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psychology of bdsm? - 9/11/2006 12:26:42 PM

rahvenga

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Joined: 6/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

Well, "the Psychology of BDSM" shows up as a topic for the lectures fairly regularly but for some reason those are always the weekends that life gets in the way. I doubt switches would be on the lesson plan anyway.

From what I've seen, the pop psych model of Doms as people frustrated by a lack of power in day to day life and subs as powerful people who need to release control is pretty much crap anyway. I just go with what feels right to me and I hit the lottery finding a woman whose tastes run right along the same track.

I picked this from another thread (Outed as a switch), but it was buried so I thought I'd post it again.

I wonder if anyone has anything interesting to say about this, because more and more, I think most experts just simplify matters of the heart.

For me, I think my switchiness comes from the fact that as a person, I have some stereotypically male traits (I like being "the decider") and some female traits (I like talking about feelings, I like helping/nuturing). I don't mean to be sexist, but I think it's just a fact of our culture right now that male traits tend to overlap with dominant traits, and female with submissive. I guess I like to play with gender roles, I don't want to actually be female or cross-dress, but it's fun to not be an aggressive male sometimes. There's also some curiosity for me, I like being dominated just to see what it's like, to see what women experience when they are with me.

Anyway, this is either my first or second post, but I thought I'd share.

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RE: psychology of bdsm? - 9/11/2006 1:07:27 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Well, while I do delight in playing with stereotypes and expectations, including those based on gender and orientation- that's not why I am a switch. For me it's completely internal and just how I happen to form certain relationships with certain people.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: psychology of bdsm? - 9/11/2006 4:06:33 PM

GeekFreak

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Joined: 4/24/2006
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Well for me, it's power exchange in general that is a turn on. I never even considered as a teenager that someone wouldn't want to try both ends of the spectrum...because to me someone having power over another person was arousing.

As for the psychology...oh...hard to say...I've always wondered, but never known for sure. Maybe it's because as a child I was never punished in any way. Maybe it's related to the creative part of me who loves make believe, acting, and fantasy. Or maybe it has to do with the fact that I'm very analytical, always wanting everything mentally organized, and having one person in control makes it easier to have everything "in order". Maybe it's because my father was the supreme head of the household, but I have great anomosity towards him, so I was trained a leader is a good thing, but the male gender being the leader is not necessary to me as I never respected him. I would assume that it's a combination of all these things and many others that made me a BDSM switch...I find it easier just to say "I'm me" because then I know my definition is always right and I need no explanation to explain that type of title.

< Message edited by GeekFreak -- 9/11/2006 4:09:35 PM >

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RE: psychology of bdsm? - 9/11/2006 8:15:58 PM

queen4you

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hello are u there si any one there want to chat my id is [email protected] let talk there okay so that wecan get to no each other okay

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RE: psychology of bdsm? - 9/11/2006 8:30:17 PM

queen4you

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can we talk at yahoo my id is [email protected]

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RE: psychology of bdsm? - 9/11/2006 8:38:30 PM

WyrdRich

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There are chatrooms available on this site queen. Trolling in the forums is generally considered bad form (and against the TOS).

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RE: psychology of bdsm? - 9/12/2006 12:24:43 PM

GeekFreak

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

There are chatrooms available on this site queen. Trolling in the forums is generally considered bad form (and against the TOS).

I got a random message from that same account the other day. Reading the profile makes it pretty apparent that it's going to be an attempt to swindle money from someone. :)

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