Where lies the line of TOO FAR?

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Where lies the line of TOO FAR? - 8/25/2006 6:10:39 AM

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When does a fetish go too far? When does another's right to express their sexuality/fetish stop and your right to consent begin?

I'm not talking about out in the general public, I'm talking about behind the closed doors of a private (not in a private home), members and their guests only, dungeon.

Is there a fetish (let's assume and not list the generally accepted taboo 3 or 4) that you just couldn't ever witness? Is there a fetish that would make your blood boil if you were faced with it?

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

RE: Where lies the line of TOO FAR? - 8/25/2006 6:14:24 AM

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Degradation; I know people into it...it makes me HORRIABLY uncomfortable.

but that's just me,
beverly

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Where lies the line of TOO FAR? - 8/25/2006 6:15:45 AM

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No help here, I don't go to Clubs anymore.
I had my fill of places like "The Vault" years ago.

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Where lies the line of TOO FAR? - 8/25/2006 6:17:20 AM

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I'm a needle phobic. No way I could sit and watch needle play no matter how pretty the results. Doesn't bother me though, someone doing that there, someone will be doing something else a few feet away and I can go watch that... or play with My own girl, or wander away and chat with a friend.

Someone who doesn't seem to know what they are doing and looks to me likely to HARM someone.... so long as that someone isn't mine, its down to the Dungeon monitor to deal with and down to the 'bottom' seeing sense and backing the person off. Again, time for Me to wander elsewhere, prefferably before My blood starts to boil.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Where lies the line of TOO FAR? - 8/25/2006 6:23:31 AM

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Thank you for the response Bearlee. Degradation can be very difficult for many people to watch or hear. Is it something you can walk away from and be fine? Or is it something that, should you suddenly find yourself watching such a scene and walk away, you are bothered or haunted by for some time afterwards?

Is it something you can chalk up to "not for you" and walk away from or does being faced with it leave a mental mark?

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to Bearlee)

RE: Where lies the line of TOO FAR? - 8/25/2006 6:26:25 AM

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Raven, thank you. It seems as though you can easily walk away from certain fetishes that aren't for you without them leaving a mental or emotional mark on you. Is there anything that might cause you to leave the dungeon completely?

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Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to RavenMuse)

RE: Where lies the line of TOO FAR? - 8/25/2006 6:27:39 AM

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popeye, do you attend private parties?

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Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

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RE: Where lies the line of TOO FAR? - 8/25/2006 6:29:30 AM

sapphirepleasure

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I have yet to play publically, but I know that the two things mentioned by Bearlee and RavenMuse also are things I can't deal with. I would suspect that witnessing a very 'real' degradation scene would stick with me and trouble me for some time. (I'm very sensitive and impressionable and don't ever watch horror movies for that reason!) I also can't deal with needles on any level, even had my children naturally to avoid a needle in my spine, and so I am sure I could not comfortably watch a scene of that type and not be affected.

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Where lies the line of TOO FAR? - 8/25/2006 6:30:18 AM

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This is an very excellent question. And deserves a well-thought out answer. I need time to think. I shall return.

- Susan

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That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Where lies the line of TOO FAR? - 8/25/2006 6:31:41 AM

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I can't think of a fetish that makes me angry, as long as the person is within the rules of the party then I think it is your job to excuse yourself if it makes you uncomfortable. Within reason of course.

What does make my blood boil is when people don't know what they are doing, and proceed to do it anyways. If someone is wielding a toy that could really injure the person they are playing with and they aren't using it properly I get very upset. Especially when the bottom is a newbie and doesn't know better themselves.

Jane

(in reply to RavenMuse)

RE: Where lies the line of TOO FAR? - 8/25/2006 6:42:47 AM

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Yourmistress, only 2 munches and 1 lecture here since I moved here from New England two years ago but many, many private parties and Clubs up there and in N.Y.C.
Yes, I'm not real big on degradation either.
I'm more the type to "build up" my sub/slave.
And that goes for humiliation too, I want to make my sub/slave happy in the things I do not make her feel worthless or unwanted or abused.
I use a lot of encouragement rather than discouragement.
And so far it's worked out very well for me.

(in reply to Jane2376)

RE: Where lies the line of TOO FAR? - 8/25/2006 6:49:35 AM

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Yes, there are fetishes that I have no interest in witnessing. I have gone outside at parties, left them entirely...and there is even a party or two that I refuse to attend because I know that certain things are commonplace there. Generally, those are in regard to things that I am morally or ethically opposed to. Most of the time I can walk away without it affecting me much....to each their own.

However, I have had to walk out on scenes where some clueless Dominant was not properly caring for their sub or doing things in a manner that disregards safety for lack of a better way to describe it. I m talking about the kind of stuff that will usually be addressed by the DM anyway. Those times are harder for me because I find it very difficult to keep quiet.

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Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Where lies the line of TOO FAR? - 8/25/2006 6:54:30 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jane2376

I can't think of a fetish that makes me angry, as long as the person is within the rules of the party then I think it is your job to excuse yourself if it makes you uncomfortable. Within reason of course.

Jane2376, thank you for your response. Would you please explain the part of your response that I bolded?

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to Jane2376)

RE: Where lies the line of TOO FAR? - 8/25/2006 6:55:42 AM

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This is a really good question. I feel as though I've come a long way in the last few years, learning about what's out there and what people are into. Especially the past year and a half in here......I think two years ago, I'd have been a lot more offended or turned off or upset about "extreme" things people may practice and it would have bothered me to watch them or even be in a place where they were happening. But I've learned to accept pretty much anything that two adults are consenting to and doing safely and carefully. And I think I've learned that in here.

I think someone severely degrading another person would bother me to the point of wandering away, but I wouldn't leave in a huff or consider intervening. However, if I saw unsafe practices going on, I wouldn't hesitate to get the Dungeon Master. I don't think I could watch cutting, either, and it's not a blood thing, blood itself doesn't bother me. It's the knife going through skin thing that bothers me.

On a side note, which I hope isn't jacking the thread.....in my job as a medical lab tech, needles and drawing blood from people are an everyday occurrance. You'd me amazed at how many people have the extreme needle phobia. I wish I had a dollar for every person who sat down in the chair and announced, "I hate needles...I'm extremely afraid of needles.....Needles terrify me...." and so on.

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You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to popeye1250)

RE: Where lies the line of TOO FAR? - 8/25/2006 6:56:37 AM

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Oh, one time me and a few other guys had to physically eject some people from a private party one time for grabbing ass on others subs.
That was fun, they called the cops on us and everyone who was "dressed" in Kink wear had to hide while we got things ironed out with the cops.

(in reply to mistoferin)

RE: Where lies the line of TOO FAR? - 8/25/2006 6:56:41 AM

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I'm not for degradation either...I think that is the hardest thing for me to witness and it does stay with me. I tend to be a puzzle solver and would be wondering why the person wanted to be degraded...did something happen to make them that way and what could it possibly be.

I do the walk away thing though sometimes I can be in the middle of an involved scene myself and someone sets up next to me and does something I *wish* I could just walk away from.

(in reply to popeye1250)

RE: Where lies the line of TOO FAR? - 8/25/2006 7:02:36 AM

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Joined: 8/8/2005
From: SF, California
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quote:

When does a fetish go too far? When does another's right to express their sexuality/fetish stop and your right to consent begin?

I'm not talking about out in the general public, I'm talking about behind the closed doors of a private (not in a private home), members and their guests only, dungeon.

Is there a fetish (let's assume and not list the generally accepted taboo 3 or 4) that you just couldn't ever witness? Is there a fetish that would make your blood boil if you were faced with it?

1> When said fetish places others (non-participants in a scene) at risk of physical injury/contamination.
8-foot bullwhip in a 10'x12' playspace? begging for an accidental strike.
Uncontained/restricted bloodplay? not if I risk contracting an STD from a stray. unnoticed droplet.

2> When said fetish places the establishment at risk. But that's why we have DMs :)

Other than that, we have the right to turn away from a scene that "squicks" us and return to play after that particular scene concludes.

Just an opinion.

Respectfully,
RFJM

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Where lies the line of TOO FAR? - 8/25/2006 7:06:04 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress
Raven, thank you. It seems as though you can easily walk away from certain fetishes that aren't for you without them leaving a mental or emotional mark on you. Is there anything that might cause you to leave the dungeon completely?

The only situation I can think of that would automaticaly cause Me to leave and never return is one around unaceptable behaviour. Any club or event stands the chance of attracting one or more compleat dickheads, they type that will either harrass a submissive or try touching/playing without permission or consent.

In such cases, they run the risk of me rearanging their body parts, especialy when the girl in question is MINE! but assuming I keep My temper, the proper way to handle it is to turn it over to the club organisers to deal with...... IF they don't take responcibility for dealing with such things in their club... I leave and will not return. IMO dealing with such matters IS the clubs responcibility. They let the arseholes in, they need to get them to behave or leave.

There is a club in London I won't go to because I know the frequency of such things are high there and it is never dealt with satisfactoraly. I don't club much in any event, but I am selective in the ones I am prepaired to frequent.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Where lies the line of TOO FAR? - 8/25/2006 7:09:01 AM

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A few very powerfull women and men are into that degradation thing.
One at a private party one time up North was a bigwig in some big company and her Master asked a bunch of us guys to drink up so we could piss on her hair, face and breasts.
We took turns and she loved it.
I can't figure out how that would give someone pleasure.

(in reply to MzTlaz)

RE: Where lies the line of TOO FAR? - 8/25/2006 7:15:01 AM

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From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Yes, there are fetishes that I have no interest in witnessing. I have gone outside at parties, left them entirely...and there is even a party or two that I refuse to attend because I know that certain things are commonplace there. Generally, those are in regard to things that I am morally or ethically opposed to. Most of the time I can walk away without it affecting me much....to each their own.

mist, thank you for your response. What are the times that you can't walk away without it affecting you?

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to mistoferin)

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