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RE: Online Subs - 8/30/2006 10:24:15 AM

ARGENTEAGLE

Posts: 8
Joined: 8/28/2006
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Thank you all for your feedback. This has really made me think. I posted another post in the ask a master section and I wanted to post a follow up here so there isnt any confusion. (there rest is coppied from the other post, slightly edited so it makes more sense here.)

Some of the responses that I got from this post made me think. My wife and I had a very long conversation the other night. I told her that having a dom/sub relationship was an important fantasy for me and that I really didn't want to confuse my own emotions by having a seperate relationship online. I laid out what I wanted from the relationship and she didn't really have a problem with any of it other than the idea of having no control over herself. At one point she actually agreed to enter into a dom/sub relationship but she starting getting very anxious about it afterwards. So I did some thinking about what it is I really wanted, and what I found was that I didn't need her submission, but her willingness. I wanted her to do the things I asked not because of an agreement she had made, but because she loved me and wanted to make me happy. She was fine with that. and actually wanted it to be this way. We agreed that she has the right to say no at any time but she won't unless she feels it will hurt her or hurt our relationship. I know that this is the exact same agreement that most dom/sub relationships have it's just that we have chosen to define it a different way. And a rose by any other name.... Another important distinction between the arrangement we have made and most dom/sub relationships is that she is free to ask me to do anything she wants and I have agreed to not say no the same way she has. So I guess we could be defined as a switch couple I guess. The thing is she is pretty tame and I'll probably be the one on top most of the time. This makes us both very happy and it has already showed in an extreme increase in affection between us.

(in reply to babyboyk)

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RE: Online Subs - 8/30/2006 10:35:02 AM

withthesewings

Posts: 29
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

That's awesome. I hope it works out and you will both be happy. :)

(in reply to ARGENTEAGLE)

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Post #: 22

RE: Online Subs - 8/30/2006 4:40:28 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ARGENTEAGLE

Thank you all for your feedback. This has really made me think. I posted another post in the ask a master section and I wanted to post a follow up here so there isnt any confusion. (there rest is coppied from the other post, slightly edited so it makes more sense here.)

Some of the responses that I got from this post made me think. My wife and I had a very long conversation the other night. I told her that having a dom/sub relationship was an important fantasy for me and that I really didn't want to confuse my own emotions by having a seperate relationship online. I laid out what I wanted from the relationship and she didn't really have a problem with any of it other than the idea of having no control over herself. At one point she actually agreed to enter into a dom/sub relationship but she starting getting very anxious about it afterwards. So I did some thinking about what it is I really wanted, and what I found was that I didn't need her submission, but her willingness. I wanted her to do the things I asked not because of an agreement she had made, but because she loved me and wanted to make me happy. She was fine with that. and actually wanted it to be this way. We agreed that she has the right to say no at any time but she won't unless she feels it will hurt her or hurt our relationship. I know that this is the exact same agreement that most dom/sub relationships have it's just that we have chosen to define it a different way. And a rose by any other name.... Another important distinction between the arrangement we have made and most dom/sub relationships is that she is free to ask me to do anything she wants and I have agreed to not say no the same way she has. So I guess we could be defined as a switch couple I guess. The thing is she is pretty tame and I'll probably be the one on top most of the time. This makes us both very happy and it has already showed in an extreme increase in affection between us.

>>sniff..sniff...tear<< I just love happy endings :)

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(in reply to ARGENTEAGLE)

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Post #: 23

RE: Online Subs - 8/30/2006 5:52:19 PM

Owned1

Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline

I honestly think this is the path that will lead you to the place you want to go. You maybe plesantly surprised and find you have just what you are looking for in your own yard.

Good Luck and all the best in your new path

Owned

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RE: Online Subs - 8/31/2006 6:22:25 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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I admit when i read your first post i was afraid this would hurt you existing relationship. i am glad it worked out well for you both best of luck.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to Owned1)

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Post #: 25

RE: Online Subs - 8/31/2006 11:40:26 AM

Sunshine119

Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

Wow!

I'm really impressed. When I first opened this, I was going to suggest you help her to really understand the ramifications of an on-line relationship, including all the emotional attachment components that would be impossible to control. Now, I'm extremely happy that you have chosen this path. Only one word of caution.....take it slow, very, very slow.

You might want to introduce her to castlerealm.com . It is all sort of nice and romantic without much of the S&M overtones. She might get really into the fantasy.

Good luck. Let us know how it progresses!

Sunshine

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(in reply to ARGENTEAGLE)

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Post #: 26

RE: Online Subs - 8/31/2006 1:28:14 PM

babysburnin

Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
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Isn't honest communication surprisingly productive? I agree that you have made a better decision than what was your original solution. Just take it slow ...

I suggest that your wife read these messages boards for a month or so to get a feel of the varying types of personalities, then participate in the discussions if she likes.

She'd probably be pleased to know that many of us were concerned for both of you and your relationship together. As a whole, we are a supportive group ... pretty amazing really.

< Message edited by babysburnin -- 8/31/2006 1:36:09 PM >

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RE: Online Subs - 8/31/2006 7:27:23 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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quote:

My wife and I had a very long conversation the other night.

I'm so glad you worked something out to satisfy both of you.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

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RE: Online Subs - 9/1/2006 3:29:39 PM

Shalyn

Posts: 55
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: TN
Status: offline

Yes, Im glad that you and her were able to talk things thru and it sounds like that was the best things to do. I just feel like when a married person gets involved with an online relationship, it kind of messes with the emotions. I know many of us have had online relationships and Im not against them at all. Im looking for one now however Im not married. I just think it is really good that you were able to work this thru with your wife. Who knows where this could lead the both of you

(in reply to proudsub)

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Post #: 29