quote:Surely you must realize that, even if there is no "sure way", a 99% sure way is better than 10% sure way and that using five or six 10% ways is better than using one 20% way or just using all the ways you can no matter how sure they are.
Regarding the risk of predators. There are no sure fire ways of protecting oneself from predators. You can follow all of the BDSM rules of engagement and still find yourself in harms way.
Predators ,are predators because consent means nothing to them or because violating consent is their purpose.
If this isn't obvious, and rationalization comes into play in any way - consider that you might be a predator.
If yes, then go straight to a precinct and have yourself arrested or committed.
If no, then consider seeing someone who can teach you social cues so that you don't inadvertently violate consent.
Otherwise this is probably a no brainer.
I agree, there is no sure fire ways of protecting oneself from predators but as I keep telling you there are a lot of better ways of reducing the chances of it than "depending" on Yes means yes and no, no.
What better ways? If there is no sure way?
quote:Yep, pretty sure that's what I've been saying.
Shit happens. Predators exist.
quote:Yep but honestly, all life comes with risk and you don't have to venture beyond the fringes of "societal norms" to find it.
Risk Aware means one proceeds with the understanding that venturing beyond the fringes of "societal norms" comes with risk.
quote:I don't believe that I have ever spoken out against using multiple ways of minimizing risk. What I have been speaking out against is this seemingly ubiquitous idea that "yes means yes and no means no" is all you need to protect yourself. It just isn't.
Communication, Consent (defining the yes and no parameters,) Safe-Calls and other basic protocols are designed to minimize the risk with the knowledge that it cannot mitigate all risk.
quote:Sounds like a good idea to me.
I proceed by NOT playing games, my yes means yes and my no means just that.
quote:I don't believe that I have disagreed with this either but I have pointed out that there is subset of people who not only don't want their no to mean no but don't even want the option of no and what I have said is these people should taken into consideration when forcing "yes means yes and no, no" on others.
Now, that said, I know people play games. I understand that courtship can be a dance of sorts and the hunt and Chase has a bit of blurred boundaries. Body language, inflection, eye contact can all have a voice in the overall courtship ritual and are a form of communication; BUT, IF someone you are interested in communicates NO, well? No means no. This is as much to protect the one pursuing as it is to protect the pursued.
(I also realize that there is a subset of people that do not want to accept no from others and that most are directing their "yes means yes and no, no" posts at these people but those poeple are generally so dense that such posts are wasted on them, which is why have continually suggested using other methods in dealing with them. Also, I'm not talking about them when I mention "No means no". )
quote:Thanx, well stated.
ETA These are my views and how I perceive things; intended for discussion purposes. Take what you can use, leave the rest.