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RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/23/2006 11:57:48 PM

FirmhandKY

Posts: 8948
Joined: 9/21/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

Now wait a minute...I was going along just fine in this thread until it became about (1) his failure to disclose and (2) that he was somehow lying or dishonest because he didn't disclose?

It is easy to advocate "total honesty", but it is I think much harder to live it. Those of you who took on the guy as somehow being liar, or even took on the OP as "not finding out sooner" are wrong. I much more respect CravesPleasure, KatyLied and the others who posted about how they dealt with this issue in their lives.

I'm going to call you who posted in that negative vein out on this one: I think you are being hypocrites. One common complaint we see here on CM from women is about all the rude jerks who introduce their penises into the conversation TOO EARLY, by words and/or pictures. NOW we get the vocal (mostly) female contingent asking for a "small penis" disclaimer? I don't buy it.

Come on, people. Be reasonable.

E.

I reviewed the thread, and perhaps I missed something, but it appears to me that the first post that had even the slightest hint that there may be a negative interpretation about the man was mine.

But, also on re-reading mine closely, I see nothing that called him a liar, or dishonest.

What I did basically say was that I was uncomfortable with his method and time of disclosure and that it smacked of "relationship packaging". But I feel I left it open enough, and clear that it was simply the feeling I had, and not an open and shut indictment of him.

As always, it's impossible to know all the facts.

So I'm really not sure that you (and KoM by extension) are calling me a hypocrite, and therefore unsure of how to respond to you both on this issue. I will await clarification therefore.

I think treasure addressed the other points of your post sufficiently, so I'll leave that alone as well.

FHky

_____________________________

Some people are just idiots.

(in reply to Emperor1956)

Post #: 41

RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/24/2006 12:16:19 AM

SirKenin

Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
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Women like to say "size does not matter", but that is bullshit. It does and we all know it.

Men like to say "size does not matter". Well, you have to give them some sort of props. It is better than admitting you are hung like a gerbil.

I hope you do not mind, but I asked My wife what she thought. She has dated a couple of guys in the past that were quite small. So I asked her if she would stay with a man longterm because he was small. Her comment was that she would have to buy a vibrator. Which made Me think. I have no problems filling a woman right up, but I like to experiment. I like tons of variety, or I get bored really quickly (not a good thing when you like sex as much as I do). So I use toys on them, including vibrators. I can experiment with dual penetration and other things that way as well.

So, without telling your man that you just can not feel him, why not approach it from a different angle? Why not promote the use of toys, tongues and fingers? I love all of them, Myself. Dildos, anal beads, pocket rockets, clitoris vibrators. A strap on even (but I'm not sure about that one.. He might find it degrading, so maybe be careful, if not at all). There are all kinds of ways so that you both can achieve sexual satisfaction.

This does not have to be a decision about whether to bitch or ditch. If he is great in every other aspect I can easily see it working for both of you.

< Message edited by SirKenin -- 9/24/2006 12:24:52 AM >

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Post #: 42

RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/24/2006 12:23:56 AM

BrokenDoll

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Sir Kenin... wouldnt that just be her being dishonest with him.... it is so importent to be honest about things or they bit you in da bum

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Post #: 43

RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/24/2006 12:37:09 AM

SirKenin

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From: Barrie, ON Canada
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I do not think so. Actually My wife and I were just debating that very aspect of it after I posted that. My position was that she would be being sensitive. He already knows he is small. She does not have to tell him or in any way rub it in. I feel that it can be very tactfully approached.

I can honestly say that penis size is a VERY sensitive issue for a man. You can say anything to a man. You are ugly. You have more hair than My dog. You are an asshole. Anything. But as soon as you say "You are hung like a gerbil" and it is even close to true, that cuts right to the bone. That is the only thing I know that will destroy a man's ego. I used to be very sensitive about the issue. It was when woman after woman commented on the size in very flattering ways that I started to develop confidence, which of course led to all kinds of other things..

My wife is of the position that she should be honest with him and suggest that she is not in fact being stimulated and suggest alternatives. I can tell you as a man that would have a major impact, as I just outlined. I take a huge amount of pride in pleasing a woman. From the sounds of the OP, the man in her life wants to feel like he is doing something too, as he asked her if she could feel her Master. You know why he asked that? Because he knows and feels self-conscious about it. I will bet on it.

So, to answer your question. Being dishonest? No, I do not think so. Being tactful? Yes.

Finally, let Me suggest that if he does not heed her suggestions that he has to assume the consequences for his decision, whatever those might be. I know someone who had sex with a guy with a 3" penis for 30 seconds, could not feel a thing and threw them off, figuring "what is the point?". So hopefully he will be sensitive to her needs. If he is a good man, a smart man, he will realize she is asking because she has needs and he will fulfill them without taking it personally.

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Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to BrokenDoll)

Post #: 44

RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/24/2006 12:44:50 AM

BrokenDoll

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No there are ways to be truethfull and tactfull at the same time... But she has these feelings and she needs to be honest with him about them or they will blow up.

_____________________________

Please take care of your toys treat them with Love and respect, For broken toys are no fun at all!

-doll-

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 45

RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/24/2006 12:56:13 AM

gentlethistle

Posts: 186
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline

A while ago I found a website that actually showed the range and variety of male penises, together with discussion and contributions from the men who had supplied the pictures. It was really rather inspiring to see the wide range and to hear from men who had no inhibitions about being 'different' (isn't everyone). I'm not sure if this is the same set of material or not, but it does something similar, and purports to have non-pornographic intent.

http://ejacu.com/ [this link leads to a front page that describes the contents of the website, but the site features pictures of penises...if you don't want to see that, don't click on the link]

I think that something similar for women's genitals or breasts would be great. I expect they already exist somewhere.

Because how many of us of either sex or other sex actually have access to a knowlege of the near-infinite variety of human form? Sure there are lots of images out there on the web of naked bodies and bits...but in general they are there to provide stimulation or represent 'ideals'. I don't think it's actually about 'knowing what's normal', it's more about understanding that what we are endowed with forms a part of human spectrum.

Meanwhile, I don't think that the old adage 'Size doesn't matter, it's what you do with it that counts' (and how you deal with it too) has ever been disproved.

Laura

(in reply to peaceNservice)

Post #: 46

RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/24/2006 1:06:24 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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I think if the issue were just "I saw his penis and it was really small" and he wasn't expressing anything about it, the option of just focusing on toys and other explorations is a decent one. Though since most hetero women have a psychological attachment to having good penis/vagina intercourse as well, it's doubtful it would be as simple as that to deal with it.

But we have the issue of him wanting her to exclaim about how she feels his cock insider her- forcing her to either lie or bring up the issue directly.

Obviously, the right thing to do is just discuss it openly. And if a man's ego can't take it, he really shouldn't be in an adult relationship involving sex at all.

_____________________________

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(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 47

RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/24/2006 1:13:47 AM

Lordandmaster

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Hey, on my screen, that IS 6 inches!

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressTexas

Because all our lives we've been told that this ______________________________ Is 6 inches.

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Post #: 48

RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/24/2006 1:27:53 AM

FelinePersuasion

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gentle I am sorry but size does matter, sure you can fuck with toys and fingers and toungs but if it's 2 inches I won't be sexually satisfied by it in sex, and having had a bf who was a puny 3 inches he was not satisfying. I want to fuck I want to ride their cock not some simulated toy all the time and if it's to tiny it's not pleasing me.

(in reply to gentlethistle)

Post #: 49

RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/24/2006 1:31:13 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
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i am one of those for whom size really doesn't matter but like any healthy woman i do want to FEEL it. Before you go on and break up with this guy, please consider a couple of things. First, there are many factors that contribute to "shrinkage" and one of those is being nervous. He obviously is smaller than average, he knows it, and he is overly concerned with it. It's natural that the first introduction of his penis his fears alone could make it a bit smaller than he is capable of. Consider also that you were extremely aroused at the point of penetration. 'Slippery When Wet' is going to make someone of small girth not be felt as much at times. If you really like this guy in all other areas, i'd give it another try. Or use this as an opportunity to expore smaller orifices?

As others have said, it's really up to you to decide whether or not this is something you can deal with. Good luck to you.

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Post #: 50

RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/24/2006 1:33:17 AM

FelinePersuasion

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and all those pics on that penis site just make me want to fuck them, it's not supposed to be erotic no, but god fine specimens bold an right there turn me on lol.

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

Post #: 51

RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/24/2006 2:07:48 AM

SirKenin

Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BrokenDoll

No there are ways to be truethfull and tactfull at the same time... But she has these feelings and she needs to be honest with him about them or they will blow up.

You *never* have to blurt out everything that pops into your brain. This is a common mistake people make. There is a time and a place for everything, and wisdom and discernment should direct you.

What she is doing by being "truthful" is offloading her frustrations onto him, making it his problem and absolving herself. That is the wrong approach to take. She is going to have to deal with it and swallow it if she truly has any tact. She will not be telling him anything he does not already know, so what was accomplished? That is what you have to look at here.

Somebody here said that size does not matter, it is how you use it. That is a giant crock of shit. Let us consider that there are only three ways that a woman gets stimulated to orgasm during intercourse. Her clitoris, g-spot and vaginal opening (provided she has had plenty of foreplay). The first has absolutely nothing to do with a penis. The second can not be reached with a small penis, and the third, if you can not feel it, will do nothing no matter how you use it and this is the complaint of the OP.

I guess you can consider that statement satisfactorily disproven.

< Message edited by SirKenin -- 9/24/2006 2:09:23 AM >

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to BrokenDoll)

Post #: 52

RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/24/2006 2:13:35 AM

cravespleasure

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Joined: 8/12/2006
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None of us were there in the room, but perhaps the "Can you feel it" type questions were checks that she was actually able to feel him? Additionally post ejaculation some men do shrink rather quickly.

Honestly, I don't know when it's a good time to discuss size of sexual organs. My clit is tiny, and while I believe I'm pretty tight, really I have no method of comparison. Does it matter to a potential partner at the outset? ( Lol, now that I've announced it on the Board I guess I don't have to worry about telling anyone anyways :)

Is this an older male? Was he brought up thinking that you talk about these things? I don't know. I think that talking about sexual compatibilities with potential partners is a relatively new thing. I don't remember that discussion in sex ed class :).. and I definitely didn't learn it from my parents.

Be open, honest, and direct with your feelings. It's good that you are talking this over with him, but definitely try not to be accusatory or offensive.

Good luck!

< Message edited by cravespleasure -- 9/24/2006 2:14:52 AM >

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

Post #: 53

RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/24/2006 2:30:07 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
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greeting peace and service

i hate to think this make sure he is not a woman i seen and haerd of this happen. your not the only one who has ran into a male with nothing there. he is hiding it and you need to check what is there . i had a friend whio had slept with a guy did that same things and ask her if she enjoy it. well she told me that his was no bigger them a thumb. i know you do not want to hurt him but ask him if you could maybe do oral sex and you can find out what is going on. i understand you embarrssment it is ok many of the good ones will give you adivce on this take care dear

mons

(in reply to peaceNservice)

Post #: 54

RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/24/2006 3:35:18 AM

Areflectionofyou

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I guess i may be a little different than most in the fact that as long as we both are pleased somehow and we love one another size doesn't matter. The size of his heart and brain are more important to me...shrugs.
jennifer

(in reply to peaceNservice)

Post #: 55

RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/24/2006 4:21:04 AM

dianeinSC

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i have actually noticed a pattern here with many Doms i have talked to.......many Doms are smaller than average and i was excited to see this subject brought up. i have no problem asking a man his size, tactfully. there is a large amount of Doms who
are either ED, health issues, or very small. this is a question i ask right away, as its important to me.

i was wondering if there is a correlation ?

no disrespect to anyone......just a pattern i have been noticing and therefore always asking right away.

(in reply to FirmhandKY)

Post #: 56

RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/24/2006 4:57:20 AM

twicehappy

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You really are in a difficult situation, it is possible he was not aware of his diminutive size but more likely he was especially since it sounds like he took great care to hide it from you until it was soft again.

He is probably embarrassed about it so he conceals the fact that he is aware. Which puts you in the awkward position of upholding his lie to himself or telling him the truth, either way you are going to have a problem.

Like others have commented you have to decide how big of a deal breaker this is for you.

Back when it was safe to have a fuck buddy i had one who was maybe 2 inches but he was a great lover. He warned girls it was so small in order to find it they needed to sprinkle pepper on it then grab it with tweezers when it sneezed. But he was creative, motivated, and worked at giving the most contact with it in bed, i never heard one woman complain about his size, rather they all complimented his skills.

There are things you can do about the lack of feeling for you (and also for him) if you get brave enough to discuss it with him and he is adult and open enough to listen. Kegel until you cannot fit a #2 pencil in there without using KY(not implying you are large here so please do not take this wrong). Have him learn the male form of Kegel, get him hard lay a wet cloth over his member and have him use the muscles to lift the washcloth. This increases the muscles at the base giving it a slightly larger girth at the base.

If you do get into a committed relationship and want to take it that far there are also surgical options for both;

http://www.altpenis.com/penis_news/penis_enlargement_surgery.shtml

http://www.labiaplastysurgeon.com/vaginoplasty.html

_____________________________

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Post #: 57

RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/24/2006 5:18:24 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

I'm going to call you who posted in that negative vein out on this one: I think you are being hypocrites. One common complaint we see here on CM from women is about all the rude jerks who introduce their penises into the conversation TOO EARLY, by words and/or pictures. LA (and the others, but she leapt into the fray with her take on the "I have a small penis note"), would you expect this message at the same moment in the relationship that you expected the "I have a small penis" note?

As the OP stated they had been together for five months in real time i think that was sufficient time to inform her of this issue with his anatomy, especially prior to when they were planning to play for the first time.

This is very different from sending a photo or bragging on the size of your member in the second email.

It is possible he was unaware that his penis was small but from the way it sounded in the OP's opening post it does appear that he took great pains that she not see or feel his penis until the last moment possible.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

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Post #: 58

RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/24/2006 5:26:43 AM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

quote:

ORIGINAL: BrokenDoll

No there are ways to be truethfull and tactfull at the same time... But she has these feelings and she needs to be honest with him about them or they will blow up.

You *never* have to blurt out everything that pops into your brain. This is a common mistake people make. There is a time and a place for everything, and wisdom and discernment should direct you.

What she is doing by being "truthful" is offloading her frustrations onto him, making it his problem and absolving herself. That is the wrong approach to take. She is going to have to deal with it and swallow it if she truly has any tact. She will not be telling him anything he does not already know, so what was accomplished? That is what you have to look at here.

Somebody here said that size does not matter, it is how you use it. That is a giant crock of shit. Let us consider that there are only three ways that a woman gets stimulated to orgasm during intercourse. Her clitoris, g-spot and vaginal opening (provided she has had plenty of foreplay). The first has absolutely nothing to do with a penis. The second can not be reached with a small penis, and the third, if you can not feel it, will do nothing no matter how you use it and this is the complaint of the OP.

I guess you can consider that statement satisfactorily disproven.

Man i have no repect for anyone that could have the audasity to tell someone to lie to someone they are in a relationship with about how they feel about something. Weather or not anyone els thinks this honesty in ALL things are importend Master has always told me omiting is lieing and will not be tolerated at all about anything no matter the subject let alone a subject that in all hinety is importent!

Magik's slave

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If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

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(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 59

RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/24/2006 5:45:39 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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Thanks for saying what you did, FHky. I'm glad that I wasn't the only one that felt he set things up really horribly for her.

Now if it had been me in that position with some fool who says, "Can you feel it", I'd have probably said...."Hey....get that pencil away from my pussy....I don't want lead poisoning!"

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to FirmhandKY)

Post #: 60

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