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How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 4/18/2004 4:24:44 PM   
MistressKiss


Posts: 295
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I have received two emails from a submissive male (I think) who took it upon himself to tell me that I really was not a switch...once a submissive, always a submissive. His first email was fairly short, and I kindly answered that he did not know me, we were two different people and thank you for writing. I received back a lengthy reply stating basically that all I was doing was exploring, and that I would soon be writing on this site that I am now back to being submissive. I was basically being told that my outlook was wrong, thank you very much.

This is how to piss off a switch in one easy lesson.

First of all, I did not even know this person, had never emailed him, never interacted with him on this board or anywhere else. Hence, he doesn't know the first thing about me, or the second thing, and definitely not the third thing. Next, he does not identify as a switch, therefore has no concept of what that mindset is and can become. Rant, rant, rant, slap, rant, bitch slap, kick in the groin, swat, whip, whip, whip....

I feel much better.

Had adequate investigation into my story been done, said person now dangling from the chains 'gainst yonder wall would know that I started as a dominant personality and moved from that to expressing my submissive side. It ain't easy being a switch. And allow me to say, it's a damn good thing that his comments were not made in person - talk about a quick change to the dom side!! (laughs)

Not everyone understands the switch mentality and there are not near as many switches, it seems to me, as there are people who identify with one side or the other. Since I am exploring - yes, I admit it openly...EXPLORING... - I very well may at the end decide that I prefer submission only. However, that does not mean that I don't or can't express the dominance as well.

I suppose the thing that pissed me off the most was the arrogance of this person who decided he knew everything about me without any interaction with me. I abhor arrogance, especially when there is no basis for it. A switch is just that...a person who likes to switch back and forth from dominance to submission. A person who wants their cake and wants to eat it too. A wonderful fun person that knows how to play on both sides. It's not the plague to be a switch, and it is not an excuse not to choose sides!!! Rant, rant, bitch, bitch, bitch, slap, whip, crop, crop, crop, whip, whip, slap, bitch slap, rant, rant, rant, pinch, paddle, paddle, paddle.....so there.

I feel so much better now.




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

"I assure you, Your Honor, I don't have to practice...I'm very good at them..."
(The Marquis de Sade at one of his trials for the sexual perversities he practiced)
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 4/18/2004 4:46:44 PM   
SherriA


Posts: 544
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Yeah, what SHE said!

Thanks Kiss, from us switches/sadomasochists/equal opportunity perverts out here.

Feh to those who pass judgement on us, just because they can't understand how we're wired.

-- Sherri

_____________________________

-- Sherri

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

(in reply to MistressKiss)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 4/18/2004 5:28:45 PM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Kiss,

lol

It wasn't a submissive male. He didn't ask you to beat him?

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to MistressKiss)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 4/18/2004 7:42:46 PM   
MistressKiss


Posts: 295
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		(laughs) Thanks! That makes me feel better too. You're right...giggles




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

"I assure you, Your Honor, I don't have to practice...I'm very good at them..."
(The Marquis de Sade at one of his trials for the sexual perversities he practiced)

(in reply to iwillserveu)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 4/18/2004 8:00:55 PM   
GotHotLove


Posts: 10
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you sooooo much MistressKiss, You said that sooooo
eloquently....
I wish more people would get it!
I like your pic too, BTW~smile~
Got Hot Love




Attachment (1)

< Message edited by GotHotLove -- 4/19/2004 6:57:59 AM >

(in reply to MistressKiss)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 4/23/2004 10:58:51 AM   
aimdb12001


Posts: 5
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I can understand what you mean. As a male of 54 who has enjoyed both roads of bdsm since I was 16, I know what you mean.

Wehn I share my sub interest with a dom, I rarely bring up the fact that I switch and enjoy it. Yet in switching, I feel the advantage of "been there, done that" and I can appreciate so many more avenues of where I am and go when I sub and also when I switch.

I truly appreciate the erotic smile on a womans face as she enjoys her ball torture with me

Just knowing what how much erotic pleasure she enjoys as she shares her cbt interest with me is knowing she is fulfilled as much as I am...

Wehn I switch, my sub interest is also there, the compassion, the caring, knowing when to push , when not to.. trying new things for her and for me... not being negative for what she wants to share with me if she is subing.. and when I sub, and knowing the woman, knowing I can ask her to try new things or to take me father then I want to go at the time... both of us knowing that is where I and her want me to go.

It's hard to have people understand either way, let alone someone who have never and or will never have an interest in power sharing, bdsm joy, excitment and erotic sharing. Even more diffuclt to explain to people that sharing sub and or dom, bdsm is not always of sex... more that it is sharing mind as well as the body.

just a thought

db in WI

(in reply to MistressKiss)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 4/25/2004 6:48:31 AM   
Brennatx


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/24/2004
Status: offline 		I, too, get emails of this nature, and in part I believe it originates in the myth that I have not made up my mind yet or that I am confused about my sexual orientation, and that I somehow can benefit from someone else's advice. Being a direct person fully capable of asking for advice, I'm never sure how they arrive at that conclusion without my invitation.

I didn't make up my mind. I'm a switch, and it took a senior member to help me realize that my orientation is based on relationships with others. In the leather world, I am submissive to many wonderful people. It's an authority exchange. As Mistress, I am Dominant to one. As a spanko, I switch based on my mood and who is standing in front of me.

As I act as guide for those entering this world, I try not to ask the "So, what are you?" question.
Brenna

(in reply to MistressKiss)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 4/27/2004 12:20:30 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		This whole post seems oddly reminiscent of that misconception that a woman is a lesbian (I am not sure women say this about male homosexuals) because she has not met the right man yet.

A person is who and what they are, in my opinion, and I dont think person A has any business passing judgement on person B. If a person identifies as a switch, far be it from me to say "that is not possible" or whatever.

There are exceptions, but these usually (to me) deal more with consensuality issues. For example, a person may be a child molester, but a child is not emotionally mature enough to consent to being treated that way. So our society has laws to protect those who cannot protect themselves from predation.

Your comments were very articulate, by the way.

Sinergy

(in reply to Brennatx)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 5/14/2004 10:45:25 PM   
maxPlay


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/14/2004
From: Southern New jersey
Status: offline 		I don't think anyone totally understands a switch. Not even the switch themselves all the time.
For me many times it is who I am with that brings out one side or another. And I do agree that it is a lot of exploring...and why not.
I have been put down many times for being a switch. Told I am only a player and not really serious. To those purists I say whatever works for you. It's my life and I am the one that has to live it and feel it.
You either get it or you don't....and I can't make anyone understand it any better then I can. But, it is real.
Reading your comments and others on the matter was refreshing.
my very best to you all.

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 5/15/2004 9:44:42 AM   
beardedsub


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		maxplay i agree.sometimes i dont understand myself either.i seem to want to be sub most, but when i am with somebody else i seem to always end up being Dom.not as a choice ,mind you ,it just seems i have a hard time finding anyone that brings out my sub side.
mabey someday i wil find that person.

(in reply to maxPlay)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 3/2/2005 2:20:37 AM   
knees2you


Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline 		I was Collared to a Switch~
It was before I knew what a Switch was?

I would have and did do anything for Her.
I believe to be a good Mistress You have to be a good
Submissive.
I just wish I was a switch, or had been at that time~

MistressKiss~~~~~~~> @`{~~~(~~~~

Sincerely, ant

(in reply to beardedsub)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 3/14/2005 6:06:04 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Well said everyone. Both my girlfriend and I are proud to be sadomasochistic, bisexual switches. Or in other words, we're just greedy and love it all

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 3/14/2005 8:21:50 PM   
othiym


Posts: 17
Joined: 10/29/2004
Status: offline 		I will react in different ways to different people.. and not all full-fledged dominants seem to be as dominant or capable as i feel I am--though I'm sure I'm generally happiest as a submissive (masochist), there are other people that I have enough interest in to play with--but I realize that due to their needs as submissives it would be more mutually beneficial for me to take a leading role--and less clinically--they simply bring out that side. IMO, there are many variations to the needs a person has--and just because the purists are satisfied with one half of the spectrum, doesn't mean we all have to be.

"...does not moral fortitude beyond knowledge-beyond disintegrative and inhibitory erudition-entail a simplification, a moral reduction of the world and the soul and hence a concomitant intensification of the will to evil..?" - Death in Venice

Haha...this is fun and remarkably accurate.. just for fun ^^
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=18217996183708158422


< Message edited by othiym -- 3/14/2005 8:44:40 PM >

(in reply to beardedsub)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 3/16/2005 2:31:05 AM   
Code99


Posts: 11
Joined: 5/21/2004
Status: offline 		I was reading this thread and got pissed,S/switching is one of the hardest things to do.
I live in a poly relationship where Im proud to serve a Mistress and I have a beautiful submissivess,W/we live it 24-7/365.
Its not easy and it takes alot of work and patience,honesty.
MsD

_____________________________

D.L.H

(in reply to othiym)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 3/17/2005 6:34:43 PM   
michellewarner


Posts: 48
Joined: 3/7/2005
Status: offline 		just my 2 cents... i've been known to switch on occasion, though i'm mostly submissive. my attitude is generally that i am the only person i absolutely have to face every day. everyone else, at bottom (no pun intended ) is optional. as long as i am comfortable with who and what i am, and i am not causing harm, then i get to choose who has influence over me and who doesn't. when people try to impose their view of the world upon me, i usually tell them that it's perfectly ok for them to have that view, but to go have it somewhere else.

(in reply to Code99)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 3/21/2005 10:51:08 AM   
bearcub76


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/23/2004
Status: offline 		Last year, my partner and I started a switch discussion group in San Diego. One of the things that we found surprising was how many people in the community are "closet" switches. Once they had a safe place to go and share their experiences, they came out in droves. In my experience, here seems to be a very negative view on switches in many communities.

(in reply to michellewarner)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 3/21/2005 10:44:51 PM   
Mondschein


Posts: 52
Joined: 3/23/2004
Status: offline 		Yeah, I get the same people writing to me. At least I know I'm not alone. That makes me feel better.

(in reply to MistressKiss)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 3/22/2005 5:52:24 AM   
DublinSwitch


Posts: 59
Joined: 1/28/2005
Status: offline 		I completly agree with you in terms of people 'telling' you what you are. One thing that I can't really get to grips with in the whole scene is the amount of labels that surround it...and the pathetic efforts of people to try to get you to fit in one of them. The amount of jargon the whole bsm scene brings with it is mind-boggling, personally I also think that it is abused by some people in terms of being 'more experienced' (another pet peeve is people who tell you they have 50 years or whatever experience - who cares?? really so what? you have 50 years experience and your still looking?)

OK - in danger of going off on a mad rant here. Almost every good Domme / Sub that I have met has switched at some time, and a lot of them don't rule out doing it again in the future. And anyone that says 'I would and have never top / bottom' is in my thinking at least a little closed minded and not open to new experiences. Which is ok I guess but not sure how it fits in with the whole 'lifestyle' - another corny term - which I am pretty sure requires a relatively open mind.

Anyways - your right - the best way to piss off a switch is to tell them 'oh no your not'.

DS

(in reply to Mondschein)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 3/22/2005 12:33:38 PM   
norseteddybear


Posts: 5
Joined: 2/25/2005
Status: offline 		MistressKiss.and others I agree with you and wish that this open world of B/D would not be so damm judgemental..Try being a Male switch.that is a stay at home dad.You have never been attacked till they find out that is what is my arraingment..I have been called evrything from a freak to a sissy to less then a man and then they go into the Switch issue..
I agree with a few of the postings...People love to attack what they do not understand or can not handle...It takes a special person to be switch..it can be confusing at times....Mostly it is the best feeling in the world you can ever have(if you enjoy switch)to give the same pleasure to someone that has been given to you............
Like I said I agree with most of you..but one..I have no idea what being a child molester has anything to do with the B/D world or switch's.....I am aware that it was used just as a medifore..But it just send my red flags plum flying....(Dom side)
I love all the posts and I hope nothing I have said here has upset any carts or minds....(sub side)

(in reply to MistressKiss)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 4/3/2005 11:39:08 PM   
FistyMcfist


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/1/2005
Status: offline 		I always love it when someone tells me something like "You're not a switch". It allows me to stop wasting my time talking to the idiot.

(in reply to norseteddybear)
Profile   Post #: 20
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