RE: working within multiple dynamics

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: working within multiple dynamics

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: working within multiple dynamics

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: working within multiple dynamics - 9/17/2006 4:37:36 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

In a situation that you describe, the slave listening to the sub being given choices while she is not, there are many things going on. Since the sub is wife, he spends most of his time with her and simply may not be interested in micromanaging 24/7. So they've agreed they need new dishes and he tells her to pick whatever she likes. This doesn't mean that he didn't research the cost and give her a price not to go beyond, it could just be that he doesn't care if they have blue polka dot borders or red peonies decorating the bottom of the soup bowls.

There's also the fact that he does this deliberately in front of the part time slave. This may be to remind her of her place, that she is lower in the hierarchy then his wife/sub is. He may only be interested in micromanaging her when it comes to body service for him or sex. Therefore he tells her to buy a white garter belt and not a pink one because this matters to him.

Even with slaves, there are times when owners just don't care. I know when he says he's working late, he doesn't care what is served for dinner as long as it can be reheated the moment he walks into the house. This has nothing to do with my negotiating rights, just with how tired he is.

(in reply to raiken)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: working within multiple dynamics - 9/17/2006 5:39:21 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Under that definition I am a slave...Ha Ha...and I identify as a submissive. I do so basically because the one thing that I have noted is that slaves claim they cannot leave no matter what...the will to leave is gone.. no matter how they are treated or what happens to them. Not that they will ever be treated poorly and not that they did not choose their master wisely. I could never say that I give up that little corner of my psyche that leaves if I felt abused and if someone was making decisions that negatively impacted me I would leave... at this point anyways.. in 5 years I may have a different mindset.

I just noticed this post. I am a slave and if the relationship were to become harmful for me, I would leave. He would expect nothing less and the same goes for him. For us, the most important thing is to protect our well-beings and we know without doubt that we will do that.

Just thought I would throw that out there to muddy up the waters even more *g*

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: working within multiple dynamics - 9/18/2006 9:58:51 AM

Mavis

Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

In a situation that you describe, the slave listening to the sub being given choices while she is not, there are many things going on. the sub is wife, he spends most of his time with her and simply may not be interested in micromanaging 24/7. So they've agreed they need new dishes and he tells her to pick whatever she likes. This doesn't mean that he didn't research the cost and give her a price not to go beyond, it could just be that he doesn't care if they have blue polka dot borders or red peonies decorating the bottom of the soup bowls.

There's also the fact that he does this deliberately in front of the part time slave. This may be to remind her of her place, that she is lower in the hierarchy then his wife/sub is.

Yes, you've got it.. and i see the "many things" and appreciate how delicately He's balancing them. He makes sure we both see His dynamic with the other, it redefines our places and gives us each security in our spot.

He also does this in front on my Hubby who is learning how to deal with me in a D/s way, and He'll point out that His directives to me as a slave might be worded this way, but to His sub, might be phrased differently. He takes pains to model D/s dynamics that would apply between Hubby and i.

Since this thread was begun long ago.. i was initially wondering if O/others who cross dynamics could tell me if there was planning and forethought involved, or if it just comes natural to some. Obviously with new data recieved since then, i'm leaning in the direction of "forethought and planning", which only makes me appreciate it all the more.

(in reply to Celeste43)

Profile

Post #: 23