconvenient to a woman. This is a natural defense against being asked to do menial chores during such things of great importance such as a football game, the world series, or anything else the male would prefer to be doing instead of whatever it is she wants him to do.

The logic of a five year old is the most sound of any human, so be very careful when telling a child a reason why something cannot be done, or what needs to be done. I saw this this morning when my great nephew decided that he was not keen on the idea of going to school.

My sister told him to put on his shoes and socks (after she lectured him on doing things in the order he is told to last night) so, with the evil grin that only a five year old can manage, he put on his shoes and socks, in that order.

Now, while I thought this was hilarious in the art of passive protest, my sister failed to see the humor in his act.

I must also give the boy credit, since it was clear his personal socks would not fit over his shoes, he borrowed a pair of mine, after explaining "Nanny told me to put on shoes and socks."

Needless to say, I was in as much trouble as the munchmonster, for giving him a pair of my socks and laughing so hard at the look on my sister's face.


< Message edited by jlf1961 -- 10/26/2017 4:20:11 PM >


_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

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RE: Universal truths - 10/26/2017 8:02:37 PM   
peppermint


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You still didn't answer my first question. Does a pink camouflage rifle belong in the gun rack of a pickup truck? By the way, I was born and raised in Pittsburgh. GO STEELERS!!!!!

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to jlf1961)
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RE: Universal truths - 11/5/2017 12:33:10 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
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1) Coffee is necessary for all life. Even my dog drinks a little coffee in the morning.

2) Camouflage is a decorating statement.

3) Pink has no place on a pickup except riding in the passenger seat.

4) Do not watch the NFL, boycott those whiny, overpaid, disrespectful brats. When I watch sports, it's not for the political opinions of pussies. Watch hockey or soccer instead.

5) Bacon does improves everything. What do they do to improve the finest filet mignon? They wrap it in bacon. Case closed.

6) If you really need a warning label to tell you anything, you aren't smart enough to vote. Please don't.

7) If my dog doesn't like you, you should be nervous. We trust our dog's judgement of character.

8) It's a whip my dear, it's supposed to hurt.

9) Don't take a city girl camping. You'll regret it.

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I give good thread.


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RE: Universal truths - 11/8/2017 9:10:25 AM   
LadyPact


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
1) Coffee is necessary for all life. Even my dog drinks a little coffee in the morning.

The proper word you are looking for is caffeine. Diet Pepsi is a perfectly acceptable form of this.

quote:

2) Camouflage is a decorating statement.

If you live in a tank, I agree with you.

quote:

3) Pink has no place on a pickup except riding in the passenger seat.

I'll remember this the next time I'm driving the truck.

quote:

4) Do not watch the NFL, boycott those whiny, overpaid, disrespectful brats. When I watch sports, it's not for the political opinions of pussies. Watch hockey or soccer instead.

Or, stop supporting teams that have people up on charges for sexual assault, hitting women in elevators, and the like. Same result.

quote:

5) Bacon does improves everything. What do they do to improve the finest filet mignon? They wrap it in bacon. Case closed.

I'll give this one freely. When they started doing the 'bacon added to ice cream sundaes,' I was a bit skeptical but people seem to like it.

quote:

6) If you really need a warning label to tell you anything, you aren't smart enough to vote. Please don't.

There's a difference between a warning label and 'too stupid to live' label. My favorite of the latter is "do not attempt to iron clothes while wearing." Who the heck does that?

quote:

7) If my dog doesn't like you, you should be nervous. We trust our dog's judgement of character.

Same here. Though I will admit the only four-legged anything that ever attacked somebody under my roof was a cat. It was funny as hell. Cat leaped through the air. (I should have listened to the cat.)

quote:

8) It's a whip my dear, it's supposed to hurt.

Completely agreed!

quote:

9) Don't take a city girl camping. You'll regret it.

Not always. Some of us city gals started out as country gals. We just bring more luggage these days.


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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Universal truths - 11/11/2017 7:43:29 AM   
ResidentSadist


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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
Camouflage is a decorating statement.

If you live in a tank, I agree with you.




_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.


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