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RE: First Meeting - 9/15/2006 8:03:29 PM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I guess from my perspective the few dates I had with other dominants that I never involved myself with were not exactly "fun". I talked to them on the phone and a few emails, they lived in my area so why wait terribly long to meet? I do not let almost complete strangers suggest to me what I should wear... we meet, we talk, we exchange pleasantries, and most likely nothing will come of it. Or like with my Daddy, I think I may have asked him what he liked a female to wear, but he never commanded me on the subject...BTW, I am partial to jeans and a blouse or shorts and a tanktop and a cup of java for a first date situation... it just is so much less pressure on everyone...

I guess the way I learned D/s is that a submissive should jealously guard what she offers and not give it to just any old body.. I am not suggesting mine is the only way, but I kinda have looked out for myself most of my life, and I am very used to doing so.. looking out for me means I make the rules until I trust somebody... even about a little thing like attire

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

RE: First Meeting - 9/15/2006 10:40:06 PM

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

FR:

Well here's my most recent story.

There's a guy in Boston I've known in the scene for a few years. We've got a lot of interconnections between us, we've seen eachother at parties and conventions and chat at them fairly casually. One convention we finally feel a connection and decide to play- and have a truly delightful time.

A few months later, he's coming to town and asks me on a date- our first real one on one date. I myself asked if he had any wardrobe preferences, partly because I like dressing up, and partly because I wanted to set that particular tone for the evening. He told me what he wanted, I pretty much already had the whole ensemble and dressed in that.

He loved it, I enjoyed doing it and we had a great time and continue to be close.

So, if it's a special date with someone with them having the authority, I have no problem having them choose the outfit.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: First Meeting - 9/16/2006 6:35:42 AM

Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline

I wouldn't let a Dom dictate my outfit if I was meeting him for the first time, no. I would choose my clothing to fit in with wherever we were going to meet. As a matter of pride and polite behavior, I would take decent care of my appearance.

pup and I met a Dom just a couple of days ago at a Starbucks. We both wore jeans and polo shirts. In my case, I was not wearing makeup, but I did have my hair down and neatly groomed. I wore black boots instead of tennis shoes, black jeans, and a blue shirt to highlight my eyes. Simple, and me. This way I wordlessly state part of who I am.

zuma

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: First Meeting - 9/16/2006 7:57:05 AM

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Joined: 6/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Why of course. ;) As with any situation there are greys...not just black and whites...

Dates..the last date I had was actually a prune... ;)

I agree with you..some have no biz dating let alone dominating.

Ross

Prune or prude?? Was she all shriveled up or did she just not give you any sex??

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

RE: First Meeting - 9/16/2006 11:23:05 AM

Mavis

Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Or like with my Daddy, I think I may have asked him what he liked a female to wear...

quote:

ORIGINAL: pqwinny

For example my Sir told me to wear whatever i felt comfortable in, just not jeans. That request was honored.

quote:

ORIGINAL: utterlybutterfli
He asked me not to wear trousers. I was happy to comply
He wasn't "My" Dom, at that point - but I knew he would be

quote:

ORIGINAL: OhReallyNow
when i met Master for the first time, yes i did allow him to dictate my clothing. We had been corresponding for many months though, and i felt comfortable doing so.

i'm wondering if this requires a poll.. it seems to me that even those of us that say oh no, i'd never let His prefs dictate a first meet, often DID when it came to One we eventually ended up with. Is it possible prevelent that we made exceptions because of some instinct things were going that way evetually anyway, or did the exception to the rule CAUSE it to go that other way?

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: First Meeting - 9/16/2006 11:25:16 AM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I would not let a stranger order me to wear something. I did not say I could not be influenced...sometimes the best of doms do not have to order you at all

.. they create the desire to please

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Mavis)

RE: First Meeting - 9/16/2006 11:49:40 AM

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

A question for the women. Your meeting your Dom/Domme for the first time. Do you let them tell you what to wear for the meeting?

The only relationship with a dominant that I have had is my Lord and yes, I did wear what he wanted me to wear for our first in person meeting. However, this was after many months of email, chat and phone conversations and I was relatively sure that I wanted to be his. The requirements were to wear a skirt, heels and no panties weather permitting. If the weather was bad, then pants were sufficient, but heels were still required (he has a thing for the sound of heels on hard surfaces). I did this for him, but I don't think I would do it for anyone else.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to Dnomyar)

RE: First Meeting - 9/16/2006 11:50:50 AM

Mavis

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Joined: 2/8/2004
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Ah, ordering.. fair point. i note in none of the cases quoted above, and in none of my offline friends i've asked, was "ordered" a part of the equation. But man, up until this One guy.. i heartily resisted even "influence".

Maybe that word is key. It's not giving over premature surrender to accept the influence of one you find interesting enough. Yeah. i can wave that flag easily.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: First Meeting - 9/16/2006 12:10:47 PM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I was very influenced...lol.. who knows how I would have reacted to an order. He said to wear whatever I liked if memory served me correctly. We were going to go to a hockey game so he suggested a coat and jeans or sweats...smiles. To the guy that hates sweats, I will not be wearing them to a first date, but I do look rather fetching in them...hee he

We met for breakfast instead

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 9/16/2006 12:11:11 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Mavis)

RE: First Meeting - 9/16/2006 3:32:03 PM

Posts: 249
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

i'm wondering if this requires a poll.. it seems to me that even those of us that say oh no, i'd never let His prefs dictate a first meet, often DID when it came to One we eventually ended up with. Is it possible prevelent that we made exceptions because of some instinct things were going that way evetually anyway, or did the exception to the rule CAUSE it to go that other way?

since Master and I had been corresponding for some time, this slave felt VERY comfortable letting him dictate the clothing.

this slave thinks though, that if she had not felt so comfortable with him, that she would not have done so

_____________________________

~ When anger rises, think of the consequences
CONFUCIUS ~

(in reply to Mavis)

RE: First Meeting - 9/16/2006 7:58:38 PM

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Joined: 2/5/2006
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Master and I had already established a relationship by the time we met for the first time. I presented myself exactly as he instructed.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

RE: First Meeting - 9/16/2006 9:36:57 PM

Posts: 425
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline

Speaking as a Domme.. I think that due to the overall suckiness of many webcams, for a first meet in a crowded place, I might say something along the lines of: "carry a yellow daisy" or something else silly like that. If The webcam didnt suck, or his/her pictures were recent, I would probably just make sure we were both clear on the dress code for whatever we happened to be doing.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

RE: First Meeting - 9/17/2006 4:37:28 AM

diamonddreamlove

Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline

I have always been happy to comply with suggested clothing. But don't tell me not to wear a bra or panties on a first meeting. I want to feel comfortable and if I feel the need (or should say felt the need) to take off articles of clothing during a first meeting then that too should be my choice. But then i consider the early stages of a relatioship to be more about getting to know the person than playing touchy feely. Besides if this is an issue at this stage if it doubtful that the Dom would ever become my Dom.

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to divinity)

RE: First Meeting - 9/17/2006 4:17:42 PM

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

It depends.

If you've chatted briefly twice, discovered you work within a block of each other and agree to meet for coffee after work, then no.

If however you've talked for over an hour daily for more than a month and have shared deeply personal feelings and experiences, and feel a connection, then yes to some degree. You still don't agree to wear fetish wear to the food court in the mall or meet at a playground in spikes and a plunging neckline. But if you've mentioned you have a new red shirt and red is his favorite color then why not?

(in reply to divinity)

RE: First Meeting - 9/17/2006 4:19:09 PM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

But I would do that if the man was vanilla and the date was too... wouldn't you?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Celeste43)

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