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anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 2:55:22 PM   
mdboy


Posts: 11
Joined: 3/20/2006
Status: offline 		I'm having alot of trouble with relaxing during anal sex.  My master cannot get one finger in without me clamping down on it.  Does anyone have any suggestions on how to help me.  I would greatly appreciate it
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 3:27:26 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		Deep breaths...

Perhaps you and he arranging a 'touching only' session so you KNOW it's not going to go any further.  A few of those followed by a 'tip of one finger' session a few times; with the absolute promise it won't be more than that.

Once you're relaxed enough for a finger tip...go forward; but just do it all SLOWLY!  It sounds to me like you're scared of the 'unknown'. 

beverly 
 
Edited to add:
 
You might also try getting a very small (finger sized) dildo/butt plug and playing alone with it till you become comfortable, too.

< Message edited by Bearlee -- 9/17/2006 3:28:43 PM >

(in reply to mdboy)
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RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 3:34:23 PM   
OhReallyNow


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mdboy

I'm having alot of trouble with relaxing during anal sex.  My master cannot get one finger in without me clamping down on it.  Does anyone have any suggestions on how to help me.  I would greatly appreciate it

this slave has found that not thinking about what Master MAY or MAY NOT do is the best way to stay relaxed. of course, Master does not try to 'work' me up to it, he just does  yet, this slave has found that she has never had a problem because she simply does not bother to think about it.

_____________________________

~ When anger rises, think of the consequences
CONFUCIUS ~

(in reply to mdboy)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 4:30:23 PM   
swtsouthernsub


Posts: 477
Joined: 12/23/2004
Status: offline 		would have to agree with them both applauds !!!
I personally enjoy it  and seem to have a more explosive intense orgasm from it but thats just my opinion

_____________________________

DEBBIE
Messenger Of Truth
Let the words of my mouth and meditations of my heart,
be acceptable in thy sight O Lord my strength and redeemer
Psalms 19:14

Those with a closed mind live a sheltered life.

(in reply to OhReallyNow)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 4:53:15 PM   
sissifytoserve


Posts: 1016
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Lube...lube and more lube.


Lots and lots of pre-care. Soft caressing to get the penetrated relaxed.

A former misstress of mine would start out with a small plug and get me used to that...

...then work up to something larger untill I was able to tolerate her strap-on.

(in reply to swtsouthernsub)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 5:08:30 PM   
MistressTexas


Posts: 425
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline 		At the risk of repeating myself in every anal thread I post in.... LUBE... lube lube lube lube lube. When in doubt, use a bit more lube. The other way to stop yourself from clamping down is, when he's ready to insert the fingertip, bear down a bit, like youre trying to take a poop. This relaxes the spincter muscles. So on anothe rnote, probably a good idea to clean up and have a movement before play as well. Go slow. By slow I mean at YOUR pace, not your Dom's. When you finally reach the point of full insertion (finger or other), he should hold still and let you move back and forth against him. One position that usually helps for relaxing is squatting. Looks silly as hell, but it naturally relaxes the muscles back there. Make sure his hands are clean, nails trimmed and filed. One reason you *might* be clamping down is that he has a rough nail, and you're mistaking that bad pain, as the normal pain of anal play. Oh.. and one more thing... LUBE.

(in reply to swtsouthernsub)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 5:47:23 PM   
MasterMatthews


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		this is his master speaking ;),

for all of you that think im trying to force it on him, im not.
i love him with all my heart, and if he wants me to stop, i stop, he just really wants me to fuck him (i honestly want him to fuck me too) but as my boyfriend and my boy, i would stop if he said it hurt too much

im not trying to sound mean, but all of you seem to think that im going to force it on him, and im not, we go at his pace for new things

but thanks to everyone for the help, keep the ideas coming, we are both new at anal play and need all the help we can get

(in reply to MistressTexas)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 5:52:52 PM   
OhReallyNow


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMatthews

this is his master speaking ;),

for all of you that think im trying to force it on him, im not.
i love him with all my heart, and if he wants me to stop, i stop, he just really wants me to fuck him (i honestly want him to fuck me too) but as my boyfriend and my boy, i would stop if he said it hurt too much

im not trying to sound mean, but all of you seem to think that im going to force it on him, and im not, we go at his pace for new things

but thanks to everyone for the help, keep the ideas coming, we are both new at anal play and need all the help we can get

this slave in now way took his post to say that such activity was being forced on him

_____________________________

~ When anger rises, think of the consequences
CONFUCIUS ~

(in reply to MasterMatthews)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 6:09:37 PM   
MasterMatthews


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OhReallyNow

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMatthews

this is his master speaking ;),

for all of you that think im trying to force it on him, im not.
i love him with all my heart, and if he wants me to stop, i stop, he just really wants me to fuck him (i honestly want him to fuck me too) but as my boyfriend and my boy, i would stop if he said it hurt too much

im not trying to sound mean, but all of you seem to think that im going to force it on him, and im not, we go at his pace for new things

but thanks to everyone for the help, keep the ideas coming, we are both new at anal play and need all the help we can get

this slave in now way took his post to say that such activity was being forced on him


i know you didnt boy and thank you for that, im just saying, why does everyone think that a master has to be an ass?
talk to my boy, he will tell you differently

(in reply to OhReallyNow)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 6:16:41 PM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mdboy

I'm having alot of trouble with relaxing during anal sex.  My master cannot get one finger in without me clamping down on it.  Does anyone have any suggestions on how to help me.  I would greatly appreciate it


I too am pretty new to anal sex. For me I concentrate on deep slow breaths and choose to keep my butt muscles relaxed by actually bearing down slightly. Be sure to use lots of lube & relax.

(in reply to mdboy)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 6:16:59 PM   
mdboy


Posts: 11
Joined: 3/20/2006
Status: offline 		everyone please stop putting everything on my master

I am the one who wants to take his cock.  This is a problem I have had previously with other playmates. Just that my Master Alex is the one who I really want it to work with.

He is not forcing me in any way.



(in reply to MasterMatthews)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 6:20:10 PM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		to be honest...i don't see the fascination in anal sex.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to mdboy)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 6:25:44 PM   
sissifytoserve


Posts: 1016
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		I think it feels incredible.

My 2 cents

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 6:33:19 PM   
mdboy


Posts: 11
Joined: 3/20/2006
Status: offline 		We are both gay so where else we supposed to put it

last time i checked I didnt have a vagina

(in reply to mdboy)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 6:36:40 PM   
OhReallyNow


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		this slave would find that comment funny if she thought that you and your Master were serious. You were given some very good advice, and yet, the only thing that you can comment on is th non-existance of rudeness towards your Master.
 
this slave finds your attitude to be one of a troll and nothing more.
 
this slave wishes you luck in your pursuits

_____________________________

~ When anger rises, think of the consequences
CONFUCIUS ~

(in reply to mdboy)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 6:44:10 PM   
mdboy


Posts: 11
Joined: 3/20/2006
Status: offline 		im sorry that you feel as if im trolling.

He has never forced me to do anything.  He is my boyfriend and lover first.  My master second.  I thank everyone for your advice it is very insightful and very helpful.

(in reply to mdboy)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 6:45:56 PM   
MasterMatthews


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		im sure we will put it to good use this weekend

(in reply to mdboy)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 7:04:58 PM   
blackwinterbyrd


Posts: 112
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline 		To add to the lube and "no pressure" play suggestions:
I've found that between the finger/plug stage and the cock stage there is a very helpful vibrator stage.  I own one of those plug-in "magic wand" types with the extender on it that looks like gonzo's nose.  It is somewhat larger than a finger and made of firm silicone.  The vibrations from this toy are intense enough to make you go numb after a few minutes.  Its original purpose is a muscle massager/relaxer and therefore it works very well at soothing and disabling the 'clamp-down'.  It actually goes in easier when vibrating, you can rest it at the opening and let gravity take it down entirely.  Make sure whatever you use has a flared base, a big, flared base.
More advice: Spend lots of time holding the insertable anything perfectly still.  Let the bottom move against it so that he/she learns what feels good.  Think dirty thoughts ;) but you knew that one.  There are some very good instructional books on the market about anal play.  I'd trust anything sold at goodvibrations. (www.goodvibes.com)  Hey is that kind of plug against forum rules?  I swear I'm not affiliated, I just get the catalog.

-Former impassable ass.

(in reply to MasterMatthews)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 8:31:39 PM   
bluelace001


Posts: 62
Joined: 6/7/2006
Status: offline 		I'm just going to add my two cents. Master is very much into anal , and one of the things that has helped me in the past is a focal point. It may sound nuts, but being female, and having givin birth to three kids, what the doctors and nurses taught me to relax for childbirth also helped to relax for anal. Do what the others suggested with breathing...also use a focal point and lots of lube. Ask your Master to go slow(which it sounds like you two are already) and not give up. The use of butt plugs also helped to ready my anas for use, and it requires the same thought process, breath, focus during insurtion, and lots of lube. And just from what i've read so far, no one is suggesting your Master is being forceful. Remember, the both of you need to relax in order for it to work out and patience is a virtue. Just my lil old thoughts on the subject. Good luck
bluelace_V
(property of Viper_001)

(in reply to blackwinterbyrd)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 8:50:19 PM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sissifytoserve

I think it feels incredible.

My 2 cents


it has never happened to me and never will.


_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to sissifytoserve)
Profile   Post #: 20
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