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RE: On training - 9/13/2006 4:37:50 AM

KatyLied

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I agree with what you said. There is not universal "training". To me it's just another silly lifestyle word. How can one person "train" you for another? I think for many, it's a shield to use when all they want from a sub is an encounter.

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RE: On training - 9/13/2006 6:11:13 AM

happypervert

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From: Scranton, PA
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quote:

It seems these "training" types take themselves pretty seriously.

heh, yeah, but then that is the game -- act all full of yourself because you have all this valuable knowledge you are offering to bestow upon some poor, helpless little subbie, and then expect her to drop to her knees in awe and kiss your feet out of gratitude for being chosen for that honor.

The problem is that anyone who has such universal knowledge and skills to really be a trainer is also likely to be so well known and in demand in his local community that his dance card would be full, so he wouldn't need to troll the internet looking for vict . . . er . . . students.

Ultimately, I see these "trainers" as a response to a number of clueless gals out there who are seeking to be trained because anything can seem like training to someone who knows nothing and has no common sense. And it is a pragmatic way to establish a power imbalance even if it is merely one where a dope is leading someone dumb enough to follow.

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RE: On training - 9/13/2006 6:17:05 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I agree with what you said. There is not universal "training". To me it's just another silly lifestyle word. How can one person "train" you for another? I think for many, it's a shield to use when all they want from a sub is an encounter.

Someone I know fairly well likes to *mentor or train*......mostly it translates to having a bevvy of young girls looking adoringly at him, without having to commit himself to any of them. If things get too fraught or tricky, he can quietly *pass*. (That's me being faintly cynical) The ones he tends to focus on are always *new*.

In some ways they get to *feel* what its like to be gently controlled and guided in a rather innocuous way. This are just my observations.

He gets something from it, they get someone to look up to and follow and he's actually a rather nice person in lots of ways, though I don't view him as a *Dom*, personally.

agirl

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RE: On training - 9/13/2006 6:24:48 AM

Aubre

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If you don't respond to them, perhaps you are providing needed "training" to them on how to approach someone.

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RE: On training - 9/13/2006 7:13:59 AM

MasterFireMaam

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Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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Missy,

I agree with your post when it comes to SM play and technique and somewhat for sex. However, this isn't true for service.

Sex: Most people haven't a clue how to "really" get me off...and not many people will know without me telling them the things I like and don't like. I have to "train" them (i.e. share information) about these things. Sex is a hell of a lot more than me doing them (in which case they are the canvas).

Service: Again, most people aren't going to know exactly how I like my house cleaned or how I take my tea. Again, I have to train them.

But, truly, the masochist can be the canvas for the sadist (note I don't specify Dom or sub, Master or slave here). And what beautiful canvases they can be!

Master Fire

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RE: On training - 9/13/2006 7:27:51 AM

amayos

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From: New England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

If you are beating someone, or putting them through the paces of intense orgasms, they WILL respond. We who bottom or submit are merely canvasses on which a top displays his talents. Our response is colored by the implements you choose to use, to get your idea across. We are art. The top is the artist.

With that in mind, very few canvasses need to be trained to be a canvas. But the ARTIST whose talents are displayed, must train to learn his craft. I think the idea of training is backward. I am the canvas. I will be colored according to your design. The top is the artist who must learn to paint. [/size][/font]

It is true; the painter must have vision, master of technique, and choose his or her implements with care, but this is not to say the canvas appears without effort. How blank of a canvas can a slave make herself for that painting, and how cured will the image rendered upon her become?

Stepping outside of that analogy, perhaps you will agree there are levels of depth in such relationships which exceed simple measurement of how well one responds to beatings and paces of orgasm, where likening the experience of the slave to the passivity of a canvas is not so accurate. Being completely obedient to the will of another is not a characteristic that is easily attained.

However, if one describes their world in mere terms of top and bottom, perhaps this analogy does fit. From my point of view, there's more to it than that. There is great effort involved simply in seeing that trying not to struggle is inherently a contradiction.

< Message edited by amayos -- 9/13/2006 8:10:47 AM >

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RE: On training - 9/13/2006 7:37:41 AM

thetammyjo

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Missokyst, since you have a lot of experience the only training I could think they might be offering is

1) play under the guise of training to limit the chances of a relationship developing

2) they are actually interested in you as a partner but are wary thus they offer training as a way to feel each other out

In terms of reactions to SM or bondage play, inexperienced people may not know how to react. They may not realize that how one breathings, how tense one's muscles all, the position, all of these affect the sensations. If they are really inexperienced they might now know when something feels wrong or how to communicate that.

In terms of Ds training may be more getting to know how a particular dominant wants things done. That's going to change with each person.

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RE: On training - 9/13/2006 8:17:12 AM

Dnomyar

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Look at any training by a Mentor as basic training. A Dom, Domme or Master can complete your training to mold you into their desires.

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