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another sicko making us look bad - 10/29/2006 5:31:45 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		http://www.wral.com/news/10174493/detail.html?taf=ral

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Sir Pain's pain slut
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RE: another sicko making us look bad - 10/29/2006 5:52:16 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		The media runs with this and just makes it sound like it is a normal BDSM thing. I grow tired of those that know nothing of BDSM trying to label us with the sickos.

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RE: another sicko making us look bad - 10/29/2006 6:45:47 PM   
Morrigel


Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline 		Yep.  He's a sicko.  Yep.  Makes anyone with similar fantasies/games look pretty bad--always makes it look bad when people do this non-consensually, which is why I really loathe the jackasses who dismiss consent as being for "pussies" or something equally insane.

Of course, sending a sex criminal to a federal penitentiary is like sending a kid who scores well on the SAT to Harvard.  The American penal system is a university of rape and torture, and depending on your sentence you can come out with an AA, a BA, or an advanced degree in Being a Sick Violent Fuck.

--M

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RE: another sicko making us look bad - 10/29/2006 6:56:45 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		I feel a need to play Devils advocate here for a minute.  Please understand that I am NOT condoning what he did if she was truly in such a horrible state when found.  There is so many ways this could have played out.  It states she was homeless prior to arriving there.  Homelessness does alot to one's mental state, choices usually are thin to none for a roof over your head.  Possibly she was agreeable to anything thinking any harsh talk was just that, talk.  It's possible that she knew him before all this and was aware of his (tastes), maybe even had once been consensual with it.  All that we dont know.  What I do see is how our media covers a story only half way for the sake of sensationalism to sell their product, and any follow up, IF there is follow up will be burried somewhere on page 72, thrid colum down in a single paragraph. 

Yes I feel for this woman, but not so much for what happened to her, but what put her there to begin with.


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RE: another sicko making us look bad - 10/29/2006 7:02:36 PM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		Yes this makes all of "us" computer geeks look really bad.

Or maybe its all of "us" who run small businesses out of our homes who really look bad, now?

My point (I think some of you will get it) is that this sad story bears NO relationship to consensual, intelligent B/D/S/M play.  So why post it as if it did?  Do YOU think what YOU do is like this?  I don't.  I don't feel any kinship with the bad male actor in this story.  It is sad that the OP apparently feels some kinship to the woman victim.

Or maybe she should just rethink the title of this thread?

E.

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"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
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RE: another sicko making us look bad - 10/29/2006 7:04:36 PM   
MstrssScarlet


Posts: 633
Joined: 6/3/2005
From: Indianapolis, Indiana
Status: offline 		Maybe I'm missing something here.  Perhaps the followup stories?  There's no mention of BDSM in the article.  The closest they come is where he made her call him "Lord and Master".  That's just a pervert's ego trip.  The rest of the story just gives the details of how she was tortured and mistreated (including sexually) by a stranger against her will.  I don't really think everyone is going to make the jump in their reasoning to the BDSM lifestyle just because he tied her up with rope and hit her with a belt.  Could be wrong.....
Mistress Scarlet

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RE: another sicko making us look bad - 10/29/2006 7:28:31 PM   
Morrigel


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet
I don't really think everyone is going to make the jump in their reasoning to the BDSM lifestyle just because he tied her up with rope and hit her with a belt.  Could be wrong.....


Yep.  Sorry, but I think you are.  Everyone who reads this story and is not deeply indoctrinated into the lifestyle is going to think of this guy and his brutality every time they hear the word "master" or see/hear of a woman being tied up.

It's not about what WE know, it's about what the world knows, and what they can be made to understand.  Guys like this make it a lot harder for normal BDSM lovers to be accepted or understood. 

--M

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RE: another sicko making us look bad - 10/29/2006 7:50:20 PM   
PiercedDaz


Posts: 121
Joined: 10/16/2006
Status: offline 		Nope, I'm missing something here too. I didn't see BDSM or D/s or bondage mentioned anywhere. Hell, I was in the military for a very long time. I've tied people up, I've beaten people up and I've even had sex with girls. I didn't realise that I was an ambassador for the BDSM community too!  lol

Ok, I'm sorry if that sounded too flippant. The point that I'm trying to make is that if marginalised communities are only ever on the defensive, surely this will lead to learned behaviour and self fulfilling prophesies.

Think about it...are you going to hate ALL car drivers just because a drunk mowed down a kid on the pavement?

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RE: another sicko making us look bad - 10/29/2006 8:04:06 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Sorry I should have clarifed. I thought my post was with the url but it wasn't. This particular news station had a pyschiatrist on who said this man admitted to having BDSM fantasies and BDSM mags and things in his house. The psych doc said people involved in BDSM had deviant fantasies that deserved medical attention. So for those of you missing something here it is!.

< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 10/29/2006 8:06:42 PM >

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RE: another sicko making us look bad - 10/29/2006 8:05:23 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		You also forget vanilla people dont understand the difference between you tying people up as being concensual and fun and you being a deviant. 

< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 10/29/2006 8:06:06 PM >

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Sir Pain's pain slut

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RE: another sicko making us look bad - 10/29/2006 8:08:27 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Shrug.  Basically I agree, but I also wonder why it really matters, in the end, whether we're accepted and understood.  Sure, in an ideal world, it would be nice if everyone else understood who we were and respected us, and so on, but that's just not going to happen.  People are people, and they're always going to accept what they want to accept and reject what they want to reject.  If people reject me because of something that some criminal did, then why exactly do I want to be accepted by those people in the first place?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel

It's not about what WE know, it's about what the world knows, and what they can be made to understand.  Guys like this make it a lot harder for normal BDSM lovers to be accepted or understood.

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RE: another sicko making us look bad - 10/29/2006 8:10:40 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Shrug.  Basically I agree, but I also wonder why it really matters, in the end, whether we're accepted and understood.  Sure, in an ideal world, it would be nice if everyone else understood who we were and respected us, and so on, but that's just not going to happen.  People are people, and they're always going to accept what they want to accept and reject what they want to reject.  If people reject me because of something that some criminal did, then why exactly do I want to be accepted by those people in the first place?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel

It's not about what WE know, it's about what the world knows, and what they can be made to understand.  Guys like this make it a lot harder for normal BDSM lovers to be accepted or understood.



Personally after 12 years of doing this I dont really care what others think. If they dont like it. I do not really care. Some people I know are on a need to know basis. Some cannot and will not accept certain things. Just life.

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RE: another sicko making us look bad - 10/29/2006 8:21:36 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

You also forget vanilla people dont understand the difference between you tying people up as being concensual and fun and you being a deviant. 


Some of them do, I think, or are more open-minded than we realize.  I've been chatting on a friendship level with my landscaper lately and we are planning to go out and have some drinks together and hang out.  One day, when we were talking, bdsm came up.  He was telling me about a friend of his who tends bar in the area and how he gets all these wealthy unhappily married princesses at his bar hitting on him and confessing 'fetish' type desires such as being tied up and things of that nature.  I found that the perfect opportunity to tell him of my own preferences.  He didn't at all freak out about it and is quite willing to consider it and talk about it further.  Also, these women at his buddie's bar would be viewed as and believed to be 'vanilla'.  So I wouldnt say that all 'vanilla' people or even most of them would consider bdsm so deviant.  I have found the opposite, and have found that the few people (some family members and a few friends) that I've come out to , are not only understanding of it, but admit to a curiosity or desire for it themselves.

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marie.


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RE: another sicko making us look bad - 10/29/2006 8:26:34 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Maybe some do. In my town of 2500. Thinking no. I work an hour from home at a large university hospital and have talked to some co workers that might be considered vanilla about it. Some took an interest some thought it was extremely strange. All depends I guess.

< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 10/29/2006 8:42:10 PM >

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RE: another sicko making us look bad - 10/29/2006 8:40:36 PM   
Sanity


Posts: 22039
Joined: 6/14/2006
From: Nampa, Idaho USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet
I don't really think everyone is going to make the jump in their reasoning to the BDSM lifestyle just because he tied her up with rope and hit her with a belt.  Could be wrong.....


Yep.  Sorry, but I think you are.  Everyone who reads this story and is not deeply indoctrinated into the lifestyle is going to think of this guy and his brutality every time they hear the word "master" or see/hear of a woman being tied up.

It's not about what WE know, it's about what the world knows, and what they can be made to understand.  Guys like this make it a lot harder for normal BDSM lovers to be accepted or understood. 

--M


I have to disagree. The BDSM lifestyle is a lot more mainstream than you seem to think that it is. Look at what Madonna has done. Look at the way punk kids dress on the streets. Prime time tv shows, magazines, Dr. Ruth, you name it - BDSM is out there, front and center. And like it or not, a lot of people just yawn whenever it is mentioned anymore. Anyone who doesn't know that most BDSM  is consensual must be from outer space, or maybe they've been in a coma for the last 50 years. The bottom line is, people who see that story will know that this criminal doesn't represent anyone or anything other than himself.

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RE: another sicko making us look bad - 10/29/2006 8:47:00 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

Some took an interest some thought it was extremely strange.


I guess all types are out there.  And I often wonder if those who find it "extremely strange" are the ones who have 'closet' bdsm desires.  lol.

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marie.


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RE: another sicko making us look bad - 10/30/2006 2:01:22 AM   
Morrigel


Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sanity
I have to disagree. The BDSM lifestyle is a lot more mainstream than you seem to think that it is. Look at what Madonna has done. Look at the way punk kids dress on the streets.


BDSM fashion may be mainstream, and BDSM fantasies are being more commonly exploited for "titillation" factor in some media.  But in my experience, real BDSM practices and lifestyles are not commonly accepted, understood or tolerated in any standard vanilla workplace, nor in the context of raising a family.

There are many authorities who would regard a penchant for spanking in your personal sex life as MORE than sufficient evidence that you are an unfit parent or an undesirable employee.  In the case of parenting, it is assumed that if you enjoy BDSM sex with consenting adults, you are just as likely to beat and rape your own children for kicks.  And I am sure more than one person here could tell you a story about being "outed" to family or co-workers, and how the attitudes of formerly friendly people changed once they were made aware of BDSM tendencies.

I'm sorry, but I think that being associated with people like this creep (and Nazis, for that matter) is part of the problem.  BDSM, like many other forms of alternative sexuality, is fighting its way out of being categorized as a "pathological" set of desires.  Guys like this do NOT help.

--M

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RE: another sicko making us look bad - 10/30/2006 3:09:18 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greetings to all 
 
i just came across this and i just got some of what is going on what i found out was this from many of the replyies i see that a man has beaten a woman veryy badly please correct is i am wrong, and it is many views that he makes bdsm look bad. remember when you do write me back correct my mistake but lets us be fair there are some of bdsm commuinty who do go over board it is fair to say that now everyone here is angel i had many women write me and tell me of horror stories not many but there are so bad apples in ever basket not ever group can be good some are bad just plain bad but all of the doms and master and dommes i spoke and written to are wonderful but there is some who are not right that is my opinion but if i have the story wrong please do not wait write and let me me
 
mons

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RE: another sicko making us look bad - 10/30/2006 1:49:42 PM   
RLowner


Posts: 23
Joined: 11/26/2005
Status: offline 		You are forgetting one important thing the LAW  Here in Michigan they just passsed a new law within the last year making our activity illeagle. Furthermore the girl does not have to testify as to any involvement. If they can see signs (marks) on the body then the guy is going to be charged and jailed. It is a new side of the domestic violance laws where anything seen is called evidence with or without the girls signing a complaint. All I can say is  it is about as bad as the common domestic abuse law. We all need to understand that in some countries you can walk around  naked or some what so but nit in the US. So read and understand your states laws even back from the 1700 hundreds. Never asume  that what you doing it consensual as in most cases the laws say other wise. WE all need to be careful and know our partner and most of all respect eachother. Never assume that your safe in your own home for if a neighbor should see or suspect something the police are going to investigate I can promise you that. I am not taking sides or debating the issue only stating FACTS and I know those very well from past employment. SO all be careful and stay safe

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RE: another sicko making us look bad - 10/30/2006 3:53:55 PM   
Sanity


Posts: 22039
Joined: 6/14/2006
From: Nampa, Idaho USA
Status: offline 		I have to agree with you on that one. There ARE a lot of bad apples within the community, and this guy COULD have picked that woman up online. She was reported to be homeless, maybe she went online at a library. Who knows. In sad sort of way it might be good that this sort of thing gets publicity because it might save some people from a whole lot of grief. Everyone has to be very careful when meeting someone new, and this sort of thing is one reason why.

.
quote:

ORIGINAL: mons

greetings to all 
 
i just came across this and i just got some of what is going on what i found out was this from many of the replyies i see that a man has beaten a woman veryy badly please correct is i am wrong, and it is many views that he makes bdsm look bad. remember when you do write me back correct my mistake but lets us be fair there are some of bdsm commuinty who do go over board it is fair to say that now everyone here is angel i had many women write me and tell me of horror stories not many but there are so bad apples in ever basket not ever group can be good some are bad just plain bad but all of the doms and master and dommes i spoke and written to are wonderful but there is some who are not right that is my opinion but if i have the story wrong please do not wait write and let me me
 
mons

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