raiken
Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Trust me, blow jobs was NOT the reason he went after fresh meat. Thanks again LA, and i know (upon hindsight) that he just grew tired of the relationship and was trying to find things as an excuse to leave, he really just wanted a young thang, 15 years younger than i, with no responsibilities, like finances and kids, etc., and being a parent, and we were both the same age. He just couldn't handle being the leader anymore, he has a low stress tolerance level, and was not really cut out for parenting. However at the time, i took it very personal, and did not have that hindsight. Now the slave he is with is very young, and has no kids or other responsibilities so he gets her entire focus. That is his perrogative and that part i have no issue with, it is simply the mechanisms he used to hurt me, instead of just saying the truth, where i take issue. Some people just don't realize the lasting effects their words can have. AND, because i did/do wrestle with issues of inadequacy with the physical limitations since my accident and he knew how i felt, it just made it feel all the more painful and mean. It really cut. But i deal, it just gets to me every once in a while, like at present, this is one area i probably will always be a bit more sensitive about, for it cut so deep, and there is that undeniable truth to it in the physical sense that is a constant reminder. Recently, there were actually two doms on cm, who gave me the cold shoulder after i shared my physical limitations with them, UPON THEIR ASKING, which i thought sucked, but i deal. It was like "how are you at sucking cock?" and i said, i am average, but not great because i have some jaw problems, and i got a sorry but no thanks from one, and another one said that i should put that info in my profile so i don't waste others time! Well, i don't take too many things of this nature to heart, but we all have our moments, and for some reason i was extra sensitve when i received these two notes. But i am strong, and have learned to cope with insults, and writing it here is theraputical for me in a sense. Thanks for reading. At any rate, i have always sought out someone who was more in the mind/heart, with the physical simply being the icing on the cake anyway. ~raiken
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