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Switch/Switch - 8/29/2006 3:50:33 PM

LotusSong

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Is the ideal pairing for Switch another Switch?

If you want a Master/Mistress that does not switch.. why would that be?

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RE: Switch/Switch - 8/29/2006 6:41:53 PM

MasterFireMaam

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In my opinion, that pairing would only work if both were monogamous in nature. Usually, in my eyes, being a switch is rather like being bi: you are poly by default.

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RE: Switch/Switch - 8/29/2006 7:31:35 PM

GeekFreak

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To the above: Odd...I never felt i needed to be Poly. Of course I've always been into monogomy, so I may not relate. =)

As for the original poster...hmm...I think often a switch with a switch works well. While I'm more often in a dominant mood, there are times it is nice to be tied and taken advantage of. It would be great to experience both. However...I could also see it being hard because both partners would need to be in compatible moods (unless both were always in either mood). Would be interesting to see two switches who both felt like dominating at the same time hehe. That's why I could see switches just being with a dom or sub (especially if they sway more towards one end than the other). I think, speaking for myself, I could be very satisfied with just a submissive female. Sure I might get the urge from time to time to be tied up, but maybe I could dom her to do it? =P Really, though, I'd just supress that side and be happy with what I had found and how wonderful it was. BDSM is only a facet of who I am and my love for a person. No one can meet every desire in every way.

< Message edited by GeekFreak -- 8/29/2006 7:33:13 PM >

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RE: Switch/Switch - 8/29/2006 8:22:54 PM

WyrdRich

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        I don't know about an "ideal pairing" but two switches works very well for the wife and I.

       Reading the posts in here over a period of time though, we seem to be a minority. Many seem to be uncomfortable with changing roles with the same person.

       As for the mood thing, both feeling Dominant, that is easy... Wrestling Match!!!

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RE: Switch/Switch - 8/29/2006 9:44:51 PM

shadevarr

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The dynamics of switch/switch are great if that is what you want, it is a pretty wild ride and can be quite rewarding. I do not see how being bi or a switch gives you an inclination to being polyamorous.

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RE: Switch/Switch - 8/30/2006 4:34:24 AM

Lashra

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My sub and I used to switch and we are totally monogamous. I think a switch most likely would fit in better with another switch that way their needs are being met rather then having to deny that part of themselves.

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RE: Switch/Switch - 8/30/2006 7:25:42 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam
In my opinion, that pairing would only work if both were monogamous in nature. Usually, in my eyes, being a switch is rather like being bi: you are poly by default.

Master Fire

Which isn't necessarily true- plenty of bisexuals and switches ae happily monogamous.

As to the OP- it depends. Some switches do not ever want to switch with the same person in the same relationship. They can't change the energy flow and be happy in the dynamic. They need other people to switch with.

Some switches however do enjoy switching within the same relationship and can enjoy the energy flowing both ways- this is how it is with my older partner.

So the best partner for a switch is someone who fits what the switch needs and wants in their life.

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RE: Switch/Switch - 8/30/2006 7:35:05 AM

LotusSong

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Does a switch ever feel they do not want another partner that switches and why not?

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RE: Switch/Switch - 8/30/2006 7:43:15 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Does a switch ever feel they do not want another partner that switches and why not?

As I said in my reply:
Some switches do not ever want to switch with the same person in the same relationship. They can't change the energy flow and be happy in the dynamic. They need other people to switch with.

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RE: Switch/Switch - 8/30/2006 8:02:01 AM

LotusSong

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Does a switch ever feel they do not want another partner that switches and why not?

As I said in my reply:
Some switches do not ever want to switch with the same person in the same relationship. They can't change the energy flow and be happy in the dynamic. They need other people to switch with.

And my QUESTION is this...do Switches.. when choosing another partner.. not the same in the prelationship;. ever seek a NON switch... and why?

While switches say they can experience each role they choose fully.. even if the switch partner would conceed to be only one or the other to them.. would they still see that person as the role they want them to be if they knew the person would do the opposite with ANOTHER person?

How's that?

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RE: Switch/Switch - 8/30/2006 8:02:17 AM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Is the ideal pairing for Switch another Switch?

If you want a Master/Mistress that does not switch.. why would that be?

I can only speak for myself in this regard but I would have to say no. I switch and typically do so with women. Under no circumstances would I bottom for the other party. It just doesn't feel natural for me. On the other hand I am more inclined to submit to a male dominant. Yet, I have no desire to have him serve me in the same vain. I prefer to keep those elements separate. My personality is too dominate. It would definitely alter the energy current in an unpleasant way.

In regard to the poly statement, I can only share myself. I don't usually wish to share my partner and I'm very monogamous in nature. For every rule there's an exception.

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RE: Switch/Switch - 8/30/2006 8:06:05 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
And my QUESTION is this...do Switches.. when choosing another partner.. not the same in the prelationship;. ever seek a NON switch... and why?

Because it's what works for them and what they need. One of my friends is a switch but is owned by her master. They never switch with eachother. They enjoy having that primary relationship solidly fixed between eachother and it is how they work together.

quote:

While switches say they can experience each role they choose fully.. even if the switch partner would conceed to be only one or the other to them.. would they still see that person as the role they want them to be if they knew the person would do the opposite with ANOTHER person?

How's that?

The ones in long term happy relationships I know of are find with it. Because it doesn't matter what they do with others, it matters that everyone is fulfilled and the dynamics between eachother are working well.

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RE: Switch/Switch - 8/30/2006 8:25:00 AM

LotusSong

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OK.. let me see if I got this right~

A switch needs to switch and finds fullfillment in both roles
But, there are times that a switch needs to have anolther partner that does not switch.

Now why is this?

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RE: Switch/Switch - 8/30/2006 8:33:22 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
A switch needs to switch and finds fullfillment in both roles

But that doesn't mean a switch needs to switch within the SAME relationship, nor that a switch needs to be IN a relationship as a switch.

quote:

But, there are times that a switch needs to have anolther partner that does not switch.

Now why is this?

Because it's what works for them, they prefer that solidity and structure, it's how their relationship formed, they don't feel right switching with that person.

Unfortunately your question seems to be like asking "Why are you monogamous?" It's just how people are oriented and what works for them.

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RE: Switch/Switch - 8/30/2006 8:37:33 AM

Aine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

OK.. let me see if I got this right~

A switch needs to switch and finds fullfillment in both roles
But, there are times that a switch needs to have anolther partner that does not switch.

Now why is this?

Being a switch that is with a switch....I can't say on personal experience. But perhaps I can venture a guess.

I think from what I've seen and who I've talked to, myself included going on time previous to my current relationship, that it truly depends on who that person gets involved with on certain levels. In speaking and getting close to many Doms, subs and slaves and a few switches, it all depends (as far as I can tell) on the personality compatibility of the non-switch they are getting close to. It may start out as a friendship, it may stay as a close friendship, it may progress into more. But that doesn't change the way that that non-switch makes them feel once it gets to that point. It may be that that non-switch makes them feel so strongly either sub or Dom/me that it just ends up working for them.

And if it turns into a relationship that they were not actively searching for in the first place, they may stay that way, they may eventually come to an agreement on either someone for them to switch on, or a poly relationship.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it can come down to chance. I can't say for those that actively SEEK a non-switch, they'll have to answer that themselves. But if it happens by chance, it's all in how that person makes them feel.

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RE: Switch/Switch - 8/30/2006 6:16:32 PM

GeekFreak

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

OK.. let me see if I got this right~

A switch needs to switch and finds fullfillment in both roles
But, there are times that a switch needs to have anolther partner that does not switch.

Now why is this?

I'd disagree with the "a switch needs to switch part". I think for some it's a "I can if I want, but don't need to" or a "I'd like to certainly, but can be happy with one role and not switching as well"

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RE: Switch/Switch - 9/1/2006 7:48:21 AM

Queenalice

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

OK.. let me see if I got this right~

A switch needs to switch and finds fullfillment in both roles
But, there are times that a switch needs to have anolther partner that does not switch.

Now why is this?

Again, only from my own expeirence, Being a switch involved with a switch, we switch for eachother. I am not the quite masochist that is needed for M/my partner's occasional Domminate whims for pain play, although I do meet all other needs she has for a submissive. (Or so She tells me

) That said, when she, in her Domme headspace, has the desire to "beat the tar out of someone in a happy fun way," We seek out a fitting submissive who is inclined to need/invite/desire such attentions. We have no inclination to switch for them, as it is not needed for anyone involved.

I really hope this makes close to as much sense in a post as it does in my head.

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RE: Switch/Switch - 9/1/2006 8:50:38 AM

kitty2MLoneWolf

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I have never played with switches simply due to the fact that I dont switch in individual relationships. I am either the Domme or I am the submissive. I dont need confusion over who is going to be what in any given situation.

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RE: Switch/Switch - 9/7/2006 2:02:37 PM

Nuke718

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Thanks to Luck for this "So the best partner for a switch is someone who fits what the switch needs and wants in their life."

Like kitty, I don't switch inside a relationship. Or at least I have not yet to this point (the closest is a woman who I can have vanilla sex with, or we can have BDsM play where she is the Dominant). Could happen, but I usually only relate to a given woman one way.

I mostly seek out single role people, but am open to switches that will only play a certain role in our relationship. As far as "needing" somebody to be a role, I just don't.

N

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RE: Switch/Switch - 9/8/2006 11:37:57 AM

TNstepsout

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Some people have stated before that they CAN NOT switch with the same person. They just can't get into the mindset required to change roles with the same person. Therefore those people prefer to have multiple partners with which they express their different aspects. Those partners could be Doms/subs or switches, BUT within that particular relationship the switch takes only one role. It's less about what the person is (Dom, sub or switch) but the role they adopt within the relationship and the way the two relate.

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