RE: Needing help..close to leaving the lifestyle..

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RE: Needing help..close to leaving the lifestyle.. - 8/21/2006 3:19:58 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

ok here i go with my non-conventional advice.

we all attract things into our lives based on what we are needing to work on....if you are seeing a lot of the same thing showing up time and again in your life it is actually trying to tell you something.

my guess is however you are handling these folks is not working, what ever you are doing is the same every time, yet you are hoping for different results....

maybe ask yourself: are you not confronting them? are you not being clear? has this pattern stemmed from a specific incident? have you asked these men why they would feel free to treat you that way ie: what signals you are giving out?

only you know your own answers....but giving up is silly because the same pattern will show up next with a boss a parent or a child ....there is something about your behavior that is inviting some one to think they can be aggressive with you and get what they want...

figure out what it is and it will stop.

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RE: Needing help..close to leaving the lifestyle.. - 8/21/2006 3:50:12 PM

Slipstreme

Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline

quote:

I got a question that might sound stupid but can you explain me what are the "tops and bottoms" cause they are terms that i 've never heard.

Thank you in advance for the piece of enlightment

Chloe

I use Top and bottom to refer to people in scene who do the actions and recieve the actions respectively. I usually use them referring to people who have no inclination for D/s (Dominance/submission) but are in it for the play.

Ie: with my play partners, I am either their Top or bottom, with my slave, I am her Master, and with my subs I am their Dom. Just basic distinction for me, because often in my case, it is often difficult to explain being a masochistic Dominant. Sometimes questions of whether or not that means I am a Dominant arise.

Top and bottom can refer to anyone in scene regardless of whether or not they have a power exchange relationship who are giving or recieving sensation.

In vanilla terms it means the person who is doing the screwing and the person being screwed respectively.

It is however, very difficult to be both a Top and a bottom at the same time, but it is possible (as evidenced by the flogging conga line I had with my best friend from WPB and a local friend).

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Post #: 42