RE: Never Been Collared

RE: Never Been Collared (Full Version)

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spankmepink11 -> RE: Never Been Collared (8/23/2006 7:46:39 AM)
I have never been formally collared, although i once wore a collar of "consideration" in a relationship with a Dominant. I asked to be released because while He was a good person in general, He was not physically affectionate, since this is something i know i need...it also told me that our needs/desires were not complimentary. In my eyes, collaring is exactly like a marriage committment, and i would no sooner accept one lightly after a short aquaintance than i would jump wily nily from marriage to marriage.

precious13 -> RE: Never Been Collared (8/23/2006 8:44:14 AM)
well.. i've been in relationships with and without collars... collars were very important to me 15 years ago... now... all that matters is what's in the heart... i am sooo owned right now... but i doubt there will ever be a collar around my neck from him...

slo18 -> RE: Never Been Collared (8/23/2006 11:22:57 AM)
I was collared and engaged for three years, I learned a great deal from that relationship. and not the least of witch is that i will never ever again accept a collar from someone that I dont feel a grand passion for just because he offers and i dont want to hurt him by saying no.

eyesopened -> RE: Never Been Collared (8/24/2006 2:32:10 AM)
i have never been collared. i have not met a Dom who wanted that level of committment.

maskedsow -> RE: Never Been Collared (8/24/2006 4:47:21 AM)
i have been collared there is nothing more exciting to me then to be on my knees and offically welcomed into a family,since moving overseas i have not been collared and miss it greatly as well as missing those that once owned me

CuteIrishM4F -> RE: Never Been Collared (8/24/2006 9:26:48 AM)
i'm still waiting to find the RIGHT Woman, but honestly, i doubt its going to happen. i'm just not that lucky. a.

lizziepink -> RE: Never Been Collared (9/6/2006 1:40:19 PM)
There have been some very beautiful thoughts in some of the previous posts. I for one do not rate marriage at all. To me ANY commitment can be broken, people change or were not who you thought they were in the first place. I think that i will know when i am owned, it will simply be. i have not been collared but then i am new. Do i wish to be collared? i do not know to be honest. i wish to be owned heart and soul and body. i wish for the marks of his ownership on my body. But any standard conventional form of commitment, even within an alternative lifestyle, makes me wary. There seem to be preconceptions of what it means. i think i would prefer something organic that grows from complete honesty within the relationship and the circumstances. And that total immersion of yourself in your submission to someone you adore and are in awe of, is all i seek. Not alot wanted there lol. As soon as you put a need for commitment on a relationship it changes. i almost feel as maintaining the relationship because of a symbol becomes more important than the honesty and truth of recognising what and where your relationship is. Of course this is my view and reflects my priorities right now. And of course receiving a collar or symbol from a Master i adore may be very important to me, but right now its the emotional and pyscological place that i want/need/crave/desire/seek. And as most seem to be looking i wish you all luck. lizzie. no tags or appropriate quotes. too new :)

ownedandcollared -> RE: Never Been Collared (9/6/2006 7:39:33 PM)
i am collared now. years and years ago, i received an online collar from somebody. Now, though i have a real collar from my Master, and i have had my collar for...about a year now, though i have been His for three and a half.

corsetgirl -> RE: Never Been Collared (9/6/2006 7:41:29 PM)
I have never been collared but I also agree with LA that such a commitment should not be rushed. It used to bother me as I would call this "collar envy" because at munches, I would see the collared subs. However, I also noticed that some were collared too soon only to be released later and not necessarily on the part of the dom. Exploration, training and compatibility takes time between a dom/domme and sub/slave.

maledave777 -> RE: Never Been Collared (9/7/2006 3:51:19 AM)
I have never received a collar before. I do desire to find a dominant woman to have a long-term relationship with her. I would desire to marry her. I would love to receive a collar from her.

babysburnin -> RE: Never Been Collared (9/7/2006 9:18:53 PM)
I'm collared - it's not an engagement ring, not a wedding ring, not even a promise ring ... My situation is complicated, and none of those "symbols" are important. I'm not collared by a simple materialistic symbol, but more importantly by a TRUE devotion. I had a "ROCK" of a diamond before ... I actually ended up paying for it.

cuddleheart50 -> RE: Never Been Collared (9/8/2006 3:43:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I was wondering how many submissives here have never received a collar (Im talking about a full collar)? If you haven't is it because you are not anxious for one, have never had a power dynamic, or because you are in the process of building one? Personally, I am not in a rush for that level of commitment, and wouldn't mind being never collared at all rather than be collared to the wrong one. I have heard many submissives that have been collared talk about what it means to them, etc, and I was just wondering a little about people like me, those who never have been collared. I just have never found the right one yet.....

KatyLied -> RE: Never Been Collared (9/8/2006 6:42:11 AM)
The post about "collar envy" - don't be envious of a symbol. Unless you know the couple involved, you have no idea what that collar symbolizes. People can be collared and have lousy relationships (we see proof of that here frequently). Or their relationship may not be the same type of "relationship" that you think of when you think of "collar". There are many variables. I don't think a collar is anything to be envious of. I know couples where the sub is not collared, but they have a close, loving relationship. It's just a symbol of what their relationship means to them, nothing more.

AquaticSub -> RE: Never Been Collared (9/8/2006 7:17:50 AM)
I have been collared once. Unfortantely that collar has been become meaningless and I know (almost a year after that master decided to leave) wear it both during scenes and as a pretty thing around my neck. No I don't wear it all the time and there was a long time when I wouldn't wear it. The memories have faded now and been replaced with better ones. I want to be collared again but I'm not in a rush. My boyfriend/dominant has said that if we get to the point in the relationship where he doesn't see himself spending his life with anyone but me he will put a collar around my neck. This probably won't be soon but it mean a lot ot me when he does.

Sunshine119 -> RE: Never Been Collared (9/8/2006 8:45:33 AM)
As I've mentioned here on many posts, I've been with the Dominant I live with 24/7 for the last two years but I am not collared. I was married for 20 years....he was married for 23. We both know that it isn't pieces of jewelry that hold people together. We live a full D/s relationship all the time but I'm in NO hurry for a permanent symbol of that relationship. He has made some light kidding that my "collaring" might come as a brand, as a collar, or even a nice necklace wouldn't be appropriate for all situations. It isn't a big deal for either of us. I am his. In the end, that is all that matters.

sultryvoice -> RE: Never Been Collared (9/9/2006 5:15:51 PM)
I have never been collared. When I first came into all this, I was intrigued by that symbol. Now, if I get one, great. If I don't, that's fine too. I learned early on about the so called "Dominants" that buy collars by the gross! First, I have to have a relationship and I don't have anything or anyone near that. I am usually the odd woman out when going to parties and such. I wasn't comfortable for a long time, but now, I don't care. I am happy no matter what.

gypsygrl -> RE: Never Been Collared (9/9/2006 6:54:18 PM)
I've never been collared. I was in a relationship with a Dom for a long time who, after I decided not to play with him anymore because I had become increasingly frightened of him, insisted that he had collared me. He only came up with this idea AFTER I broke off the D/s part of our relationship, and once he started doing stuff like this, I refused to see him in any capacity because it was really scary. I suppose its not surprising that the thought of a "collar" makes me feel a bit panicky. Headgames aren't fun. Even before this happened, though, I was never all that stuck on 'having' one. I agree that they're often treated as status symbols, and, I'm not entirely certain that I can tolerate being owned on that level. It would have to be a very very serious relationship. LA's minimum of 6 months seems really short to me. :) I'd say, at the very least, two years and probably more.

arttemis -> RE: Never Been Collared (9/10/2006 5:51:48 PM)
No, I have never been collared. Like marriage, it is something I hope to only happen once in my life. There have been dominant men in my life who have filled very important and special places in my life. But in none of those relationships did it seem like a forever thing. So while there will continue to be men in my life, I'm not willing to make that serious of a commitment until we are both desirous of the collar, the kids and the picket fence.

corsetgirl -> RE: Never Been Collared (9/10/2006 6:05:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied The post about "collar envy" - don't be envious of a symbol. Unless you know the couple involved, you have no idea what that collar symbolizes. People can be collared and have lousy relationships (we see proof of that here frequently). Or their relationship may not be the same type of "relationship" that you think of when you think of "collar". There are many variables. I don't think a collar is anything to be envious of. I know couples where the sub is not collared, but they have a close, loving relationship. It's just a symbol of what their relationship means to them, nothing more. Well, I see that now as I used to have this notion that when a sub is collared, then the couple must be happy, which is not true at times. Sometimes, appearances are not all of what they seem to be. Besides, it is not the collar that makes a sub happy but the relationship dynamics between a dom and the sub.

sharainks -> RE: Never Been Collared (9/10/2006 7:23:02 PM)
I think a collar means what the people in the relationship want it to mean. The same with wearing a wedding ring. I've never seen a lot of need for either one. If you know you are committed to that person a physical symbol means very little. If you aren't committed a physical symbol will not make it be so. I didn't wear a wedding ring through most of my marriage. I knew I was married and conducted myself as a monogamous married woman.

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