"blocked out scene" or inaccurate memory?

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"blocked out scene" or inaccurate memory? - 8/22/2006 11:19:43 AM

Mavis

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Has anyone ever experienced a scene, then somehow forgotten the details to such an extent that you don't even remember liking it? (until reminded)

This is most strange. i was expressing a bit of dissatisfaction over not getting "any" hard needs met during this last visit. i was being honest enough to voice that i was feeling nothing/ noBody could better fulfil my soft needs, and the M/s is perfect, but i was feeling the desire to explore more BDSM acts, things i hadn't done, the physical things that drove me to look into BDSM in the first place.

i said i was frustrated because i still want to experience things like hand spanking, possibly bondage, feeling truly powerless in a scene.. and while i didn't think it was proper for a slave to FEEL this way, i surely did, and i wanted some of the things i assumed to be in the exchange. Basically, i was whining "what about MY needs", which is way out of character for me.

When He reminded me about a scene, i actually said "well, that wasn't really a BDSM scene, that was practicing Your hobby, i just bottomed." OMg.. where did this selfish bitch come from??

As W/we talked, it was clear He was remembering a different scene than i was at first, but slowly, His reminders toggled my memory. There WAS hand spanking. There was mental bondage, as i was instructed to hold a certain position, and was rewarded for doing so, "punished" when i did not. There was Authority and PE when He said You don't like that do you?" and i said "No, but it's Yours to do with as You wish Master".

i had forgotten ALL of those things, and those were the very things i was complaining about missing! Once reminded, the memories flooded back and i felt like such an idiot.. and an ingrate for not even remembering what He so carefully planned exactly to meet those hard needs. He took it well and suggested possibly i blocked some of it because of the scene being at my home club in front of friends that had never seen me scene before, or that sub space had a hand in clouding my congnitives.

Anyone ever been with a sub that did this, or have you ever done it yourself? i know i will not ever assume i know exactly what happened until W/we debrief again! But i might feel better about it if i know i'm not the first or the last to experience it. Thank Y/you to any that repond.

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RE: "blocked out scene" or inaccurate memory? - 8/22/2006 11:40:25 AM

Bearlee

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Does the term 'subspace' mean anything to you?

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RE: "blocked out scene" or inaccurate memory? - 8/22/2006 11:46:37 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Scene headspace is not rational headspace. Plus, this happens to vanillas and other people all the time (my partner didn't even remember being in one of his best friends weddings). You had one experience, perceived it differently, and your emotional and mental processing skewed it towards where you were going.

Kudos to the both of you for just talking it out and working on the point together!!! That's what matters.

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RE: "blocked out scene" or inaccurate memory? - 8/22/2006 11:51:59 AM

diamonddreamlove

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My Dom is constantly telling me something about a scene that has completely left my mind. Maybe subspace don't know i just know that my body is experiencing and my mind is very seldom right there as to where it has gone your guess is as good as mine. Fortunately He requires that we discuss every scene either afterwards or shortly thereafter. He loves to question and expects the answers and if i don't know them we explore what i do remember with His help i eventually remember the scene.

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RE: "blocked out scene" or inaccurate memory? - 8/22/2006 12:09:49 PM

Slipstreme

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I knew there was a good reason for those pictures and video :P

Actually I have never forgotten a scene. I have forgotten some of the smaller details, and irregardless of whether I Top or bottom, don't expect me to remember what time it is, or how much time passed by. Time becomes meaningless in scene.

I have scened with a friend of mine who would completely forget what happened to him.

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RE: "blocked out scene" or inaccurate memory? - 8/22/2006 12:38:23 PM

Bearlee

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I agree with LA...kudos to Mavis and hers for talking it out. That's awesome!

Perhaps not exactly the same was my being spread-eagled on the deck of my cabin when, after a good flogging/caning my friend whispered in my ear "you ready for needles?" I'd never done them, but was already sorta flyin' so of course said yes. He put three down one breast while I watched. It seemed like moments later he was removing them; I looked down and had over a dozen on each side; very pretty job, I might add! What a surprise; I had no memory of them going in, but felt euphoric! (oh, and saddened when the 2-3 drops of blood that hit the deck got washed away in the rain later that day.) <sigh>

bearlee

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RE: "blocked out scene" or inaccurate memory? - 8/22/2006 1:01:49 PM

AnAtlantaDom

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Although I'm aboslutely NO expert on hypnotism from the small amout of reading I've done it appears to Me that "subspace" or "headspace" as it's called appears to be just that state of mind. I suspect that it is basicly self induced by the sub/slave.

If in their mind, & if it's a form of self hypnosis, they do not wish to remember it or haven't learned to tell themselves, as they enter it, to remember it afterwards then it is unlikely they will.

Make sense to anyone else?

AD

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RE: "blocked out scene" or inaccurate memory? - 8/22/2006 1:03:21 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

What a surprise; I had no memory of them going in, but felt euphoric! (oh, and saddened when the 2-3 drops of blood that hit the deck got washed away in the rain later that day.) <sigh>

bearlee

Heh, that's totally cool.

Mine tend to be much more like this:

Me: Have we done that yet?
Them: Yes, remember at Leather Retreat last year?
Me: No.
Them: Yes, it was right after the pool that afternoon when we gave Kelly an orgasm with the water jets and when Amy and Andy were fisting fucking in the room.
Me: Was that the day you did knife play with Helen?
Them: Yes, exactly.
Me: Oh yeah, now I remember, I guess we did do that.

Our memories are funky things.

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RE: "blocked out scene" or inaccurate memory? - 8/22/2006 1:05:07 PM

Mavis

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Re-hi. additional thoughts on this as i have just discussed having posted this thread w/ Master..

He says He thinks the diff between this trip and others was i had pre-conceived notions of what *should or would* happen, as opposed to the initial phases when i didn't know Him well enough to come in with any pre-conceived notions. His example is i sort of expected dinner at a certain restaurant, and not having gone there, but to another restaurant, i was not realising W/we'd eaten dinner.

Thank Y/you all for sharing about this, i don't feel so weird now, and i think i'm going to try some different strategies this time. For instance, go back to waiting for surprises instead of thinking i know Him well enough to guess which restaurant He'll choose. lol In any case, i will allow for the fact that it's nothing more than sub-space and it might happen again no matter what steps i take to forestall it, but just giving up the lead will make my experiences, (and His! ) more of what they are supposed to be.

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RE: "blocked out scene" or inaccurate memory? - 8/22/2006 1:07:11 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AnAtlantaDom
If in their mind, & if it's a form of self hypnosis, they do not wish to remember it or haven't learned to tell themselves, as they enter it, to remember it afterwards then it is unlikely they will.

Make sense to anyone else?

AD

Definitely sometimes that's what it is. Remember- all hypnosis is a form of self-hypnosis. For me in subspace, I can remember what happened right afterwards, but then it goes all fuzzy on me and within a few days I've lost a lot of it- just the memory of the experience itself remains.

But sometimes it's just a case of too much going on, or being in an emotional place and forgetting, or processing what happened differently than others.

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RE: "blocked out scene" or inaccurate memory? - 8/22/2006 4:12:57 PM

mp072004

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Absolutely, people wholly forget things, and it's not necessarily associated with submissives or bottoms. Dominants and tops do it too, and people do it with vanilla interactions as well. I've greeted a friend by exclaiming that we had not seen one another for a long while, and heard in reply, "But we had lunch together two days ago." It can be embarrassing, as you said, but it's probably not a really big deal. Especially if you find yourself forgetting scenes weeks or months down the line--most people don't remember every one of their sexual experiences.

Though, sometimes, if you wanted some goal accomplished and you did activities you associate with fulfilling that end, but don't feel like you're fulfilled, you may not be. You've done the right things, but they didn't produce the right effects. I've slept a full night and awakened the following morning feeling as though I had not slept a wink. I think what I'm describing this paragraph is much the same.

Monica

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