RE: Is this too funny or what??

RE: Is this too funny or what?? (Full Version)

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nefertari -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/23/2006 10:31:04 PM)
One guy went into elaborate detail telling me how touched he was by my profile and how he could tell how it came from the heart and he was responding from the heart. That he could see how vulnerable I was. Huh? He musta been responding to the wrong profile. [;)] Then another guy who just sent this rather uninspired sex story about a woman getting a massage (even though he says in his profile that this life isn't all about sex). A few days later he emails again and says he thinks I'm pretty and why the name nefertari. I responded to that one and told him there was a reason I didn't respond to the first and told him if he wanted to know why the name to google it. I got 3 responses from him today trying to insult me with fake google findings to my name...going into great detail. Gave me a great laugh! Then the guy that asks me if I have more pictures and to give him more information about me. I resonded and said that it may be offensive, but so be it, but he wants more pics and his profile had none and my profile spoke volumes more than his two-liner and that he should be the one starting. He responded with an email address that I should respond to and he would give me a list. hee hee Too many idiots to pick just one!

spankmepink11 -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/24/2006 5:28:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nefertari One guy went into elaborate detail telling me how touched he was by my profile and how he could tell how it came from the heart and he was responding from the heart. That he could see how vulnerable I was. Huh? He musta been responding to the wrong profile. [;)] *Oh my...i believe i received that exact email the other other day...may i email you to see if it's the same guy?*

CuriouslyKat -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/24/2006 8:22:34 AM)
So, I am new here and my photo got approved yesterday and I have received all sorts of e-mail: 1. Some guy wanted me to shave my Coo to show my status or post naked pictures or leave my kids and run off and be a slave. When I declined it was 'my loss". Oh, poor me!! The sorta thing happened to me alot yesterday. 2. Was from the best troll I have ever seen in a long time. shakes head I will have to find a way to write it up in a way so I don't reveal the true name of the person. It was badly awesome. I have more gotten more good than bad though and have met some great people so far.

onestandingstill -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/24/2006 12:21:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire quote: ORIGINAL: Donnalee Here's one I've got: I've read your profile and will permit you to contact Me. Yeah, riiight. The profile that says I'm not looking for anyone??? Ug. Oh, I love these... My boy gets them on occasion. He tells me about it, ad then his replies are usually "My Mistress appreciates my having recieved permission to contact you. SHE has given me permission to tell you very respectfully to go take a flying fuck. Have a lovely day" DV LOLROTF!!!!! Very cute revenge indeed. Thanks to all of you for your replies. SOmetimes to see it's not just in my world helps keep the contacts in perspective. Suzanne

onestandingstill -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/24/2006 12:35:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jamesthehumanrug dear ,*one standing still* ; your name for one thing IS the funniest thing a person ever CALLED THEMSELVES Hi James, If you'd taken the time to see my profile you'd see my name comes from the notion I just ended a relationship with my first Dom and I'm not ready to play or date till I heal some sore spots inside me. The standing still name comes from that predicament. Why would you think it's a funny name?? I mean I'm glad it brings you humor, but I just don't get the joke. As far as this Pro Domme woman you mention I think that's not a healthy relationship she has with you. Maybe it's time to help yourself more and the unappreciative her less. Suzanne

zumala -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/24/2006 2:26:53 PM)
I've had a lot of the typical 'hi. how r u?' messages. I've been called fake once out of the blue. I had some guy a few days ago write and tell me that the fact that I wouldn't have sex with someone other than my husband was insulting. I'm thinking... huh? How is my not having sex with you insulting? Then there was the submissive male who wrote to say 'nice pic. i want to fuck you tonight'. Dude... you're not even in the same STATE as me and you obviously didn't read my profile, AND you're a subbie. Ya freak. [sm=biggrin.gif]

foxglove716 -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/24/2006 3:42:39 PM)
My personal favourite was this simple statement... "I own you?" Yep, question mark included. I get this funny mental image of a shady little creep saying it while tilting his head like the RCA dog

spankmepink11 -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/25/2006 12:45:31 PM)
This one came today...gosh...this is kind of fun...what are these people thinkin? "hello brat/brats get spanked, quite often "

Reflectivesoul -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/25/2006 1:15:53 PM)
oh oh oh... just wait till you get the entire porn novel lmao... I got one a while back but its not in muh saved mail anymore ( lotsa stuff isnt there anymore... I had like 16 pages andnow have like 2 ) anywho... This fella laid out an entire scene from start to finish ( in all honesty it was quite well written ) and then at the end says something along the lines of now that you read this and I contacted you, you may be the bitch in my story... shakes head dumbass... for those of you with repeat idiots block and delete are your friends.... sometimes I think they get stuck in the.... Pete and Repeat are in a boat, Pete falls out who is left?....

TNstepsout -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/25/2006 1:41:24 PM)
I've had too many really funny ones to remember all of them, but a couple of them stand out: I had a guy email me with "Greetings Sub" that was it. I expected him to follow it up with "take me to your leader", but it didnt' happen. Then one of the first emails I ever got was a guy who asked me about four questions with no other introduction or anything. One of them was "how do you dress yourself?" When I responded that I prefer to dress in undergarments first and clothing last (although I don't judge others if they prefer to do it differently) he got very offended and said I was a "little girl with no training". He was right. Another one that stands out was the delusional guy in Hawaii who wanted me to join him there as he was lonely while hiding out from George Bush because he blew the whistle on the dangers of Aspartame and was being stalked by the government. I had a guy on another site send me a REALLY raunchy badly spelled email telling me things he wanted to do to me. He had one of those nics like 12fucku or something like that. Anyway, after a couple of emails, I responded back and politely asked him if this approach was working for him. (heck I dunno, maybe some gals go for that) To which he replied "no". But he didn't give up. He sent me one more email.

closertonova -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/25/2006 2:14:24 PM)
i have gotten a few crazy ones especially from poly groups when i had added how much i personally don't do poly but this is a fav of mine: Intellectual discourse and hair pulling. Vibrators and Mathematics. You're not real, right? You were planted here to tease me, right? i found that a silly pic of myself cut out all the creepies

MasterNdorei -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/26/2006 7:47:55 PM)
i receive scathing email from women on a fairly regular basis. Most of them are poly issues. The one that really blew me away, bashing me because in my profile it states that i will always be Master's alpha slave. She ranted how she would be Master's alpha (having never introduced herself before this), how she would end up dominating me and i would thank her for it, how she has years of experience in poly relationships blah blah blah... it was the longest email collarme has ever allowed me to receive. When i looked at her profile she was ranting the same rant in her journal, directing it towards me also. Her journal was full of explosively angry rants about other people on collarme... made me wonder how many of them had never corresponded with her but managed to spark her rage because of their profile... Master's dorei

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/26/2006 9:25:21 PM)
Does it amaze anyone else the lengths some people go to to try and get our attention? I recieved one today, that went about bashing my boy, tellng me he was all wrong for me, and I was settling if I decided to go for him. I am paraphrasing, of course, since it was a very long involved email. Essentialy, he was a far better fit for me than my boy is (which he knows from reading both our profiles) and he cant imagine a beautiful goddess like me settling for a mere child when I had so many REAL men to chose from. (I asume he grouped himself in there) He goes on to tell me what I need from a sub, which is I obviously have the sadistic lok about me and need someone who can take a good beating when I ahve had a bad day. I also need somenoe with a voracious sex drive, so I guess in between beatings I can screw his head off. Yeah, I dont know if I am going to respond, or if im goig to toss this one to the boy and let him have at it. He writes such good comebacks to emails like this usually. And he so enjoys defending his position with me. DV

Reflectivesoul -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/26/2006 9:32:14 PM)
lol DV.... I say let the boy have it and tell him it deserves a good proper fuck you at the end of it lmao [:D]

Homestead -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/26/2006 9:36:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire Does it amaze anyone else the lengths some people go to to try and get our attention? I recieved one today, that went about bashing my boy, tellng me he was all wrong for me, and I was settling if I decided to go for him. I am paraphrasing, of course, since it was a very long involved email. Essentialy, he was a far better fit for me than my boy is (which he knows from reading both our profiles) and he cant imagine a beautiful goddess like me settling for a mere child when I had so many REAL men to chose from. (I asume he grouped himself in there) He goes on to tell me what I need from a sub, which is I obviously have the sadistic lok about me and need someone who can take a good beating when I ahve had a bad day. I also need somenoe with a voracious sex drive, so I guess in between beatings I can screw his head off. Yeah, I dont know if I am going to respond, or if im goig to toss this one to the boy and let him have at it. He writes such good comebacks to emails like this usually. And he so enjoys defending his position with me. DV I guess our styles differ a bit. If I were in your position I'd probably just fire back How very clever, no. And block him.[;)]

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/26/2006 9:39:43 PM)
Well, not usually. However, it is just so much fun to read the boy's replies sometimes. He gets suc a kick out of it, and the laugh is usually worth the read. Otherwise this guy is a waste of time, so why not get some amusement out of it? DV

Homestead -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/26/2006 9:43:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire Well, not usually. However, it is just so much fun to read the boy's replies sometimes. He gets suc a kick out of it, and the laugh is usually worth the read. Otherwise this guy is a waste of time, so why not get some amusement out of it? DV I like to torment people who try to torment me. It's mondo amusing to have the last word, and keep them guessing what my next move will be. A move that never comes.[;)]

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/26/2006 9:49:34 PM)
I love verbal sparring with someone trying to torment me. This, however, was not worth my time. Actually, tis gotten more airtime here in the forum than it would have otherwise. When the Doms contact me telling me about my glorious submissive side they cant wait to discover, that I wil torment back. Gleefully somtimes. I often suggest they discover theirs before trying to uproot mine. Or beligerant subs who cant take no for an answer, which I get many of. But someone like this would be a one time, tell off and go. So, the boy can have fun with it. DV

FelinePersuasion -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/26/2006 10:14:35 PM)
I had someone email me once telling me how many chins do you have, 6? Well he had a cigarett in his hand smoking it in some public place so I asked him how many people he was trying to kill with his polluting stinky fowl cigarrett lol. quote: ORIGINAL: zumala I've had a lot of the typical 'hi. how r u?' messages. I've been called fake once out of the blue. I had some guy a few days ago write and tell me that the fact that I wouldn't have sex with someone other than my husband was insulting. I'm thinking... huh? How is my not having sex with you insulting? Then there was the submissive male who wrote to say 'nice pic. i want to fuck you tonight'. Dude... you're not even in the same STATE as me and you obviously didn't read my profile, AND you're a subbie. Ya freak. [sm=biggrin.gif]

sctiepipn -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/26/2006 11:10:37 PM)
people ask for a penny for your thoughts, but I am worth more so here is my two cents. I have had a couple of people email me, ended up being in Russia, carried on the conversation and emails, go to the point with one, she said how much she loved me, bla bla bla and then said she got all her infor and passport and paid for most of the airline tickett I just needed to send $600 to this western union account and gave me the number and she would be here, Cali, in two days. The downfall was this I never invited her. Then when I first got on this sight I got two emails, one for So Cal whom i carried on a conversation with for a few emails, another from russia (deleted that one) Just my two cents.

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