BillsGalSusan
Posts: 69
Joined: 7/18/2006
Status: offline
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marieToo said: quote:
That was very nicely stated
Thank you, marieToo.
My guess is that many of disagreements we have here (and elsewhere) are not nearly as much about who we are as they are about how we talk about our lives. I find it helpful, when I read posts from other people, to keep in mind that there are several things going on, including:
- what people are actually doing;
- what doing those things mean to the people involved; and,
- how those things are explained (and look) to others.
I bet that despite our different language use and frame of reference, my life with Bill and beth's life with Merc are more alike than different. I say this because despite the differences in how our relationships are expressed, both in language and action, the foundation seems very much the same: respect, love, compassion, and commitment--all within a dynamic that Bill and I identify as D/s, and beth and Merc identify as M/s.
Let me give you an example from our life, without reference to Merc and beth, as I do not know any of the details of their life together.
Bill and I have been married for 35 years, and for most of that time we had unmentionables in the house. We have an evening ritual--something we do when Bill walks through the door after work--that has been a constant in our lives, at least during those periods in our life when I was the first one through the door.
Bill normally comes home between 5:30 and 6 PM. About 30 minutes before he arrives, I shower (if I have gotten dirty or sweaty since our morning shower together), change into a skirt, do my hair and apply fresh make-up. I set his after work clothes out on the bed. As he is changing, I pour him the drink of his choice and stand by it waiting for him to come into the room. Then we sit quietly and exchange the news about our day for 15 minutes or so before I ask him if he wants me to begin the final dinner preparations.
It doesn't sound nearly as dramatic, or imbued with the dynamic of our life together, as it would if I greeted him while kneeling naked at the door, but it serves the same purpose, is done with the same amount of awareness and intentionality, and is a good fit for us. It was also a good fit for us in the beginning, when we were, like other D/s couples, inventing our own version of the wheel, in the days before the 'net or the organized scene. It "worked" during the 30 years or so when there was an audience of unmentionables about, as well.
So many of the things people write about here, on CM, have to do with the way we express our natures and our relationships through external trappings like titles, upper case lower case, specific actions, submissive vs slave and dom/me vs master/mistress. I think we talk about those things mainly because they have become a kind of shorthand for concepts, beliefs and guiding principles that are really hard to explain. I believe most of these things, are symbolic, but not necessarily reliable, in terms of what they actually say about the reality of people's lives together.
Enuff already. It's time for me to roast the peppers for dinner, Bill (I mean Master) loves roasted peppers  .
Another Susan
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RE: losing your self - 
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