Taramafor
Posts: 39
Joined: 12/22/2016
From: UK, Manchester
Status: offline
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It's pretty simple really. If you "pretend" to be doing things then that's a fantasy. No one's disputing that.
If on the other hand there is an owner that has real feelings and you do things with each other that are never an illusion it is NOT a fantasy. I don't "pretend" to be a sub and I don't "pretend" to be intimate with a dom when I'm also being put in line and forced to do things when being called something "insulting" which is actually a compliment and affectionate because of the context. Example: "Useless". Kinda grows on you. Useless yet kept around anyway, you know. Depends on how it is said too.
Example A: Distant company that dresses up in a latex outfit to "Acts like a dom". That's pretend. That's "fantasy". If you're doing "a scene".
Example B: Well known and trusted company that slowly runs a knife along your chest, gives the leash a hard yank as they pull you into their chest while stroking your cheek and warning you to be good or they'll stick the knife in you. That's actually real, not a fantasy. Been there. Done it. Note: I'm a mental masochist into fearplay.
The reason for this thread is a simple one. The context of something depends entirely on who you ask. A "slave" is not a fantasy. Not if you change the context of what it means legally and apply your own BDSM (or other, even) context to it. It's like that "insult" that isn't an insult that I stated earlier. There's a slave and then there's a slave. In this case my context is "A slave not choosing their chains" with the former, and a slave choosing who they're chained too with the later. Even being in a "forced" relationship (Where you're made to do things) can be something you know you're getting into and agreed upon. If an owner cares they don't make you do things if it makes you sad (punishments and mindfucking aside). It's that simple. Anyone that says that's a fantasy can only be jealous when I know full well there's plenty of people that live like that. Some call themselves subs, others pets, others slaves. Some might not even use any labels at all all even use all of them at once (if at different times). Again, context. Even the lack of a label altogether has context (Note: Your context will be different from others).
I can't believe I'm actually having to point this out. But the last time I was on this site someone had the nerve to call me a "fantasy" acting as if the "legal definition" was "the answer" for everyone. It's not. You may as well say "Relationship label here" means the same to everyone. That's not how it works. Everyone has their own way of going about things. And everyone applies their own context to what and who they are. Maybe your context is a fantasy but mine is very much a reality. Sub is real. Slave is real. Pet is real. It's real because of what it means when said by X person here. The context behind the words.
Example A: You're useless, spoken in a spiteful, venomous tones.
Example B: Hush now useless, your owner will look after you while you're blindfolded and cuffed.
Even if example B happens on a temporary bases, it's still happening and therefor real. Though perhaps the fantasy here could be "I want someone to be around all the time to do that". But again, if someone is already there all the time doing that it is again in no way a fantasy, since someone would be there and doing that.
What's more A can look like B yet actually be B if someone knows the owner well enough to trust that "angry and spiteful" is "Affectionate and loving" with them. Outsiders may simply not be aware of this due to not knowing about them.
Long story short: People on this site assumed stupid shit. That should know better then to assume stupid shit. Hence this thread. Don't like it? Blame the people assuming stupid shit. I'm going to toss reminders if people assume stupid shit. It is a BDSM site after all.
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Context matters. - 
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