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RE: Why Mistresses are all just about money ! - 2/11/2007 12:26:06 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bludemonn

My two pennies worth? Charging for a service is perfectly fine...encouraging and charging for a desire when you do not even understand the feelings involved when turning 'on' a sub is firstly dangerous and secondly improper...but then again thats just my view.... Sometimes the very idea of the 'bitch' element that some very attractive ladies will simply demand cash can be a turn on in itself. Subs at the point of deep weakness should stop before they hand over the money and try to evaluate then and there whether they are paying for an illusion or whether they do actually wish for a service, then again easier said than done!  


I agree, many here only want to play and no committment.  Why not pay?
Someone must be paying or they would not be in business.

If you don't want to pay? Don't pay and move on.

_____________________________

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To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


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(in reply to bludemonn)
Profile   Post #: 241
RE: Why Mistresses are all just about money ! - 2/11/2007 12:44:31 PM   
MistressFeathers


Posts: 121
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
Oh when I started out I wasn't in it for money.
However, 1 too many men pissed Me off with a whole long list of demands/wants including the expectation that they could come to Me get a session that was tailored to them neverminding Me, drink My coffee, eat My food, use My shower and have Me pay for all equipment & clothes.
I'm still not in it for the money - I just want to cover My out lay costs for the above

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 242
RE: Why Mistresses are all just about money ! - 2/11/2007 7:42:42 PM   
redriverdude


Posts: 1
Joined: 2/7/2007
Status: offline
I have read through all the posts to this thread. Being a novice it has been an education. I am not looking for a casual relationship I am looking for a long term one with a Domme who is compatable with me. If that means taking the extra step then that is what I am willing to do. I also understand that submissive males will have a  more difficult time finding a Domme but the same is also true in the vanilla world.

Once in the relationship does not mean you stopp trying, you must be totally commited to your partner whether she be a Domme or a nilla girl. Life has taught me that good things do not come to you on a silver platter. I solicit comments pro and con on my statements.

(in reply to Misstoyou)
Profile   Post #: 243
RE: Why Mistresses are all just about money ! - 2/11/2007 7:53:34 PM   
MuscleyandCute


Posts: 82
Joined: 9/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleyandCute

Just thought I would ad something.  When I was just getting started in the scene a few years ago I talked to a Domme who was in her 50's and had been active in the scene for many years so obviously considerably more experienced than me, she was just a Dominant woman who enjoyed dominating, not a Pro or anything else.  On the subject of Dommes she told me that most of  them are just after what they can get.  I thought that was interesting.




I'm sure this "experienced and active in the scene for years, non-pro, just a dominant woman" you describe above gave you a lot of other wise advice, too. 


It was quite a while ago, that was basically what she said though.  I was reffered to her as someone good to talk to by some others who are now good freinds.  I dont want to sound nasty but sadly in reality it doesnt suprise me.  We only have to look at for example the fact that in Russia there are 3 women to every 1 man because of Chechnya and the fact that actually many Russian woman are looking to get out of the country partly due to the worse treatment of women by the men who do so because there are so many more women to go round, of course this is not talking of isolated incedences and there are of course some wonderfull Russian men, but in terms of a general trend is does prevail sadly and that is only 3:1 not 100:1.  Infact post WW2 it was 1:1.9 males to females and this caused huge problems economically as well as others although I know little about that in the context of relationship dynamics between the 2 sexes so thats a bit of a tangent but you can see what I mean. 


Its just the way it goes Im afraid, in the case of femdom there is a strong vacuum because of the very skewed numbers.  This could be because women percieve too much risk in coming out as a Domme in the face of a womans needs in life, namely getting a man, settling down etc and having all the important things in life that she thinks might be made harder if she where out as a Domme, who knows.  I know  that a woman who is turned on by dominating cannot be inherantly bad for that reason in itself. (Turned on as in its her sexuality, not because she is disgruntled at men thus gets 'emotionally' turned on by it, neither someone who gets turned on by free stuff and free labour otherwise I might as well label myself and every member of the human race a 'Domme' by the same premise knowing that few complain at a free lunch). 


The problem as I say is essentially just this vacuum, this inexorible vacuum HAS to be filled by something and seeing as the need that this vacuum calls for is barely there (otherwise there wouldnt have been a vacuum in the 1st place obviously) it will inevitably be filled by people with motives that are not conducive of the need that caused the vacuum in the 1st place, while if their motives where conducive of the need then there wouldnt have been a vacuum in the 1st place.  Its basic pure and simple common sense logic.


So this is why there are so many threads on here of this nature that indeed ask things such as 'Why are Mistresses all about the money'.  


It cannot be said that being a submissive male in itself is tantemount to being an intrinsic whinger anymore than any other sexuality.  That is as illogical as making out that tranvestites have a tendency to lose their temper, homosexuals are afraid of commitment or that foot fetishists are overbearing or Vanilla people are kinder to their pets, wheres the connection? lol. Personality and sexuality are quite seperate things.  Have all the Dominants reading this never been shy at some point in their life?  Have you at some point not been able to assert yourself about something?  exactly! Im not making out Dominants are shy and unnasertive Im just saying that your human, not some kind of weird robot whos every aspect is dictated by your sexuality.   

So in that case the sub males who come here to make these threads are doing so not because they are intrinsically flawed, there is another reason.


Infact I hope that this post has been an articulate insightfull answer to the original question and to those who may be reading also wondering for themselves.


(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 244
RE: Why Mistresses are all just about money ! - 2/11/2007 8:48:12 PM   
MuscleyandCute


Posts: 82
Joined: 9/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressFeathers

Oh when I started out I wasn't in it for money.
However, 1 too many men pissed Me off with a whole long list of demands/wants including the expectation that they could come to Me get a session that was tailored to them neverminding Me, drink My coffee, eat My food, use My shower and have Me pay for all equipment & clothes.
I'm still not in it for the money - I just want to cover My out lay costs for the above



I dont know how you can manage that, I know that if I became a stripper because I was disgruntled at women it wouldnt work.  If I felt disrespected by them I think I would rather do a job that I enjoyed with people who made me feel positive. 

I might be wrong but Im detecting a certain amount of sentiment from you that you feel as though you have been disrespected by men, as though you sought something from them perhaps emotional that you did not get?.  If thats how you feel then  seeing as often it is said that a Pro is providing a service that the submissive male pays for hence he is relatively more 'in control' than with a non-Pro Domme who he would be more obliged to listen to and so on knowing that its a relationship, then it just seems to me that provided you where not that happy with the lack of respect in that particular sense then this not be the answer unless you originally only looked at the interaction as an exchange of material goods in the 1st place. 

If you are genuinely pissed off at the lack of respect you where getting as a human then I just feel as though the more logical way of dealing with that is trying to find someone who does respect you.  Im not saying that your clients are disprespecting you, I'm saying it seems like your using a whisk to make an IKEA flatpack when your better off using a Hammer. 

(in reply to MistressFeathers)
Profile   Post #: 245
RE: Why Mistresses are all just about money ! - 2/13/2007 10:12:29 AM   
MistressFeathers


Posts: 121
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
I love your use of pyschology to understand the holistic context of my life and social standing thru a snap shot answer at the op's question.

I do not feel disrespected.
I have a great job that I enjoy.
I have a fantastic husband.
Men approach ME and ask ME to domme them, then come out with a huge list of demands etc.  I ask them to contribute to the upkeep/purchase of items such as dungeon hire etc.  I hardly think that is a major sin.  In the same way that if I go to a restaruant/cafe with friends we'll go dutch.
If you think that in order for me to be domme that means I should foot the bill for everything, you are sadly misguided.  However, you make your lifestyle choice & I'll make mine.

(in reply to MuscleyandCute)
Profile   Post #: 246
RE: Why Mistresses are all just about money ! - 2/14/2007 3:24:17 PM   
LaraVictore


Posts: 41
Joined: 7/23/2006
From: http://www.laravictore.com
Status: offline
First of all, the submissive or slave coming to me, never asks for sex or any similar thingie. If you are a fake or a apprentice buster doing some research, perhaps you should consider another field. But do not expect the Domina to become  the Mother Teresa of half-submissive players.
When I was in California, I have been approached  (by women) to enroll in their s-cort business for $5000 an hour: I frankly and loudly said no because the idea behind it sucked. All they have to do I assume is a few knitting with the legs, isn't it?
Did you post this to get free written sessions or are you really expecting that the profession of Dominatrix, which asks you (among other qualities) to have the same skills as a Movie Director while enjoying it, should be reduced to a horny street bitch sex binger?
Never mind, you probably do not understand what I meant. I got to be a sexy black Steven Spielberg to my slave already in bed, it just relaxes me. Happy Valentine's D!
Lara Victore (in Europe now. Please stop begging for real time sessions in California; except if you are prepared to buy me one of those Virgin Atlantic planes. I will be in New York in August) 
http://www.starparis.com

_____________________________

Nothing is sexier than a praying man:
"I revealed Your character & Your very Self, & I will continue to make [You] known, that the love which You have bestowed upon Me may be in them & that I may be in them. By Master King J.C. John17,26


(in reply to womenrule)
Profile   Post #: 247
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