Suleiman
Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline
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This is really one of those "Your Mileage May Vary" sorts of deals. I am of the opinion that the best sorts of dominants are those that have some experience as bottoms. There are advantages to this. You become familiar with what the actual sensations are from various toys. You have a better idea of how uncomfortable or difficult a particular form of bondage is. These two factors help a lot where safety is concerned, and also help you as a dominant decide how far you are going to go. It's also a good idea, in my opinion, to at least try switching a few times just to find out if this is something that you enjoy. Denying your inner nature is kind of contra-indicated by embracing an alternative lifestyle, IMHO.
What bottoming can not do, however, is give you experience as a dominant. It is a useful foundation for dealing with submissives, by giving you a baseline impression of what they are experiencing, but it will require patience, experience, and empathy of a wholly different sort for you to keep control of the scene and to actually be the dominant partner.
Learning to be dominant from a submissive partner can work, I have known of instances where it did, but for the most part you really want to find an experienced dominant to act as your mentor - not your dominant, but your advisor and teacher. Having an experienced submissive is extraordinarily helpful, however, since they can often suggest ways to improve your technique, or warn you about pitfalls in whatever games you have been playing. Also, it's just helpful if at least one person in the party knows the rules of the game, rather than having two inexperienced players fumbling about trying to figure out what the score is. Besides - if you're new to the scene, especially if you're into heavy pain play or severe bondage, having someone who you can trust to actually USE their safeword if there's a problem can be a real sanity-saver. Nothing kills the romance like a trip to the emergency room.
Any way, them's my two bits. Sorry if I seem a little incoherent, it's five in the morning where I am right now, and I'm a little crispy.
Good luck.
~S
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Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.
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Did being a switch make it easier to learn and become m... - 
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