From: Newcastle, Australia
as love many times gets in the way of M/s activities.........expect to evolve to vanilla
"evolve to vanilla"?
I'd think any M/s relationship that includes love in the dynamic (ie, what I think the OP is asking) is going to have a strong vanilla aspect in the day to day. eg, kids, job(s), interacting with non-lifestyle friends, neighbours, rellies etc or just getting the chores done.
Just as vanilla relationships aren't all about sex, neither is such an M/s relationship all about rules, play and protocols. You not only have both (vanilla & M/s), I've found it a healthier way to be. Little time-outs, if you will.... Takes but a look for me or from me to get back into mode and I really enjoy those little moments to do just that when surrounded by vanilla company who haven't got a clue what just happened right in front of them. Our little, very public secret.
For that matter, I'd reckon a conservative 2 out 3 vanilla relationships have at least a D/s aspect to them that is not recognised or certainly not formally defined to them. It often comes out when some whiney brat wants something and one of the parents inevitably and habitually defers to the other. "Ask your mother/father" is a typical response. Heard my old man say it often enough, and he died when I was 12....
I don't find "vanilla" to be some sort of dirty word in M/s. It gives you grounding and perspective in the everyday and all manner of opportunities to ramp up the M/s as needed or desired. It enhances the relationship rather than "devolve" it....
Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>
Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)