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RE: BDSM portrayal in Movies - 6/15/2007 3:20:52 PM

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I liked the idea of "Secretary" more than the actual film. It makes some good points, but I couldn't buy Spader. Moreover, his ambivalence about his own dominance annoyed the bejesus out of me. However, the real reason it fell flat for me is that it makes a connection between mental illness and kink. As watered down as it was, for the vanilla masses, it was titillating and mildly interesting.

What I did really like was the setting and cinematography that was reminiscant of "A Clockwork Orange" in some ways.

So, I'm on the fence, uncharacteristically. Maybe not so much on the fence, since I own a copy of the film. Still, I'd rather watch Tracy/Hepburn interaction any day!

It seems to me that references to BDSM/kink/insert your phrase of choice are becoming more and more prevalent in all sorts of media. It could be that I'm just more aware or even hyper-sensitive. Frankly, I like my kink closeted (grin). Is anyone else annoyed by this?

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RE: BDSM portrayal in Movies - 6/15/2007 7:37:52 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedheadGirlNY

I liked the idea of "Secretary" more than the actual film. It makes some good points, but I couldn't buy Spader. Moreover, his ambivalence about his own dominance annoyed the bejesus out of me. However, the real reason it fell flat for me is that it makes a connection between mental illness and kink. As watered down as it was, for the vanilla masses, it was titillating and mildly interesting.

What I did really like was the setting and cinematography that was reminiscant of "A Clockwork Orange" in some ways.

So, I'm on the fence, uncharacteristically. Maybe not so much on the fence, since I own a copy of the film. Still, I'd rather watch Tracy/Hepburn interaction any day!

It seems to me that references to BDSM/kink/insert your phrase of choice are becoming more and more prevalent in all sorts of media. It could be that I'm just more aware or even hyper-sensitive. Frankly, I like my kink closeted (grin). Is anyone else annoyed by this?

i agree with you on the film.
and i do get a little annoyed at the bdsm references in the media. kinda makes me feel like someone found my secret hiding place or something!
although...i did like the episode of family guy in which stewie discovered he was a masochist. lol

(in reply to RedheadGirlNY)

RE: BDSM portrayal in Movies - 6/20/2007 3:45:01 AM

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The Secretary was a great movie. I watched it years and years ago way before I put a name to the way I was :) I haven't seen The Pet yet but have been told it's a load of rubbish and not worth watching.

And oh yes, 9 1/2 weeks, a real favourite of mine - must remember and rent that out again soon ! Mickey Rourke was brilliant - especially the part when he took his girl shopping, she tried on a suit, and he said to the salesperson "I'll take it", Kim Bassinger looked at him and said "aren't you going to ask me what I think of it" and he just shook his head with a domly grin "no" - mmmm brilliant!!!!!!!!

To the person who was curious about Boxing Helena, there was nothing BDSM about it, and pesonally I found it a bit sick and a quite boring.

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RE: BDSM portrayal in Movies - 6/20/2007 10:54:39 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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even the latest gorno films (Saw, Hostel and soon-to-be released Captivity) are featuring BDSM mixed with the gore and horror in them ...it seems to be a growing trend with horror film directors now

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RE: BDSM portrayal in Movies - 7/16/2007 2:00:10 PM

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Cronenberg's Videodrome.... enough said

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RE: BDSM portrayal in Movies - 7/16/2007 6:20:17 PM

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The Secretary had some funny parts to it. But overall I wasn't too happy with it. It portrayed both the Dom and the sub as victims of mental disorders and of course as we all know <insert heavy sarcasm here> anyone in BDSM must have a screw loose. This is how the public percieves us because this is how the media reinforces that belief. Between her dependent personality disorder and his issues I just really couldn't enjoy it all that much. I would much rather have seen it done differently. But hey its hollywood so you take what you get.

~Lashra

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RE: BDSM portrayal in Movies - 7/18/2007 10:54:47 AM

SweetAndInnocent

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

The Secretary had some funny parts to it. But overall I wasn't too happy with it. It portrayed both the Dom and the sub as victims of mental disorders and of course as we all know <insert heavy sarcasm here> anyone in BDSM must have a screw loose. This is how the public percieves us because this is how the media reinforces that belief. Between her dependent personality disorder and his issues I just really couldn't enjoy it all that much. I would much rather have seen it done differently. But hey its hollywood so you take what you get.

~Lashra

I agree with this completely. That has always been my problem with the movie. It leads everyone to believe that to be interested in BDSM, you must be nuts.

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RE: BDSM portrayal in Movies - 7/18/2007 3:04:49 PM

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I recently saw a French film called The Piano Teacher (La Pianiste) that I found quite intriguing. It's primarily a character study and it moves a little slowly, but I would recommend checking it out.

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RE: BDSM portrayal in Movies - 7/18/2007 3:15:44 PM

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Loved The Secretary....wish it had a sequel that really went into the D's part of the relationship

edited for spelling...shouldn't watch tv and type...lol

< Message edited by DrkJourney -- 7/18/2007 3:19:18 PM >

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RE: BDSM portrayal in Movies - 7/18/2007 9:42:33 PM

MistressStiletto

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I enjoyed Secretary for the profile of a sub woman. However, I thought the writers could have made James Spader's character a bit more Dominant. I mean, he was totally sub to his exwife, and seemed unsure of how to treat Maggie Gyllenhaal's character, especially once she made it clear she wanted to be led.
I suppose the one great thing this movie did accomplish was to get people talking about things they might not talk about otherwise.

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RE: BDSM portrayal in Movies - 7/19/2007 3:45:22 AM

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i watched this many years ago...with my long term vanilla gf....it really showed the differences in our tastes...i saw the positives and the erotism of the film...she saw the damage and didnt see anything sexy in it at all.....suprise suprise...were not together anymore...

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RE: BDSM portrayal in Movies - 7/20/2007 5:58:45 PM

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BDSM themed movies have been a hot topic lately...the other night at the munch...the other night while talking to a Dom...

Anyway...I loved Secretary. I own a copy of it and personally, I didn't think it portrayed people who were into BDSM as having to suffer from a mental illness. In fact, I went the opposite way with it thinking that BDSM is what allowed "Lee" to cope because it wasn't until she embraced her desire to submit that she was no longer a threat to herself. And Mr. Grey's character - well, from the several of the Dom's I've spoken to - it is difficult to balance the desire to dominate and inflict pain everything else we are taught.

A film that is rarely mentioned, but that I love is Original Sin. Angelina Jolie's character and her lover (not Antonio Banderas but the blonde guy) have a very D/s and S/m relationship. Its not a major part of the movie (a la Secretary) but I liked the added element.

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RE: BDSM portrayal in Movies - 7/21/2007 12:36:48 PM

sambamanslilgirl

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don't know if this movie was mentioned but Crash (with James Spader, Holly Hunter) is good BDSM/fetish movie about a guy after a horrible accident uses the sub-world of accident fetish to restart his love life between his wife and mistress

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RE: BDSM portrayal in Movies - 7/21/2007 7:11:57 PM

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Try "Mercy" circa 1998 with Ellen Barkin and the lovely Peta Wilson. For the year it came was pretty cutting edge..

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RE: BDSM portrayal in Movies - 7/21/2007 11:30:39 PM

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i was watching some old movies the other day and looking at something like the Sound of Music with new eyes....well lets just say i want to find a Captain of my own *swoon*

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RE: BDSM portrayal in Movies - 7/22/2007 2:02:53 PM

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I thought the Secretary showed two people who were able to finally become healthy and happy by embracing a D/s relationship. I think it's possible that some will interpret it as "anyone into bdsm must be mentally ill" but i did not see it that way at all. Yes she is not well in the beginning but through her relationship with him she becomes well and he is able to finally love instead of simply going through woman after woman. Maybe it's just because i can relate to many of the themes in the movie that i love it but i think it portrays bdsm in a very positive light, as something through which two people were able to find love. :)

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RE: BDSM portrayal in Movies - 7/23/2007 3:50:14 PM

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IMHO, The Secretary is not only one of the best D/s movies I have ever seen, but one of the best movies period. They show the emotional struggle that often goes on for people who are new to the lifestyle, or in people who have been in to it for years but think they are the only one. The way that Mr.Grey feels about what he does seems to be just that to me...the struggle probably comes from someone who was raised in a very closed off home, and who thinks that they are the only person who could possibly be into anything this "sick and twisted". And ya know...most folks I have talked to around here thought just that when they were new to it all. It just takes someone or something showing you that you are not alone in your desires, just as Lee does for Mr.Grey. Likewise, Mr.Grey shows Lee a whole new side of life she never knew existed, which imho is what allows her to show him that he is not alone.

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RE: BDSM portrayal in Movies - 7/23/2007 8:10:06 PM

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I have to see "The Secretary" at some point. It seems to be the one of the first things anyone mentions when talking about BDSM. From the bit I have seen and heard of it, it seems to me to focus more on the kink/ physical aspects. It could be because most people do focus primarily on that aspect of things. Again, I have yet to see the movie, so I could be wrong. I also want to see "The Pet", but from the previews, I think it may take a wrong turn somehwhere near Albuquerque. Quite possibly because the director had a sociopolitical statement to make and wanted to show the evils of slavery.

I saw "9 1/2 Weeks" shortly after it came out. I think I was 15 or so. I found it very hot and very intriguing. It did help to lead me in the direction of this lifestyle. After 20ish years, though it's still hot, I find "9 1/2 Weeks" paints a picture of the bad and damaging flavor of D/s. "The Story of O" was very good indeed. But you have to look past the kink and the sex to get to the heart of the matter. Though I love the story (the book - not the movies, they changed too much of the story and ruined the purity of the M/s relationship) I felt I had to wade through too much physicallity to get to the D/s.

Call me wierd, and maybe I see D/s in a very different way than most.

Recently I saw "My Fair Lady" again. That to me is a wonderful example of the D/s, M/s dynamic. Professor Henry Higgens was a damned sexy bastard. He saw the potential that was in Eliza. Even Eliza herself could see nothing more than what she was at present, a "filthy gutter snipe", barely one step above a beggar in the street selling flowers. He said he could turn her into a "lady in a flower shop." He took her and taught her, molded her into what he believed a proper lady should be. He forced her bad habits out of her, taught her poise and confindence and turned her into a prize to behold. He exceeded all expectations when people thought she was not just a lady, but a queen. Granted, she was kicking and screaming the whole way, plotting his murder and she hated him. And he thought of her as a mere object, and the task of grooming her was just to prove he could win a bet. But as she grew into her womanhood, a very deep and pasionate love for him grew. And when he saw the exceptional woman he had helped her become, he treasured and loved her too.

Then there are the old standbys of movieland. The sexiest man ever on film, John Wayne, and the beautiful Maureen O'Hara. My favorite is "The Quiet Man" but in all of them, the theme is the same. Both of them unhappy. Him because his woman did not honor and obey him the way a woman should, and her because she could not respect her husband and love him fully. When he finally stepped up to his place a man, and by force if necissary, put her in her place, all was bliss. He got what he wanted, and she got what she needed. I've often said we wouldn't need any marriage counseling - just force couples to watch old John Wayne movies.

For the classic of classics - you cannot find a better D/s story that Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew" You just can't get better than that.

I grant you, some floggings and ass slappings and the like are fun, and I do feel it between my thighs and enjoy it. Maybe I look too deeply. Maybe that is what BDSM is really all about. But if that is all a man does, he is merely an assistant in my masturbation. Now if he has the qualities of Higgens, John Wayne, and Petrichio, if he makes me into a better woman because he is such a great man that he requires a great woman, then, and only then, can he be called a master.

Respectfully,
Angelique

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RE: BDSM portrayal in Movies - 8/5/2007 9:20:43 PM

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I've seen alot of movies that skate towards the soft bondage or damsel in distress bad villian seduces her into submission type.Also the cute joke films that flirt with the lifestyle without knowing the dynamics attached .

The most graphic in your face account of a strong power dynamic is the film named sick the account of the performance artist Bob Flanagan and his Domina it's a documentary it's not for the sensitive stomached or squemish but it's such a strong power exchange and the war he had with his disease vrs his body it's graphic and at times I had to turn my head I had strong reactions I hated it loved it and wanted to scream !to me that's a damn good film that caused that strong of a viseral reaction .
Another film that effected me was night porter it's older but again shows this strong dynamic in the dimmest circumstances .Another one that is in the WW2 /nazism fetish genre is salon kitty by Tinto Brass (I haven't seen it yet but plan too )
I love foreign films along with horror /slasher and exploitation 1970's films .Independant directors not subjected to the standards of the MPAA .I'll watch any film that the director felt so strongly about making that the demographics never mattered they had a vision and art they wanted to share . I've found some real stinkers and found some diamonds in the rough when it comes to this lifestyle .
There's alot of films out there with bdsm /fetishism just finding them is like an Easter egg hunt lol films with these situations and subject matter hardly get the advertising or public awareness you find them through word of mouth .
~~~~Doll~~~

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RE: BDSM portrayal in Movies - 8/7/2007 4:25:09 PM

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I especially like the piss scene!

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