Responsibilities of a Dom-me/sub

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Responsibilities of a Dom-me/sub - 8/26/2006 11:30:06 AM

MsWillAdore

Posts: 27
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline

I have this posted in the "Ask A Master" forum as well:

What are the responsibilites of a Dominant while in a scene and with
His/Her submissive when not playing?

What are the responsibilites of a submissive while in a scene and with
his/her Dominant when not playing?

Are these just understood or should these responsibilites be
communicated between Dominant and submissive?

Are responsibilities on the same line as limits and needs?

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RE: Responsibilities of a Dom-me/sub - 8/26/2006 11:32:17 AM

MsWillAdore

Posts: 27
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline

And damn if I didn't cut off the last paragraph... damn fingers!

"Are responsibilities on the same line as limits and needs? Is the Dominant responsible for His/Her submissive's feelings, attitude..etc.
If so, what is it the Dominant should in order to change any negative feelings, attitude..etc the submissive may have about Him/Herself or the relationship as a "whole"? "

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsWillAdore

I have this posted in the "Ask A Master" forum as well:

What are the responsibilites of a Dominant while in a scene and with
His/Her submissive when not playing?

What are the responsibilites of a submissive while in a scene and with
his/her Dominant when not playing?

Are these just understood or should these responsibilites be
communicated between Dominant and submissive?

Are responsibilities on the same line as limits and needs?

(in reply to MsWillAdore)

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Post #: 2

RE: Responsibilities of a Dom-me/sub - 8/26/2006 11:44:30 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Your responsibilities beyond those of being a good human being are things you need to discuss in negotiation.

Don't take anything for granted.

Or to put it in a slightly rude way "Assuming things makes an ass out of me and u."

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MsWillAdore)

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RE: Responsibilities of a Dom-me/sub - 8/27/2006 7:37:10 PM

ladylexington

Posts: 117
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline

A large part of the responsibities you mentioned depends on the level of power exchange. "Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns" has a nice summary of each person's responsibilities depending on the relationship's extent of power exchange.

I try very hard, especially in the beginning of a realtionship, to communicate everything. Not only does it make everyone's role clearer, it establishes my requirements, fosters trust, encourages honesty, and tends to build more emotional awareness in the sub. This also helps if I choose to address a sub's attitude toward himself, the lifestyle, or the relationship.

Communication also helps me screen prospects very closely, so our limits and needs mesh. If a sub is unhappy with the relationship, we talk about the issue. And, more than once, I have dissolved a play relationship because the sub was unhappy. I'd rather end the relationship while I still cared enough for the sub to support him during the transition.

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If you must gamble your lives sexually, don't play a lone hand too much. -- Mark Twain

(in reply to thetammyjo)

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