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I know my kink isn't for everybody, but ... - 1/23/2005 4:00:36 PM

Posts: 35
Joined: 1/18/2005
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... I joined collarme sometime early last week. Since then I've been lucky enough to jump into different cars with two different men and give two blowjobs, which is precisely what I came looking for when I joined.

Anonymous blowjobs are not the only thing I'm looking for and I hope no one feels compelled to belabor the point that there's a lot more to be found in inter-personal relating than is available to a sleazy encounter with a stranger in the front seat of his car. I know that. I just like what I like and when it's good, as it was earlier today, I like it a LOT.

RE: I know my kink isn't for everybody, but ... - 1/24/2005 5:14:21 PM

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Just make sure those cocks are clean or have STD marks and you should be okay. Perhaps you can politly ask that the guy be shaved to rule out the chance of getting crabs. Any how enjoy your oral fettish and don't mind posting out it all turns out if some unhealthy issuse arrises for you.

Have fun as I'm sure most guys aren't going to turn you down on your offers.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to Mouthy)

RE: I know my kink isn't for everybody, but ... - 1/24/2005 6:36:46 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
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You can still get crabs even tho he's shaved. Crabs burrow under the skin as well as the hair shaft, Being shaved is no protection.

I know you were being facetious tho I just wanted to point that out for someone who might actually belive shaving will save you.

_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

RE: I know my kink isn't for everybody, but ... - 1/24/2005 7:28:53 PM

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Don't want to rain on anyone's parade, but if these are strangers, you have a very risky fetish.

Shaved or not, there are much worse things out there than crabs. Performing oral on somebody you don't know is simply a variation on russian roulette. You do it long enough, with enough people and your going to pay dearly. If you want to live to a ripe old age, or at least live disease free, I suggest you modify your fetish. At a minimum, you should be using condoms (I didn't see that in your post, maybe you are).

If your not not talking about strangers, disregard what I've written.

< Message edited by Atavist -- 1/24/2005 7:33:11 PM >

(in reply to Mouthy)

RE: I know my kink isn't for everybody, but ... - 1/24/2005 9:33:51 PM

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When I first read Mouthy's post I immediately got an erection (all this talk of bluntness)... I too share that stranger sex fantasy. My guess is many of us do. Certainly makes for good role play or wankin' material :)

That said... though I'd like to participate in stranger sex, I do not act on it for several reasons (well, not anymore lol). Not only the risk of disease, but there are some really dangerous people out there.. violent, 'abbie normal' types. They aren't just on TV..... plus as a male I also must be mindful of other risks: ie false allegations, vengeful partners and the like. It does happen - and it's not limited to strangers either.

I'm not judging Mouthy's fetish... she's a grown up capable of making her own choices. I'm assuming she has some sort of filtering process... and the risk she's willing to take is her decision. I've done some risky things in my days as well - haven't we all. I guess it comes down to what risks we are willing to take at any given point in our lives.

Tossing my $.02 into the hat....

best,
Joshua

_____________________________

"Egotism is the anesthetic which nature gives us to deaden the pain of being a fool." - Dr Herbert Schofield

(in reply to Atavist)

RE: I know my kink isn't for everybody, but ... - 1/26/2005 4:57:08 PM

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i like the idea of glory holes......mmmmm..but if i ever get round to forfilling that fantasy there is no way i would let them cum in my mouth..over my thighs or boobs would be nice though...mmmmm

(in reply to Bigbossman4u)

RE: I know my kink isn't for everybody, but ... - 1/30/2005 4:23:32 PM

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The only reason to go in pursuit of this particular kink for real, vallynz, as opposed to doing it in role play with somebody you know, is if for reasons of your own you feel you HAVE to. It's high-risk and stupid. I know that. I spent a lot of years trying to find what appeared to me to be the golden mean of BDSM relationships--some perfect, flexible, funny, stern and certain, articulate, attentive man whose orders I would obey absolutely while enjoying a permanent state of lust and limitless trust. What I found was a few good scenes and a few that left me sad and lonely. What I learned was that I was naive and inexperienced and that I know NOTHING about how to maintain a healthy intimate relationship.

So, I stopped looking and while the years passed I spent my energies on my job and trying to mature as a human being. But I still get horny, so I post ads on websites, I be as honest as I can with the men who respond to my overtures, I say no at the first sign that somebody may be a creep, and I accept that I'm putting myself at risk. I STILL think it's stupid of me! But I do it and, when it's good, I just LOVE it that I gave myself the memories that I have. When it's bad, though, it's bad in a really icky way, and I don't mean that I've ever had it go bad in some highly dramatic way--I haven't--although that's certainly possible. The more pervasive ickiness I go through is that I can feel sordid and that I've wasted myself in pursuits that were beneath me. I can feel depressed and lonesome.

(in reply to vallynz)

RE: I know my kink isn't for everybody, but ... - 2/2/2005 5:17:35 PM

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it is indeed a long road we tread..............

(in reply to Mouthy)

RE: I know my kink isn't for everybody, but ... - 2/3/2005 8:55:00 AM

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Joined: 8/12/2004
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Play how you like, but be aware of the risks.

Especially with std's since if you get infected,you will put these men at risk. And you should have enough ethics not to risk the health of others, even if you are willing to risk your own.

(in reply to vallynz)

RE: I know my kink isn't for everybody, but ... - 2/4/2005 4:22:27 PM

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From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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Ok, I don't know that I'm doing you a favor by pointing you in a direction where you can find what you seek, but.. you are an adult and can make your own decisions. I do encourage you to minimize your risks with condoms and common sense. You need to go to the Adult Friend Finder dating site and visit the chat room for your region. (google adult friend finder to get the addy) You will find lots of men looking to hook up for quick, no strings sexual fun and stranger sex. Please keep in mind, that while you have this compulsion for now, you may not have it for the rest of your life. I can't say it enough.. minimize your risks.

I also advise seeking the help of a KAP therapist (kink aware professionals) http://www.bannon.com/kap/ or sex therapist. I am not saying there is anything wrong with your kink. I'm saying that you are indulging in a high risk behaviour and it would be good to know if it is something that is just a part of you, or something from a trauma in your distant past. This may turn out to be just something you enjoy, like some people enjoy jumping out of airplanes. It is such an unusual expression of high risk behaviour that you do owe it to yourself to make sure it is what YOU want, rather than a trauma replay. Again.. be as safe as you can while indulging what you need.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to Mouthy)

RE: I know my kink isn't for everybody, but ... - 2/5/2005 4:33:18 PM

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Hats off to you, Mouthy, for coming out and doing what feels right for you.

The gay male community, since forever, has known of many, many men who enjoy multiple and/or anonymous blowjobs. Of course, problems with AIDS, herpes and such are more common with gay males. But I think the evidence still shows that anal sex is the biggest culprit of AIDS. And there are gay males who have literally given thousands of blow-jobs in glory holes. Thousands of blowjobs does increase the odds of contracting something! A reasonable degree of caution can help a bunch. Furthermore, a woman such as Mouthy can manage to be more careful to pick a safe cock, then a street-walker who has sex with whoever has the money.

There are lots of hetero women who like to suck men. But for some reason, most everyone says it is wrong for a woman to want to have sex (especially blowjobs) with more than one man. Lets face it. It should be considered just as normal and natural for hetero women to want to suck guys as it is for gay males to have a thing for that!

(in reply to Mouthy)

RE: I know my kink isn't for everybody, but ... - 2/5/2005 7:55:40 PM

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I'm with you Fyrefly to a point, this concern with health risk seems so far out of whack with the actual risk as I understand it that one must question if it is motivated some other objection. I am training my wife to suck a lot of cock, and absolutely what them bare in her mouth. She does also, as the taste and smell is a big part of the experiance. I do not want her servicing a lot of gay guys or lots of guys who don't see a doctor regualarly, but I don't think of servicing with her mouth as very risky. I do have more concerns about many guys using her other holes unprotected. She wants to be made to full service truckers and hitchhikers, which is a safety problem in my eyes, and not only for disease reasons. We will probably do it, but it will be more treat than diet.

As for a cultural bias against women sucking lots of cock- from what I hear teenagers sure don't agree. We come from a swinging background and never noticed such a bias at the clubs. Never felt much concern about safety from the guys either, as only once did a guy insist upon wearing a condom for her mouth. After that experiance it is a safe bet that any guy who demands using one will be excluded.

< Message edited by ICGsteve -- 2/6/2005 4:21:08 PM >

(in reply to fyrefly)

RE: I know my kink isn't for everybody, but ... - 2/6/2005 5:43:04 AM

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

and I accept that I'm putting myself at risk.

The problem is not what you have accepted in your self for
as an adult you have that right HOWEVER whats not accepted
is your unsafe practice on others and assumption that they
know the risks in your desire. you are a timebomb and I
have seen others like you whom have distroyed communitys
with their unsafe and insane and in most cases on oneside
unconsensual if all the facts are not presented beforhand kink.
OUR LIFESTYLE IS ABOUT SAFE, SANE, AND CONCENSUAL even
from Sadists and self distroyers of which you are NOT one.

quote:

Anonymous blowjobs are not the only thing I'm looking for

these words are scarry in the world to day for it states that your
meetings are in fact anonymous therefor neither you nor your
partner know anything about one another. Im not usually one to
raise flags to the Masses but after a year here this will be My first.
There are far to many newbies here on this site now and I would
absolutly abhore if one of them got caught up with you not knowing
the full ramifications of their actions with you. MODERATORS.... heads up!

(in reply to ICGsteve)

RE: I know my kink isn't for everybody, but ... - 2/6/2005 5:47:12 AM

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oh yea Mouthy your kink CAN be practiced in a safe, sane and concensual way
HOWEVER you seem to desire to forgo this very important and defined rule of
OUR BDSM LIFESTYLE............... Hence My words.......JMPO

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

RE: I know my kink isn't for everybody, but ... - 2/6/2005 5:53:08 AM

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fyrefly
this is not about sex with woman or gay men or even blow jobs but
this is about the breaking of Lifestyle rules to pursue a kink which
can be persued in a safe sane manner and is not, plain and simple.

If I dident enjoy this same kink in a safe sane manner I would not
be so verbal about the wrong that My Sadistic eyes see in protecting
My Lifestyle Choices to keep its rules and proticals intact when others
persue their kinks in manners not safe to those with in My Lifestyle.

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

RE: I know my kink isn't for everybody, but ... - 2/6/2005 9:42:45 AM

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Joined: 6/14/2004
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I suggest that you take 15 minutes and do a google search on oral sex and disease transmission.

When your done you might reconsider training your wife to "suck alot of cock bare in her mouth".

AIDS, Syphilis, Herpes and other diseases can all be transmitted orally. Don't take my word, look it up.

Assuming you've already done this and you really don't care, then I ask you - are you prepared to take care of your wife when she contracts AIDS?

(in reply to fyrefly)

RE: I know my kink isn't for everybody, but ... - 2/6/2005 5:47:24 PM

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Joined: 2/2/2005
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Sure it can happen that something nasty is transmitted through oral sex, but it is so very rare that so long as one takes some care in choosing the men I don't see how it becomes a factor in the decision of doing this activity or not. It is a relatively safe activity. If it should become unsafe again we will first see concern in the swinger community, then the closing of the clubs. Until or unless this happens this concern with oral sex safety is unfounded based upon the facts as I know them.

Do I have the right to have my wife do this? It is her idea. I actually hold her back as I am more risk averse then she is. So ya, my "forcing" my wife to suck off many guys is reasonable, and is in fact me being supportive of her kink.

Again, absent any factual evidence that this practice currently is risky, one must question what motivates the concern voiced in this thread. I understand that there is a difference between swingers and BDSM communities, as in the former every act is the choice of the person committing it, and this is less true in the latter. Risk is distributed differently. However, if there is little significant actual risk in the act preformed then this concern with safety and demand that every act be protected is strange. Something else is at work here. Maybe it is the memory of Aids years ago, which also distroyed the swinger community at the time but it is back big time. If so one must wonder what is the reason for the BDSM community being slower to respond to the new realities. Maybe it is a distaste towards multible partners, but given that the society over all is continueing a long drift towards poly sex this seems like a doomed last stand against the times. Maybe Fyrefly is correct that it is a dislike of women being equal to men, as in equally free to be polysexual and enjoying it. Men have done it for generations, if women want to then they should be cheered on, not loaded down with factually false safety lecture and thus shamed back into their historical place.

Mistressdread, You claim that every possible risk must be mitigated if possible is interesting but I think not correct. I beleive that the community pushes for a reasonable trade-off between safety and enjoyment. In our view unprotected oral sex is more enjoyable and a reasonable risk trade-off, in your view it is not. Maybe the entire community places the line where you do, but I do not know that this is true. I am certainly not going to take your word for it.

(in reply to Atavist)

RE: I know my kink isn't for everybody, but ... - 2/6/2005 6:03:13 PM

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enjoy your coldsores..... Mouthy

_____________________________

Some of us have an inane knack for calling people on their Bullshit... I just choose to retort with bitter dry Sarcasm, and occasionaly it sinks in. Mostly, I just look like an ass.

(in reply to ICGsteve)

RE: I know my kink isn't for everybody, but ... - 2/6/2005 6:25:50 PM

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Atavist

I suggest that you take 15 minutes and do a google search on oral sex and disease transmission.

When your done you might reconsider training your wife to "suck alot of cock bare in her mouth".

AIDS, Syphilis, Herpes and other diseases can all be transmitted orally. Don't take my word, look it up.

Assuming you've already done this and you really don't care, then I ask you - are you prepared to take care of your wife when she contracts AIDS?

I'm so glad to see this here. I was in the process of doing a reply to that ICGsteve person.. GRRR. How can anyone expose their spouse to the myriad of diseases that can be transmitted via unprotected oral sex? The risks as he understands it??? Lets see what all can be transmitted via unprotected oral sex..

HIV infection
Herpes
Yeast infections
gonorrhea
syphilis
human papillomavirus (HPV), the virus that causes genital warts
chlamydia
Hepatitis A (if hands or mouth come in contact with feces or parts of the body contaminated with feces.)
Hepatitis B
Hepatitis C

I shudder to think what this man considers risks. And what does he consider factual evidence? My info is from the CDC. http://www.cdc.gov/ It scares me that there are people out there who put their partners at risk without doing the proper research. I love how he backtracked and it went from him wanting it to his supporting her kink. *sad sigh*

< Message edited by BeachMystress -- 2/6/2005 6:28:55 PM >

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to Atavist)

RE: I know my kink isn't for everybody, but ... - 2/6/2005 6:41:20 PM

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Joined: 6/14/2004
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You haven't checked your facts. See BeachMystress's post below, then check the link she posted to the CDC.

I can only assume you'd rather rationalize about how stodgey and passe' the bdsm community is because it suits your kink, regardless of the consequences.

The sad part is, your wife is the one who's going to pay dearly. Its simply a matter of probabilities. So, what are you going to do when she contracts herpes, or some other communicable disease? Seriously.

(in reply to ICGsteve)

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