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Self Mutilation Video - 8/26/2006 12:46:35 PM

Posts: 267
Joined: 6/24/2006
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Bleed Like Me

Ok... so it's not exactly BDSM,
but self-mutilation is certainly "alternative lifestyles"....

Shirley Manson cut herself... a lot... as a young woman,
and she sings about it beautifully...

If you don't get a little tingle when she whsipers
"you should see my scars" ... well.........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yfh5jhYsY08

The mother of my daughters, Jane G
was a serious self-mutilater,
so I've had interest, empathy, and appreciation
for self-mutilation for a long, long time.

DD
PS, is Shirley Manson the sexiest woman on the planet?

PSS lyrics below, but really, view the youtube vid

Avalanche is sullen and too thin
She starves herself to rid herself of sin
And the kick is so divine when she sees bones beneath her skin
And she says:
Hey baby can you bleed like me?
C'mon baby can you bleed like me

Chris is all dressed up and acting coy
Painted like a brand new Christmas toy
He's trying to figure out if he's a girl or he's a boy
He says:
Hey baby can you bleed like me?
C'mon baby can you bleed like me

Doodle takes Dad's scissors to her skin
And when she does relief comes setting in
While she hides the scars she's making underneath her pretty clothes
She sings:
Hey baby can you bleed like me?
C'mon baby can you bleed like me

Therapy is Speedie's brand new drug
Dancing with the devil's past has never been too fun
It's better off than trying to take a bullet from a gun
And she cries:
Hey baby can you bleed like me?
C'mon baby can you bleed like me

JT gets all fucked up in some karaoke bar
After two drinks he's a loser after three drinks he's a star
Getting all nostalgic as he sings "I Will Survive"
Hey baby can you bleed like me?
C'mon baby can you bleed like me
Hey baby can you bleed like me?
Oh, c'mon baby can you bleed like me

You should see my scars
You should see my scars
You should see my scars
You should see my scars

And try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend
Try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend
Just try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend
Try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend

You should see my scars
You should see my scars

RE: Self Mutilation Video - 8/26/2006 5:37:50 PM

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Joined: 6/26/2006
Status: offline

Self-mutilation seems incredibly sad to me. It's no better than drugs and alcohol, from my point of view. There is no beauty in the scarring of pretty flesh. It seems a pity someone would resort to that level of.....destruction. Oh well, to each their own. As long as they don't do it around me, I'm happy.

Side note- This is my point of view. I'm not trying to offend anyone. ^.^

_____________________________

I dont wanna
Break these chains
Poison
One look could kill
My pain, your thrill
I want to love you but I better not
Touch
I want to hold you but my senses
Tell me to stop

-Alice Cooper 'Poison'

(in reply to DoctorDubious)

RE: Self Mutilation Video - 8/26/2006 11:32:24 PM

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Joined: 8/4/2006
Status: offline

self mutliation is ususaly a sign of mental illness, I had a friend once who had a very bad problem with it and the secondary infections from not takeing proper care of his cuts landed him in the hospital with a very bad blood infection. It's actualy alot like addition, and while it might be sexy to some people, if someone is a known self mutliator I would encourage them to seek the help of a mental health professional. Also a person who cuts in thier every day life, I would warn against engageing with in play, because...well Sane is a part of play, and I don't know if I'd trust someone who's into self harm to that level to fully express what is to far for them.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to vilify people who self-mutilate, but from first hand experince with my friend it is something it's best to get help from. His self mutliation ususaly came about from long boughts of depression where he'd shut down and cut himself to try to "feel something" again, and kind of jog himself back into life... So I think terming this an "alternative lifestyle" is kind of down playing the seriousness of it...

now people who do ritual scarification for astedics, at the end of a knife yeilded by a licensed professional famaliar with what they are doing, is something completely different. That has an "alternative lifestyle" title, because it's ususaly praticed by people who are into tribalism. the people who willingly participate in scarification are not doing it in an unhealthy manner though, it's more of a right of passage issue/self exploration.

here's some info on self mutliation:
http://www.nmha.org/infoctr/factsheets/selfinjury.cfm

(in reply to greysunnydays)

RE: Self Mutilation Video - 8/26/2006 11:35:14 PM

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Joined: 11/3/2004
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I beat the fucker to scabs, and I think it enhances the overall shock and awe that women feel when they see it, in fact, it has oft been called the Mother of all Behemoths.

FYI.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to formenteralady)

RE: Self Mutilation Video - 8/27/2006 6:46:16 AM

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Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

Every self-mutilator I have ever met (and Im not saying Ive met them all) has also brought to the table an array of such maladaptive behavior patterns that I would find it very difficult to find a song or video about/by someone who engages in that set of behaviors attractive.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to DoctorDubious)

RE: Self Mutilation Video - 8/27/2006 8:44:53 AM

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Joined: 3/9/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Ok... so it's not exactly BDSM,
but self-mutilation is certainly "alternative lifestyles"....

Er, no its not. Thats like trying to claim that rape is the same as "force fantisy".

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(in reply to DoctorDubious)

RE: Self Mutilation Video - 8/29/2006 9:23:14 PM

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Joined: 8/28/2006
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I will post this. I am a cutter. I don't do it all the time, and I always take care of the cuts. Infections and hospitals are not my thing. The control, however, of slow methodical cuts give me a thrill. When I cut, I am controlling my own pain - I am releasing anxiety and rage with the slowness of each cut and I ascend to a higher level of feeling when I cut. I know that a lot of people don't like self-mutilation - but say I were in a submissive role and my Dom/me were flogging me - that's pain and can sometimes break skin. What is the difference other than the fact that when I cut - I control my own pain AND pleasure as opposed to letting someone else control it. Pain and pleasure - two things that people can disagree on a million different ways. *shrugs*

~Lady Lamentia

(in reply to TheHungryTiger)

RE: Self Mutilation Video - 8/29/2006 9:30:55 PM

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Joined: 7/2/2006
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Lamentia, I am the same way when it comes to taking a knife to my own skin but I don't stop at just the cuts, I also enjoy the sight and taste of blood but that will open up an even bigger can of worms. To those who think we are mentally imbalanced should keep in mind that it was until very recently that out whole lifestyle was listen as a mental disorder. There are still many in the medical profession that will tell you to seek professional help for being a sadist, masochist or a sexual deviant.

(in reply to LadyLamentia)

RE: Self Mutilation Video - 8/29/2006 9:35:03 PM

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Joined: 8/4/2006
Status: offline

Sorry, I dont' think you can equate people who cut as a result of a sevear mental disorder with BDSM. The person I mentioned about had a problem he coudln't stop doing, and damn nearly died of. Saying he just had some kind of weird kink is like saying Herion addicts just have a minor substance abuse problem. Perhaps thier is a difference between what the above to posters do and what the mental health association is warning about, but by and large cutting is not the sign of a healthy individual.

(in reply to shadevarr)

RE: Self Mutilation Video - 8/29/2006 9:53:27 PM

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Joined: 3/23/2006
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Cutting is a coping mechanism. Not a very healthy one, for the most part, but that's what it is. It doesn't mean the cutter (or burner, or bruiser, or whatever other injury one is causing to themselves) is sick or insane, simply that they have never learned other, better methods for dealing with stress, pain, abuse, trauma, or strong feelings or emotions. Often it is the ONLY tool they have at the time. Others have other tools, some bad, some good.

I am a cutter, though I have only cut once in the last 12 years. In periods of stress, cutting is something I want to turn to, but I've learned other coping mechanisms, and so far, those have worked before I felt I had to turn to cutting. I don't particularly find beauty or good things in cutting, other than the fact that it kept me from doing more drastic things. I'm not really into pain, even now, except for relatively minor pain. I have enough already, I don't need any more.

I'm not sure that I would refer to cutting as an 'alternative lifestyle', any more than I would refer to anorexia as one. (As someone was was also anorexic, I am pretty familiar with that as well. Yeah, so I had some pretty severe issues, and some that I'm still working on.) But others might feel that way, and that's okay for them.

I do have to sort of agree with LadyLamentia though, how much different is it if you inflict pain on yourself, or you want someone else to inflict it on you?

_____________________________

"I have a mind like a steel trap; it is rusty and illegal in 47 states."
"I'm too young to have Alzheimer's. I have Halfzheimers."

(in reply to LadyLamentia)

RE: Self Mutilation Video - 8/29/2006 10:18:07 PM

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Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline

I would like to commend those who have spoken out and opened up this part to those who read the forums. Cutting is something that is not sociably acceptable it is seen as one with a mental disorder. There are many in the world that think any of us kinksters are sick and twisted.

Anything can be harmful if done to excess. If one subscribes to an activity that gives them satisfaction without causing harm where is the problem?

My kink is not yours, my release from one activity does not give another the same release. We are all wired differently.

I am not a cutter, I will not ever understand the desire to cut, but that does not make it wrong or bad, just different.

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to OriginalWench)

RE: Self Mutilation Video - 8/29/2006 10:35:16 PM

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Joined: 4/22/2006
Status: offline

First of all, i need to say that it has been quiet a while since i've struggled with the obsession or compulsion to cut.. (Thankfully!!).. However, like all things in my life, i do understand if i do not remain diligent in maintaining doing what i need to do for me, that compulsion, obsession, craving, and desire can return in a heartbeat......
Secondly, i must say how much it frustrates me (and i guess hurts) to be "labeled" as anything, simply because before i had a voice to talk about what was occurring in my life, i found a way to cope...i can not regret this coping mechanism because frankly there have been too many times in my past when i realized that it was the only thing that kept me from attempting suicide...
i guess, i fail to understand why some people need to make themselves feel better by judging and/or labeling others...that has been a concept that i've never been able to comprehend.
by the way, i'm not sure how anyone else would feel about this but the whole "tattooing" issue has always been a source of contention for me...because for too long it has appeared to me to look like a socially acceptable form of self mutilation...i mean really how is it any different.....

(in reply to Owned1)

RE: Self Mutilation Video - 8/30/2006 9:34:34 AM

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I enjoyed the video and the song itself. Thanks DD.

Ok, since I am on another computer, and can't figure out how to quote here, in reply to wantitnow, on the tattooing thing, and this can go for any form of self mutilation or in some instances self expression, it depends on the reasoning behind it. For me, the idea of cutting/ tattooing/ branding/ scarification/ piercing is no different than say, bottoming to the point of scars. (Yes, have some I do.) Only I do think people should be more aware of the permanance of such actions and be set on the design they wish to have before pursuing such activities. Will you be happy with the tattoo or scar 20 years down the line?

Anyway, before I go off on a tangent, I think the question should be, why is the activity done, not is the activity healthy. For some it is self expression, masochism, and spiritual advancement, not a coping mechanism, hence minor body modification becoming a socially acceptable practice, because most of the people getting them are perfectly healthy individuals. Do I believe cutters should get help? Yes. Will that stop me from wondering what it feels like to have a knife slicing through my skin, and when I get the sterile field necessary to do it, to do it? No. I am a masochist after all :P

_____________________________

Living the Dichotomy

Painslut? How about "Endorphin Junkie"?

For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

(in reply to wantitnow569)

RE: Self Mutilation Video - 8/30/2006 1:55:09 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

I don't see self injury as a "alternative lifestyle' or even remotely sexy. And I find a lot of things that are way out there sexy.

I've been fighting with self injury since I was 13. Most people are supposed to grow out of it when they get out of adolecence, but I wasn't lucky enough to. I'm not sure that I agree that self-injury is, in and of itself, a mental illness. However, it's often the symptom of a deeper problem.

I'm frustrated by the prevelence of self injury these days that's done in a very....god, I dunno...almost as a reaction to peer pressure to do it.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to Slipstreme)

RE: Self Mutilation Video - 8/30/2006 2:07:28 PM

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Joined: 5/11/2005
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scars..blah I prefer being without them..but all the ones I have gained are either from surgeries..stitches here n there and then just plain accidents..and I think I will just keep it that way, self harm is not me(except accidentally and sometime ppl might actually think i was trying to hurt myself lol)

and I can't say self-harming is a lifestyle but more like being stuck in a life-crisis

< Message edited by MissyRane -- 8/30/2006 2:11:45 PM >

(in reply to perverseangelic)

RE: Self Mutilation Video - 8/31/2006 5:53:40 AM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DoctorDubious

Ok... so it's not exactly BDSM,
but self-mutilation is certainly "alternative lifestyles"....

I'm not going to be able to agree with you on that one, Doc.

quote:

PS, is Shirley Manson the sexiest woman on the planet?

I thought she was one of them...about ten minutes ago. Before this, I would have happily made some sort of witty comment about how desirable anyone with a pulse and an interest in women would find her. She sang about it beautifully and that is part of what is causing me to lose some sleep now as I'm working through this. I am having trouble with this concept and beauty together.

I've seen a lot of things about self-injury this month and as much as I'd like to turn away, I have to look. Like you, I've had a cutter in my life and it is tough sometimes to think about it. Tough isn't the word, I can't think of what the correct one is for what I'm feeling. Maybe I'll have to settle on confused.

The more of it I saw and the more of it I see now, the less positive I view it. This was not a healthy thing in her life and honestly, without trying to judge why others do it and all other assorted disclaimers, I can not see someone cutting themselves as a positive behavior. Intellectually, I understand self-injury about as well as one can without having done it themselves. Emotionally, I am very glad I do not understand this.

It isn't because the woman I'm talking about didn't make so many healthy strides. She was a very different person from the first time I met her to the last time I saw her. I think, at last I knew, she was down to a relapse every 6-12 months which was pretty damn good progress and she had made excellent strides in other areas of her life. Hell, there are areas in my life that I wished I improved at that rate.

I have seen her scars -- ones just like 'em. Although the video was pretty tame for the subject, if you may be sensitive to this sort of thing and can turn away, I'd suggest considering it. I would have, if I was able.

For those of you who have talked about it in this thread and the others that have popped up here, overall the posts have been positive and shown progress away from this behavior. I thank those of you who had a positive message and posted about it, it has made the subject easier for me to handle. I appreciate it and I give you all my best wishes that things continue to get better.

I'm proud of her, I'm proud of her doing the work to make herself healthier and I'm proud of the ways that I helped by just being there for her when she needed a break from a therapy session, a joke to make her smile and someone to celebrate a good day with. It may sound negative from this description but it wasn't, we really brought out the best in each other most of the time so I don't have much in the way of regrets. The cutting was only one visible symptom of a larger issue. Things certainly were difficult at times but positive.

While part of me thinks this thread may have had a little bit of positive impact overall for the readers, I can't bring myself to say or think anything in the way of kudos for you, Doc. This one hit a little to close to home tonight. If you are reading this though, I have a feeling that you'll understand what I mean by it.

Joe

(in reply to DoctorDubious)

RE: Self Mutilation Video - 9/3/2006 1:00:54 PM

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i'm new here to collarme. i have a 13 yr old daughter who is emotionally disturbed, often depressed, probably manic and the most giving and kind person i know. The way she copes with stress is either by cutting or starving. She says she often feels guilty when the people in her life are not happy, and those two coping skills are what helps her. (yes, she is under a therspist's care) It's not a lifestyle to her; it's a way to get through the day without thinking of ways to end her life. They are not necessarily good coping skills, but until we find more appropriate ones that will work for her, that's what she does. She is not mentally sick; she's just got more worries than she can deal with.
i suppose cutting could be viewed as a lifestyle if one was scarring his/her body in a pattern of some sort.

(in reply to JustaDom)

RE: Self Mutilation Video - 9/3/2006 9:06:24 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Owned1

I would like to commend those who have spoken out and opened up this part to those who read the forums. Cutting is something that is not sociably acceptable it is seen as one with a mental disorder. There are many in the world that think any of us kinksters are sick and twisted.

Anything can be harmful if done to excess. If one subscribes to an activity that gives them satisfaction without causing harm where is the problem?

My kink is not yours, my release from one activity does not give another the same release. We are all wired differently.

I am not a cutter, I will not ever understand the desire to cut, but that does not make it wrong or bad, just different.

Owned

Boy, this is taking bending over backwards to be non judgemental to a new level. I would bet that just about anybody who does cut themselves would love to stop if they could. The cutting is a symptom of an actual problem. Nobody cuts themselves because things are great. I don't have a problem saying that cutting yourself is a bad thing to do.

< Message edited by Estring -- 9/3/2006 9:13:50 PM >

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(in reply to Owned1)

RE: Self Mutilation Video - 9/4/2006 7:00:04 AM

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Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

I wont look at the video - I'm in the UK and will be getting three years in prison next year if those images are found on my hard drive.

I have three scars on my left arm. They are there because it is the only way I can find to expiate the rage I sometimes feel - not anger, not a bit pissed off, but blinding rage where the world turns into reds of all hues. I blame my Germanic heritage and maybe I'd be better off as a 9th century berserker in some Viking army than living in an overcrowded island with the most stupid people on earth all around me.

Its maybe not healthy, but its a lot better than doing a life sentence for exercising that rage on the person who brought it about, and its a lot cheaper than replacing broken furniture. Thankfully it doesnt happen often, but it brings release and allows me to return to normal rather than carry that rage around with me. People might say that I am sick, that I need treatment etc. However I have my treatment, and its a lot more effective than pills. I'd also say that rage is a natural emotion to feel from time to time - its those that dont show it that worry me - when and how they will blow.

And by the way, cutting oneself does not necessarily make one dangerous to others; the whole point is that one will not harm others because one directs the anger at oneself.

E

(in reply to Estring)

RE: Self Mutilation Video - 9/4/2006 1:09:20 PM

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quote:

I wont look at the video - I'm in the UK and will be getting three years in prison next year if those images are found on my hard drive.

The video itself is tame. There is no cutting involved, and without the music, you really can't know what the video is talking about. It looks like a nurse and a bunch of labcoatted scientists mucking about.

_____________________________

Living the Dichotomy

Painslut? How about "Endorphin Junkie"?

For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

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