RE: Collared slave that owns a sub.

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Collared slave that owns a sub.

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> RE: Collared slave that owns a sub.

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Collared slave that owns a sub. - 8/27/2006 5:46:19 PM

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

As a Slave, remember that your subs are really his subs. You have no subs.

And having to have your Dom's permission to Domme another.. isn't really domination.. it's aquiesing to your master. If your sub wants a Domme.. can he/she really believe he/she has the "real thing"?

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

RE: Collared slave that owns a sub. - 9/4/2006 12:33:11 AM

Posts: 37
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: Missoula, MT
Status: offline

Interesting what a wide range of views there are on this.
I have recently permitted my sub(who is clearly a switch) to take on a sub of her own,
and so far it is working out decently for all 3 of us. Basicly I haven't compromised, if I
feel that my sub needs a spanking, the fact that she has her sub kneeling at her feet at
the time won't slow me down any from ordering her to bend over. I don't expect that this
would work with most people, but her sub seems to be very happy at the bottom of the
pecking order. Some of her sub's favorite scenes have actually resulted from this sort of
stuff, like having her sub stroke her back after she got a flogging, or resting her head in her
sub's lap while I gave her a spanking.
I have noticed that watching my sub being Dom puts me in a mood to be extra dominant toward
her, but this works out fine since she tends to be wanting extra dominance after she has done a
scene as a Dom.

Watching to see what other interesting setups people here have,
MtGames

(in reply to LotusSong)

RE: Collared slave that owns a sub. - 9/4/2006 9:02:48 AM

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

It's definitely not my thing for sure!

There was a Dom the unwittingly interruped the ending of some aftercare after a session between my Slave and I.. My slave was going to return to the club and col-cock the sucker.

I took care of the matter myself.

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 9/4/2006 9:09:32 AM >

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to MtGames)

RE: Collared slave that owns a sub. - 9/4/2006 12:33:20 PM

Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline

This is also a difficulty for me. I find myself in the situation of being a tad more submissive than domme and when we scene with a slave (or sub) I end up feeling like an emotional sandwich. I am struggling with this because I have a strong personality, but love to be dominated. I make a great domme as long as I am not expected to sub at the same time... otherwise I get confuzzled in my emotions.

It's a work in progress, really... I find that I allow Sir to overall run the show, but he loves to see me act out the domination on the other girl (always a girl, *never* a guy) and I find that is working well for me. He allows me to guide the situation, but ultimately makes the final decisions on what I do (since a lot of our play is for *his* pleasure as well).

I would never be able to carry on a *relationship* in that dynamic, however. Just way too much emotional work for me.

Good luck to you.

_____________________________

afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

(in reply to Daddysmira)

RE: Collared slave that owns a sub. - 9/4/2006 12:35:29 PM

Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MtGames

Basicly I haven't compromised, if I feel that my sub needs a spanking, the fact that she has her sub kneeling at her feet at the time won't slow me down any from ordering her to bend over.

Sir is the same with me. In fact, our first playdate with the slave we enjoy entailed me being spanked for not showing the proper respect to him in her presence. You should have seen the look on her face! He hits me pretty hard, and I think she was worried that she would be next, however He never punishes her... that is left for me to do so that I can maintain the dominance necessary to make the play what we want it to be.

_____________________________

afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

(in reply to MtGames)

RE: Collared slave that owns a sub. - 9/16/2006 11:50:39 PM

Posts: 157
Joined: 3/6/2005
From: CA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW
You(r) sub will totally understand.

Presumably the sub went into this with open eyes, and would indeed understand. I myself wouldn't get into a relationship in the first place with a domme who was a slave to someone else....

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

RE: Collared slave that owns a sub. - 9/18/2006 5:43:12 PM

Posts: 193
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline

I am part of a household consisting of myself as the sub, a female switch and a male dom. Although jelousy can be a problem, we haven't had any problems knowing our places. One thing that might help is the dom allowing the switch to have sessions alone with the sub, but with him either in hearing distance or somewhere nearby just in case he's needed. This has worked out well for me, and it allows everyone to get there time with each other.

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

RE: Collared slave that owns a sub. - 9/19/2006 6:13:36 AM

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
And having to have your Dom's permission to Domme another.. isn't really domination.. it's aquiesing to your master. If your sub wants a Domme.. can he/she really believe he/she has the "real thing"?

I am a collared switch. My Owner knew I was a switch and that in time I would want another submissive or slave in my collar before he collared me. Did I ask his permission when I thought our relationship was solid enough? Most definately. Did we discuss it in great detail? Most definatly. Did we discuss and set up boundaries set up to protect our relationship as well as the relationship I would have with my submissive or slave? Most definately.

Does the fact that I asked the man who I submit to, to allow me to express my dominant side take away from my dominance? I don't think so and to insinuate that because a switch is collared is not "the real thing" when it comes to being a dom/me is ignorant and rather presumptious in my opinion.

These dynamics may not be for you, but that does not make them wrong or any less of a D/s relationship than what you and yours may have it simply makes it different.

< Message edited by Phoenixandnika -- 9/19/2006 6:15:13 AM >

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."

(in reply to LotusSong)

RE: Collared slave that owns a sub. - 9/27/2006 6:57:45 PM

Posts: 379
Joined: 12/12/2005
From: Central Texas / Hill Country
Status: offline

Wow, so many good answers and ideas already. I am collared to my Master/Daddy and have a new boy for myself. We also hope to have a girl soon! Makes me hum that old song .... "a boy for you a girl for me ..." anyway, the boy and I discussed how he would feel when I wait on my Master in front of him (the boy). He has no problem with it and in fact it so far seems to help him in his submission to me. The boy also serves Master if told something, he says Yes SIr and so on, and says he likes the idea of ultimately sreving us both. It was nice last weekend sitting on the couch leaning against my Master snuggling with Him, with my boy on the floor, his head on my leg with my hand on his head!I was one happy girl!

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

RE: Collared slave that owns a sub. - 10/7/2006 8:54:28 AM

Posts: 153
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

I have read this whole forum and have a question .....
I only see "scenes" mentioned. This lifestyle, if 24/7, means more than just "scenes." We don't "scene" 24/7.
How does the OP's situation fit life when NOT "scening?"

Edited to add....I will be contacting several of you off forum, if you dont mind.

< Message edited by amlonging -- 10/7/2006 9:02:20 AM >

(in reply to LotusSong)

RE: Collared slave that owns a sub. - 10/7/2006 9:20:07 AM

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline

Dear mira,

You ask:
>>>How do I keep up my Domme strength to my sub while showing my own sub side to my Master and not overstepping my boundaries?<<<

You do not think about it, thats how. You do not think for them, you do not confuse them. Most importantly you simply allow it to happen. You do not have to be scared of whats behind the door, cause its jus you.

love,
ElAmour

(in reply to Daddysmira)

RE: Collared slave that owns a sub. - 10/12/2006 3:40:59 PM

Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline

One person mentioned that you can't really have subs if you are collared and that they would really belong to your Master. I think that could be true, but isn't inherent. You can only have subs that your Master lets you have, but it would be possible to have subs that only responded to you and not to your Master, right? I think it all depends on the dynamic that those involved work out.

I find that I love switching. I am not in a 24/7 relationship, but do have a stable relationship with my Master and His lady. We usually play just together, but have had a few scenes with others. My only concern with the type of dynamic you are describing is that it could be confusing either for you or for your sub when the dynamic switched. For a personal example, although we discussed how things would go ahead of time, the only scene we've had that was rather unsuccessful involved me trying to switch in the midst of a scene. Master and I had been co-topping a friend of mine and eventually he told me he was ready to whip me. I was happy to follow his orders and happy to be tied to the St. Andrews Cross, but I couldn't get properly into sub space. We discovered that even though I am perfectly happy in Domme and sub roles, it wasn't ready to flow from one to the other, and that may not ever work for me, but we are willing to keep experimenting. I think the best thing is to keep an open mind and be honest with each other. Blessings on you explorations!

< Message edited by beltainefaerie -- 10/12/2006 3:52:23 PM >

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

RE: Collared slave that owns a sub. - 11/11/2006 4:57:47 AM

Posts: 378
Joined: 10/23/2006
Status: offline

Although, I don't yet have experience with this topic, I am interested in reading the different makeups of how each group makes this particular dynamic work. Thank you for starting this thread.

_____________________________

Leather Rubbin and Dubbin

Bootblack Blast
Mama's Blast

(in reply to beltainefaerie)

RE: Collared slave that owns a sub. - 11/11/2006 8:28:06 PM

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

PBS (pbs.org/manorhouse) did a series entitled Manor House which you might wish to look over. It was a study in the hierarchy of the Edwardian era and might give you some insights.

That was a great program!

(in reply to MistressMelissa)

RE: Collared slave that owns a sub. - 12/7/2006 8:05:24 AM

Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

You have a wise master. This one act will defuse a LOT of possible tensions and misunderstandings.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysmira

Master has requested that my male sub sleep at the foot of our bed on the floor when he stays overnight.

LaM ... right on point with this observation.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

RE: Collared slave that owns a sub. - 12/23/2006 8:33:27 PM

Posts: 5
Joined: 9/8/2006
Status: offline

wow am I glad this subject is being addressed...I'm soon to be put in the same situation.
and am going to pay very close attention to this thread...:)

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

RE: Collared slave that owns a sub. - 12/23/2006 9:30:53 PM

Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline

It's very important for a sub/slave to know where the orders are coming from. If the sub is yours, indeed, then your owner is probably best off being hands-off with the specifics, maybe you have ground rules -- but they're known and few and clear and there's a minimum of changing them around and interference.

If the sub is *his* and you are managing him, he (sub)deserves and probably needs to be cognizant of what's desired and have full understanding of this. It's a little like going to work and having a manager to report to, but knowing where your paycheck is ultimately signed is only fair, yes?

This is my take on it, anyway...

(in reply to MissSadist19)

RE: Collared slave that owns a sub. - 12/24/2006 5:47:13 AM

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

OK I have tried this and firmly believe it would work as long as My sub was actually a sub (not a fetishist hubby who couldn't actually submit). The 3 of U/us lived together 24/7 for 2 years in this attempted arrangement, so it certainly wasn't just play or scenes. In terms of daily life, it was My responsibility to set out what I wanted My sub to do, and Master did not interfere openly, though He and I had plenty of discussions to keep things on track. In play, Master allowed Me to run play scenes, trusting in My competence, and always allowed Me time to provide aftercare and move out of Domme space before having me play submissively with Him. Though that situation didn't work out, We learned a lot and have a much better idea of how to proceed in the future. Part of the problem was undoubtedly that Master was the One coming into an existing household. I think it would be easier to bring in the bottom rung than the top! I will be looking for a sub once We are settled in Our new town and Master and I know that, for one to become 24/7 with Us, We would expect him to:
1. Be happy to call Master by some suitable title (Master hates Sir so that won't work!) and respect Him as Head of the Household. (That didn't happen with hubby and We'd underestimated how important that would be).
2. Be content with knowing that My place is in Master's bed, and that as for Us, 3 in a bed won't work and the floor might be a bit hard, he will have his own bed and not spend a full night with Me. However, his sexual needs will be met (as I have voracious ones LOL!), though how much and how often is under Master's ultimate control (but He is a generous Man!). (I wasn't happy with the some nights with Him, some with him arrangement We tried this time).
3. Be happy to serve Master in an everyday capacity (assist with meals, drinks etc) as I direct (with My knowing that Master will not allow me to offload all my duties!). (That worked).
4. Be understanding that my service to Master does not in any way diminish My capacity to Domme him (in fact, I would say it enhances it). I would expect him to observe my submission and service as a model ... I will not be asking of him what i do not do myself. (Hubby proved unable to learn by instruction or by example).
5. Be able to accept that the Me who loves him and cherishes his service to Me, is almost a different person from the me who loves Master and adores serving Him, so that there is no need to compete for My affections. And also he needs to trust that Master will ensure that he and I have sufficient time together to maintain the relationship as the success of that is important to Master also as He recognises My need to be Dominant as well as sub. (Hubby couldn't trust Me let alone Master on this one).

Now We know that arrangement would not suit all ... there are obviously subs who feel they couldn't cope with a Domme who also subs. Yet others I have just played with actually found new-found respect for Me when they saw Me sub in play to Master. Like someone else mentioned, Master hits rather hard, and i can take a lot ... they were awestruck LOL! And hoping I couldn't hit as hard and wouldn't let Master near the paddle! I believe that could carry over to everyday submission in a sub with an appropriate mindset. Now I just needs to find him!

Good luck to the OP and to the others who are in similar situations!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to Grlwithboy)

RE: Collared slave that owns a sub. - 12/24/2006 7:46:00 AM

Posts: 68
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline

I have recently started switching....My Dom has allowed and encouraged it. I have recently taken on a sub of my own.
Always sub to my Dom, I am always Domme to my own sub.
I keep the 2 sides separate....never switching during scenes.
When we all get together, my sub will see my Dom and I as equals.
He never sees my sub personna.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elamour

Dear mira,

You ask:
>>>How do I keep up my Domme strength to my sub while showing my own sub side to my Master and not overstepping my boundaries?<<<

You do not think about it, thats how. You do not think for them, you do not confuse them. Most importantly you simply allow it to happen. You do not have to be scared of whats behind the door, cause its jus you.

love,
ElAmour

_____________________________

'Dont stop honking.......I'm just re loading'

(in reply to Elamour)

RE: Collared slave that owns a sub. - 12/26/2006 10:49:33 AM

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

So did you bother to ask the malesub if he agrees to this? Personally if I subbed to a switch I wouldn't want to be forced into the position of being his Mistress's sub as well and being told to sleep at the foot of her bed would be that. If I agreed to sub to you, I don't mean you and the whole University of Nebraska football team. I would just mean you.

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> RE: Collared slave that owns a sub.

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.148