Collarchat.com

Join Our Community
Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

Discerning the Truth


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Health and Safety >> Discerning the Truth Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Discerning the Truth - 1/21/2004 6:16:41 AM   
ShadowHwk


Posts: 158
Joined: 1/5/2004
From: New York
Status: offline
Discerning the Truth of a new Contact

These are just some things I have learned over the years from meeting people from the ‘net. Things that help me figure out if a person is really who they say they are. It is a sad thing, but many on the ‘net, and in the world pretend to be what they are not. Why? Good question. Usually it is fear based… some insecurity. The truth always seems to come out in the end… makes you wonder why some would bother trying to deceive in the first place.


  • Does the voice match the picture? What do I mean by this? Does that deep and throaty voice sound like it could come from the picture of this 110 lb woman? The same goes for men. Certain body types, because of the nature of how sound produces and travels can only produce a certain range of sound. NOTE: There are exceptions to everything, this included. But pay attention.

  • Do they ask for personal, private information, but give none in return? For example a phone number or address? But are unwilling to give the same in return at some point? Now, in the beginning, when just getting to know each other, it simply good common sense for most to limit the amount of information that is given, on both sides. No one needs a stalker in his or her life. BUT after a reasonable period, for things to move forward, you must take the first step, and that usually involves an exchange of phone numbers. AN Exchange. If someone wants your number, and wants to call you whenever, but wont let you call them, ever – it is time to get a bit suspicious – what are they trying to hide? And from whom? It may be simple, but then again it may not.

  • Does the person have a website showing pictures of a spouse and kids, yet they say they are not married? Time to ask some hard questions.

  • Do some things just not add up? Pay attention to your gut instincts – what do they tell you? Do they scream at you when ever you get near this person? If they do then you should probably listen. The unconscious mind can pick up on all sorts of clues that our conscious mind simply doesn’t notice or process.


As mentioned else where, a good idea is to use a webcam to get a look at a person real time. Because of it’s real-time, interactive nature it is much harder to fake. And in the long run can save you a lot of heartache. Yes because of firewalls and routers, and software issues they can be a pain to setup…. But isn’t that almost insignificant compared to the pain of letting someone into your life emotionally only to find they are not at all what they pretended to be?

What is the point I am trying to make here? It is that you should be careful and not get carried away to fast. That new Mr or Mrs Right may not really be what they say they are, and you should use your common sense, and all the tools you have available to ascertain the truth before letting someone into your life.

Second, don’t be afraid to ask hard questions. Pay attention to the answers. The truth has a ring to it, a quality, a self-sustaining quality that lies cannot match. The puzzle pieces in the best lie don’t fit nearly so well together as does the simple truth.

Peace and Light
Terry
AKA ShadowHwk
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Discerning the Truth - 1/27/2004 12:55:15 AM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline
Great advice! All tricks I've used.

Something else I'll add, is I strongly recommend that someone who seems reluctant to talk on the phone, or provide personal information after a 'reasonable' amount of time (a few days or a couple weeks depending on the nature of the talks) is probably hiding something. Time and time again, I've enjoyed a few dozen hours of one on one chat - but when the phone number question is asked, somehow it becomes a "oh, I don't know if I can" or "oh, I've had problems in the past with this one guy..." etc etc. Again, use your gut, but if someone has ten hours to spend chatting in IM, but doesn't have ten minutes to talk on the phone, there's probably things not quite right at hand.

Stephan


_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to ShadowHwk)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Discerning the Truth - 8/2/2004 5:26:11 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
Good common simple sence
ShadowHawk n Voltare
[ looks at the pics....
now just how many miles to the gallon
can I get off Ya Shadow and Voltare a
viking kitten? My how BDSM has evolved
inanimate objects and animals! I guess
You two are not what You show in Your
pictures either...darn ~giggles~

(in reply to Voltare)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Discerning the Truth - 8/2/2004 9:02:17 PM   
MastersControl


Posts: 31
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
Great advice. If a person doesn't have anything to hide and really wants to get to know you, they won't have a problem exchanging information. Also it gives both parties time to check out the person to determine if it really is someone you want to get to know better past the chatting. When I was searching (I am no longer), I had a questionnaire, that I sent the sub who I wanted to get to know better, and when she returned it filled, I sent my questionnaire to her with the same answers filled in from my responses. It helped a lot to migrate the relationship further... Communication, Communication is the key to saftey and success.

MC

_____________________________

A Master is not a title, it is what a slave calls her trusted Dom. The true Masters of the past were trained, and given the name, not given the title by self-proclamation.

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Discerning the Truth - 8/6/2004 4:43:01 PM   
WayHome


Posts: 237
Joined: 8/4/2004
Status: offline
I'm brand new to this whole internet thing. I guess I'm unusual in that I started out IRL and now, due to some geographical and practical issues, relegated to an online search.

So I've been struggling with how to present myself. I don't want to give out too much information to anyone and everyone because we are not "out" in our public lives and have job issues. How do I know a potential contact will respect my privacy? On the other hand, if I am unwilling to share personal information then why should she trust me?

I'm guessing i'm not the only one with these sorts of concerns.

(in reply to MastersControl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Discerning the Truth - 8/6/2004 6:10:21 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
Way
when the Dominant has to be secretive to Their desires its a hard road to
tread on the W W W. Its hard enough as it is when its only Our inner being
thats being seen here and not Our physical selfs and experiance. But the
need to hide who or what We are as well in Our search tends to make things hard for the take online is this....everyone is a potential enemy, a
potential preditor, a potential blackmailer.

You should start out not being whom you are at all and totally be sumone
else at all times and if you come across the One in this alter state hope that when and if the time comes that You have a total absolute trust in them when they are told the truth hope they can accept your deciete in
your need to hide that which you must for what ever Your reasons may be. Keep in mind that at this point they could also tell you that they also have not told the truth about their selfs. JMO

Its time to accept in Your self who and what You are and stand up for Your right to be such Way.........Freedom always comes at a cost and
I suppose only sum of Us are willing to pay that price no matter how high.
That to Me is the Dicerning Truth...~smiles~ JMO Oh yes by the way You are not unusual either as many of Us are BDSMers from way befor there was such a thing as computers for the public.....and sum of Us were public about who We were even then.....[walks away singing~~~Im a survivorrr!!!Big Gal thriverrrrrrr!! Kick Ass fighterrrr!!La La La lalalalala]

(in reply to WayHome)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Discerning the Truth - 8/7/2004 10:50:26 AM   
dixiedumpling


Posts: 456
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: southeast Mississippi
Status: offline
  • Does the voice match the picture? What do I mean by this? Does that deep and throaty voice sound like it could come from the picture of this 110 lb woman? The same goes for men. Certain body types, because of the nature of how sound produces and travels can only produce a certain range of sound. NOTE: There are exceptions to everything, this included. But pay attention.

    I can't get this quote thing to work right. It puts the whole post in my box. Oh, well, if you read my profile, you'll see the mechanical things misbehave for me.

    I've noticed that some women have an artifically lowered voice due to smoking.

    _____________________________

    Toodles,
    dixiedumpling

    My mind is no place to play alone. Anna Pigeon as written by Nevada Barr

    (in reply to ShadowHwk)
  • Profile   Post #: 7
    RE: Discerning the Truth - 8/8/2004 2:34:28 AM   
    Thanatosian


    Posts: 765
    Joined: 5/10/2004
    From: New Castle, PA
    Status: offline
    quote:

    I can't get this quote thing to work right. It puts the whole post in my box.


    M. dixie -

    if you click on the quote button, it will paste the entire persons post as a quote in your reply

    if you highlight the portion you wish to refer to and then click on reply, it will automatically quote just that highlighted portion of the post in your reply

    hope this helps

    <stupid typos>

    < Message edited by Thanatosian -- 8/8/2004 2:35:30 AM >


    _____________________________

    Apply Usual Caveats Here

    An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

    (in reply to dixiedumpling)
    Profile   Post #: 8
    Page:   [1]
    All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Health and Safety >> Discerning the Truth Page: [1]
    Jump to:





    New Messages No New Messages
    Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
    Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
     Post New Thread
     Reply to Message
     Post New Poll
     Submit Vote
     Delete My Own Post
     Delete My Own Thread
     Rate Posts




    Collarchat.com © 2024
    Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

    0.105