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Silvermoon -> RE: Forgetting the safe-word… (9/24/2006 5:05:27 PM)
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This is one of the reason I have THREE 'safewords'. I have a 'public and in conversation' safeword, I have a 'in scene able to talk' safeword and I have a 'physical' safeword. Top or bottom.
Here is the reasoning.
Example 1- We're out say at a public party, engaged in conversation or in the presence of one. I'm uncomfortable but can not walk away as it's rude. I have a word or topic I bring up where my partner knows it's time to move on. (more often than not a subtle look will accomplish this but not always)
Example 2- When I (or a bottom partner) scene, not too heavily into such, usually during warm up. Safewords are usually able to be remembered and spoken. Or a simple check in works.
Example 3- When heavily engaged in a scene, or engaged in a scene where it's not possible to see one's mouth move, in case of a gag, facing away and/or it's a rather loud enviroment safe words aren't always heard. It's also rather hard to speak during breath play. So..I have a physical safe word. When in physical contact, it's three taps, when on a cross or such I have hand signals as well. Open handed palm - slow down, closed fist - stop.
Pretty close to universal signs.
I've never forgotten a safeword, but I do pretty much refuse to use them. I shouldn't need them.
If I'm playing to the point of requiring safewords, I feel I have no business playing. Too many play the game of "who can make who safeword" rather than mutual enjoyment of a session. IN private I should trust my partner, in public I should trust my partner AND the Dm's.
My two cents.
Silver
--editted to explain refusal of safewords---
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