Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinless?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinless?

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Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinless? - 9/14/2006 8:04:50 AM

Posts: 11
Joined: 8/21/2004
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I am 25. Quite inexperience in the lifestyle. I have been on here for a few year now. And i was curious about this. I myself, am quite confident. I feel like I am a strong person. Not just physically. I am intelligent. I am a free thinker. But If I ever had a Mistress to serve I would definately know who the boss is. And not challenge her authority. And do what ever I am asked, or commanded. Do some Mistress' out there actually desire a sub who can think for themselves. This has been a question that has been burning me. Please help!

RE: Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinl... - 9/14/2006 8:06:13 AM

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Joined: 8/21/2004
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Sorry about the spelling error. I know that definately didnt help my situation.

(in reply to 23TampaMsub)

RE: Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinl... - 9/14/2006 8:10:48 AM

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quote:

Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinless?

Absolutely not. Most of us like people with personalities and strong minds submitting. A smart/strong man who chooses to submit is incredibly sexy to me... A smart submissive is a lot more helpful/beneficial to a domina for obvious reasons. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to 23TampaMsub)

RE: Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinl... - 9/14/2006 8:15:41 AM

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Thanks for the incite.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

RE: Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinl... - 9/14/2006 8:20:14 AM

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Joined: 8/25/2006
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yes, I often like a stronger personality. I don't want a clash of wills, but enjoy hearing what he/she has to say.

I do not like someone who always feels like they have to give their opinion on everything or wants to rant about the whoe's of the world. Go talk to your subbie/slave friends about that stuff.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

RE: Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinl... - 9/14/2006 8:30:48 AM

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I can't stand and won't work with the spineless. Confidence and intelligence is a must, people who can't think for themselves don't interest me.

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Always remember that great love and great achievements both involve great risk.

(in reply to 23TampaMsub)

RE: Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinl... - 9/14/2006 9:10:42 AM

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Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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To me, the words "submissive" and "dominant" can describe both roles and personality traits. I want dominant slaves, meaning someone who has a dominant personality that wishes to serve. I tease my girl about it...she uses the title "slave girl" most times, but she also has a 'little' side, which is often entitled being a 'lil'. she's also very dominant and has a Dominant side. So, I tease her about being "lil' slave girl Syr anne". *chuckle*

Master Fire

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The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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(in reply to 23TampaMsub)

RE: Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinl... - 9/14/2006 9:38:52 AM

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Fox is a very strong man. He can be submissive but he is not always submissive however he is always my slave. For me and him, being a slave rather than a submissive means being a strong person, self-motivated, and focused on serving another without the needs for constant supervision or direction. Generally only strong people can do that in my experience.

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(in reply to 23TampaMsub)

RE: Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinl... - 9/14/2006 9:57:24 AM

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From: Domme Emeritus
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This explains my feelings best:

~ If I have chosen a male to be my submissive, I would have chosen someone that was intelligent, articulate, honest, well mannered, masculine, romantic, and with a well developed sense of humor. For now, I have chosen a male sub that I have a definite liking for as well as a bit of romantic love. Now, if I have chosen this man for all of these particular traits, why would I wish to deride him for being exactly what I wanted?

I will honor this man the very same way I will honor a female submissive, and treat him with all the respect he is due. sometimes, I think it is much harder for a men to admit that they are submissive, especially very masculine men. But I am always glad when it happens and celebrate with joy this discovery in themselves.

I don't feel the need to "make" a man submit to my every whim, or order. In fact, for me, it is so very wonderful when this submission is offered to me without any preconceived notions that I will have to "make" them acquiess to my desires. To have them offer it to me, is so much sweeter
-Annonymous ~

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to 23TampaMsub)

RE: Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinl... - 9/14/2006 10:13:15 AM

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I have a sub who thinks for himself and I wouldn't have a sub who didn't. We are in a relationship and that means not only BDSM and sex, but conversation, spending time together, having hobbies. etc. I care greatly about him and would never want him to feel he had to be something he was not. I appreciate an intelligent person and I think alot of Domme's do!
I think the only people who want the weak/spineless and low IQ are the "Dominants" who aren't really Dominants but manipulators/abusers

Just my opinion.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to LotusSong)

RE: Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinl... - 9/14/2006 11:01:48 AM

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Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Southern Illinois
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I feel like I'd be doing myself, and the slave, a disservice if I were to own someone who didn't feel as though they were worth owning. Which makes perfect sense to me....lol.

I'm not into all this..."Oh Mistress Such and Such...I'm not worthy to serve you!" My succinct reply would be..."You're absolutely right. You're dismissed."

Have a spine, a pair, (testicles or breasts...it matters not), etc. Have something. AT LEAST intelligence and self worth. Sheesh.

As always, YMMV...

MrsShadows

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"The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because of it's shallowness." - George Carlin

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most..." - Ozzy Osbourne

(in reply to 23TampaMsub)

RE: Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinl... - 9/14/2006 12:57:01 PM

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Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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I don't, but know of women who enjoy the "worm" type. I go for the power suited exec, the cops or the military men with power in their daily lives myself....

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Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to 23TampaMsub)

RE: Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinl... - 9/14/2006 1:22:07 PM

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Joined: 10/5/2004
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my general response to this is:

If I wanted a doormat, I'd go get one for $5 from the store.

We want someone to join our family - a person. That requires personality, and opinions, and interests, and everything else that being human entails.

(in reply to MisPandora)

RE: Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinl... - 9/14/2006 1:36:14 PM

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I could never have any interest in a submissive that was not bright, witty and strong.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to SweetDommes)

RE: Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinl... - 9/14/2006 3:01:04 PM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Utah
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There is nothing sexier than a powerful, strong, intelligent man at my feet.

Ms Sandi

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"The Masochist desires to experience stronger sensations, but desires that it should be inflicted with Love. The Sadist desires to inflict stronger sensations, but desires that it should be felt as Love" Havelock Ellis The Project Gutenberg

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinl... - 9/14/2006 3:11:30 PM

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Joined: 12/2/2004
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I have to agree with the others here. In my book a sub/slave has to be able to hold their own in a conversation about a wide variety of things as well as life heavy things... lol (inside joke).

And being honest, I don't have a clue why you haven't been snatched up yet! Ok, it helps if they are eye candy too I guess.. lol

Jewel

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Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to 23TampaMsub)

RE: Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinl... - 9/14/2006 3:35:30 PM

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Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel
And being honest, I don't have a clue why you haven't been snatched up yet! Ok, it helps if they are eye candy too I guess.. lol
Jewel

Jewel, I may have phucked my emailing ability with the profile alteration, because I emailed you, and wonder if you see it. M

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a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

RE: Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinl... - 9/14/2006 3:49:55 PM

Kahri

Posts: 70
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline

I agree with everyone who has posted. I don't think a person can be truly submissive if they aren't already a strong person with a mind of their own and able to make their own decisions. It's a whole lot more fun to see a strong person kneel in front of you and ask to be permitted to serve you than to see a spineless jellyfish do it.

Sure it'd be easy to dominate someone who never thought for themselves or had any opinions of their own, but it wouldn't really be a bdsm experience so much as a dysfunctional relationship with a (possibly) bdsm shell. And it certainly wouldn't be any fun.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

RE: Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spinl... - 9/14/2006 4:32:53 PM

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Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Lancashire, UK
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This thread certainly makes me feel a bit better.

(in reply to Kahri)

RE: Does being a sub mean you have to be weak and Spine... - 9/21/2006 10:03:18 AM

Sylph

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Joined: 8/26/2004
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Do subs have to be spineless, no. I think that it has been clearly shown that many of the posters here like a well rounded person.

Perhaps you are having problems finding the right fit. There are other venues for finding a partner off boards. Have you checked out the TNG group in Tampa?

Sylph

(in reply to GambitLeBeau)

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