RE: inferiority complex?

RE: inferiority complex? (Full Version)

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truesub4u -> RE: inferiority complex? (8/12/2006 7:39:18 AM)
Nope... either one is more or less in my book.

WhipTheHip -> RE: inferiority complex? (8/12/2006 7:46:40 AM)
Greetings, > BDSm/Ds is about authority- not sex. I think you are confusing bdsm with D/s. I need to be Captain, but my main interest is bondage and erotic torture. I imagined bdsm when I was 12 years old before I had ever heard of it. I am mostly into bdsm, not authority. --Michael

juliaoceania -> RE: inferiority complex? (8/12/2006 7:46:55 AM)
Some people play kinky sex games with no thought of a complete power exchange going on Some people like to have some vanilla thrown in with their BDSM (This is me) Some people never let go of their roles. All these groups have people that feel inferior or superior. I do not know enough real time lifestylers to make any judgment about them.. but as in any subculture you have variety within the group.

WhipTheHip -> RE: inferiority complex? (8/12/2006 7:58:01 AM)
> The evaluation was mainly, as explained to me afterwards by the > psychiatrist who did it, a ways and means of exploring whether > or not truly criminal images and thoughts (adult-unmentionable > sex) turned me on, whether or not vanilla sex turned me off, if > the only thing that aroused me was kinky sex, etc I am happy to admit a lot of criminal images and thoughts turn me on, and I am mostly aroused by kinky sex. I don't think that makes me any closer to being a criminal than anyone else. Being criminal has to do with your actions and in extreme cases your words, not your thoughts and cravings. Just because someone day dreams about all kinds of things does not make them a criminal or even evil. Someone who daydreams about criminal matters may just have a good career as a novelist. A lot of psychiatry is screwed up. They have done all their research on sexual matters like this on major felons, so their research is going to be skewed. There has never been a scientific study on kink using a test group randomly chosen from the class of all those who are into it.

Homestead -> RE: inferiority complex? (8/12/2006 8:23:24 AM)
If one has to compare one thing to another and call your prefference superior-it does point to insecurity.

juliaoceania -> RE: inferiority complex? (8/12/2006 8:39:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Homestead If one has to compare one thing to another and call your prefference superior-it does point to insecurity. If you have to call it "superior" in front of others, I suppose I would agree. I think that truly superior people do not need to advertise their superiority. They just are self assured of themselves and their choices. Truly superior people do not need to feel superior to others in order to validate themselves either...just my opinion

WhipTheHip -> RE: inferiority complex? (8/12/2006 8:40:06 AM)
> I dont think I have ever, in any forum, any where in my life, seen so many > people argue over definitions as bdsmers do. I thought that was all people did on the Internet. > Ya know... "whats a real slave"? "what does service really mean?", > "would a real dom act like this?" "Should this be a part of a ds relationship?", > "Is this humiliation or degradation?" I mean an exchange of thoughts is cool. > But Ive never seen so much hair splitting in my life. How many Internet debates have you particpated in? But I am in general agreement with here. > Ive also never seen such a majority of people who need to point out how > 'real' they are at what they do, and be so intent on having everyone around > them believe it. Lesbians do it, so do enviromentalists, so do vegans, so do conservatives, so do liberals, so do Catholics, Muslims, and most people of most nations, men, and women. It is called party purity. Every group has it ayotallahs who espouse the party line. Most lesbians look down on females who are bi. Most enviromentalists look down on anyone whoever sides with big business, vegans condmen those who are not 100"% pure vegan, conservatives condemn anyone who supports choice, liberals condemn anyone who supports the war in Iraq, Catholics burn and torture Protestants because they are not true Christians, Sunnis burn and torture Shiites because they are not real Muslims, men get insulted if you accuse them of not being real men, and women get insulted if you accuse them of not being real women. People are enamored with labels, and need to feel part of some exclusive community. Its the "us against them" mentality. This is especially true of groups that have been persecuted. Blacks are always accusing other blacks of not really being black. Many blacks try to convince other blacks, that they are real blacks. Humans tend to be very judgmental and intolerant. I thought I would find acceptance with people who experienced persecution because of their beliefs or some aspect about them over which they have no control, but found each group to be just as judgmental and intolerant as every other group. That is why I am creating a group and a community for nonjudgmental, tolerant people who care about others. The name of this intentional community is called "Empathy." You can find it at www.ic.org. Here is a direct link: http://directory.ic.org/records/?action=view&page=view&record_id=20445 > Beyond that Ive never seen such over reactions when someone doesnt > approve of someone else's bent. That is the way of the world. > Then you hear "Isnt this lifestyle about acceptance" "Isnt this lifestyle > about being non-judgmental" "Isnt this lifestyle about tolerance?" Hardly. But when you find one community about acceptance, non-judgmentalness and acceptance let me know. You will save me a lot of time, money and effort. I wouldn't be trying so hard to create on such community, if it existed anywhere on Earth. > Im thinking, why the fuck do you need Joe Schmo's approval of > what you do? That is exactly what I think, but I guess people care about fitting and conforming. Humans are not islands. We live in a society. It is very hard to live in a society when no one approves of what you do. There is a great feeling of alienation an lonliness when you realize you are alone, and not part of any larger community. It seems to me as if every community is controlled by their most extreme, dedicated members. Warm regards, Michael

Homestead -> RE: inferiority complex? (8/12/2006 8:42:32 AM)
yes. I'm different, not better.

zenofeller -> RE: inferiority complex? (8/12/2006 8:52:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhiteRadiance I agree with Marie, although would not say it is an inferiority complex. It seems to be a hungry need for validation of any sort. this would, in fact, serve to diagnose an inferiority complex. quote: ORIGINAL : CreativeDominant My ex "outed" me to her lawyer during the divorce i'm curious how many people would think this is fair proceeding.

AAkasha -> RE: inferiority complex? (8/12/2006 9:00:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: zenofeller so, do you think bdsm has an inferiority complex with respect to vanilla ? only sex or other things too ? or not at all ? do you agree some squeamishness exists, but it's explained otherwise ? do you not agree it exists at all ? No. I just think that, like all sub cultures, people in them tend to want to feel more special about what they are doing, they feel it is a rebirth to them, they feel it is better for them- so they make the mistake of universalizing it and saying that it IS better. People enter a sub culture partly because they do not feel they fit well in mainstream culture (if they did, they'd never feel a desire to explore or keep exploring after they stumbled in). Once they find that "fit" they will latch onto it too tightly, often blinded by their own newness glare. This tends to make everything else look a little pale in comparison until the glare dies down. Nothing has really changed except the person's perspective. BDSm/Ds is about authority- not sex. Thus, we, in general, can understand the levels of authority working in a relationship with a finder subtlety than most vanillas. But when it comes to sex, we're as blind and unaware and held back by our own inhibitions as any vanilla. Not everyone who practices BDSM considers themselves part of the "sub culture" or "lifestyle". I think this issue of superiority is more prevalant in "the lifestyle" (here on collarme, at munches, at bdsm gatherings, or in instances where kinky people adopt a new circle of friends/peers) than in "non-lifestyle" circles. I think people "in the lifestyle" also tend to look down on those that are kinky but don't subscribe to the subculture. It does not matter how often the non-lifestylers practice bdsm, how extreme, how much the power exchange is prevalent in their relationship; if they aren't "in the lifestyle" they aren't as legitimate. Some people don't want/need a sense of community, a brand new group of peers who "understand them," a place to go and hang out to feel a part of something, or a place to regularly measure themselves against and see who is kinkier. They may have some kinky friends and some non kinky friends, and they think vanilla is just as hot. Akasha

marieToo -> RE: inferiority complex? (8/12/2006 9:30:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: ORIGINAL: Homestead If one has to compare one thing to another and call your prefference superior-it does point to insecurity. I think that truly superior people do not need to advertise their superiority. Exactly. I have always believed if a person has to profess it (whatever it may be) they're most likely not it.

zenofeller -> RE: inferiority complex? (8/12/2006 9:31:48 AM)
do you tell that to the cop at the door too ? or are you willing to drop the "always" ?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: inferiority complex? (8/12/2006 12:15:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level Not to everyone it isn't. Or, not just about authority, I should say. Sex has its place in BDSM and D/s too, if one wants it. Agreed. I did not mean to imply that sex is any less important or part of relationships in bdsm/Ds than in vanillas.

missturbation -> RE: inferiority complex? (8/12/2006 12:48:09 PM)
so, do you think bdsm has an inferiority complex with respect to vanilla ? only sex or other things too ? or not at all ? do you agree some squeamishness exists, but it's explained otherwise ? do you not agree it exists at all ? I haven't noticed it but like anything people don't practice they don't always try to understand. I don't like fishing, i cant understand why anyone would want to sit for hours and maybe not catch a thing. I've never enjoyed vanilla sex unless it was mixed in with bdsm so cant really understand my friends who just practice nilla. I don't have an inferiority complex about it though, my understanding of this is that i would feel not as good as other people and if anything i tend to think with the mix of bdsm and vanilla i have practiced i actually have a better sex life. Anyway who is actually to say what normal sex is - to me the desire to be whipped, caned etc etc is normal and i dont think i know anyone who has sex without some sort of kink in it. I dislike labelling sex into bdsm and nilla because we all just basically like what we like. and any comments about my cock you wish to share. U r one ???????? Just kidding.

MistressSassy66 -> RE: inferiority complex? (8/12/2006 12:57:26 PM)
I like either...sometimes a romantic soft evening no bondage etc is nice...BUTT so is a good ass whipping,boot stomping session.

marieToo -> RE: inferiority complex? (8/12/2006 6:58:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zenofeller do you tell that to the cop at the door too ? or are you willing to drop the "always" ? No, I have always believed that people who profess things about themselves, usually arent all that. If a cop shows up at my door, I'll most likely be able to tell if hes a cop or not. You know, the car in front of the house, the badge , the uniform, the gun on his hip etc. He wont need to profess his copdom. And no, I wouldnt tell a cop at my door any damn thing. But I would express my opinion in the appropriate forum, which this happens to be. People who brag or profess things about themselves are "most likely" not all that. which is exactly what I said. Not that they couldnt be, but are "most likely" not all that. No, I dont wish to drop any word out of my statement. But thanks.

zenofeller -> RE: inferiority complex? (8/12/2006 7:16:12 PM)
so then what you mean is that people who profess unverifiable qualities are usually not at all.

marieToo -> RE: inferiority complex? (8/12/2006 8:07:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zenofeller so then what you mean is that people who profess unverifiable qualities are usually not at all. Yes, in my experiences I have found this to be true almost 100% of the time. People brag or exagerate things such as wealth, intellect, experience at something, talents, what have you. Im not saying this would apply to someone talking about themselves and stating their strengths or something of that nature. Im talking about people who profess things repeatedly. ie braggarts for one example. Its been my obseravation that whatever they're bragging about its usually bullshit. I think this may be partially due to an actual opposite belief of self, though I cant really speak to the motive with any certainty.

Homestead -> RE: inferiority complex? (8/12/2006 8:11:24 PM)
Behaving like a decent human being doesn't make you superior, just at peace.

nefertari -> RE: inferiority complex? (8/12/2006 8:20:49 PM)
I believe that is what she was implying.

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