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cuckold - 11/5/2006 6:25:40 PM   
littledad1


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		why are there so few women interested in the cuckold lifestyle also if any of you are into it i would be interested in what you get out of such a relationship
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: cuckold - 11/5/2006 6:47:20 PM   
kirkzhom


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/2/2006
Status: offline 		I am anxious to hear the reply to this ... forgive me as an /s for responding but I was just informed this was my future and I shall be obedient ... but I am reeling.  I was so unprepared for that.  She told me that I would learn to take pleasure in seeing Her pleasured, so maybe from me it is the ultimate focus on Her pleasure rather than mine.  Again, I don't know, I'm just an /s but She didn't present it in terms of degradation or insult of my "equipment"; it was a simple - roughly paraphrased: "You will never, ever, get inside this [indication obvious] with your [cock].  You may get to watch and you will learn in a perverse way to enjoy that ... to enjoy the fact that I am being pleasured."  While I would have thought "No Way" if asked objectively, I found myself, and find myself as I post this reaffirming the "As You Wish" that makes me an /s in the first place.  I shall undoubtedly want to vomit to see some filthy bar fly or strutting self important piece of ... well, you can imagine, but honestly, if She will keep me and just look at me for a second during that time, I think, with Her guidance and training, I will learn why and how this is how I am at my best for Her.  Thankfully, that raced through my head; that made me say "Yes, I understand."  The bottom line is that if that is what She wants and you are truly Her submissive, your only choice is the door and the vacant emptiness that legions on this site and elsewhere are facing.  If you are Her slave, then you already made your choice and you might as well complain or fret about the setting of the sun.  As to why more Mistresses do not choose to cuckold, I wait myself to see and learn.

(in reply to littledad1)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: cuckold - 11/5/2006 7:29:38 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kirkzhom
but I was just informed this was my future and I shall be obedient ... but I am reeling.  I was so unprepared for that <snip>

The bottom line is that if that is what She wants and you are truly Her submissive, your only choice is the door and the vacant emptiness that legions on this site and elsewhere are facing.


I think a responsible domme would check whether this activity is a limit or not, and for approaching a known limit, I think a discussion is a better approach than dictation. I think forcing a sub against a limit without discussion will create resentment. My statement assumes that the limit is indeed a limit.

Perhaps there is a part of you that finds the idea of cuckolding thrilling, in which case that is wonderful for you. However, if a sub finds cuckolding outside his limits, it is fair for him to stand by that limit. I am one such sub. I consider myself incompatible with a domme who lists cuckolding as an essential interest.

If a domme in a relationship wishes to explore cuckoldry, you are right that one option is to agree to it and another is to agree to end the relationship. Yet another is to agree to expand the relationship to non-exclusive play so that she can explore this interest elsewhere.

That said, I think agreeing to end the relationship is not as bleak an option as you describe it to be. By saying as you do, I think you send a wrong message of fear to a sub who is told to engage in any activity that lies beyond his limits.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 11/5/2006 7:34:27 PM >

(in reply to kirkzhom)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: cuckold - 11/5/2006 7:40:45 PM   
BONERY


Posts: 11
Joined: 6/13/2006
From: ?
Status: offline 		in reply to littledad1, as a chuckoled myself i want to try and ease your mind to the fact that you aren,t alone in this lifestyle,more Mistresses are into getting what they rightfully deserve and need,and one of their needs is putting their slave /submissive in their correct place,which you no doubt implied in the begining to love,honor,and obey HER orders.whether or not you decide to hit the road or stay will depend alot on how SHE feels about you, and whether your worth keeping or not. i have a strong feeling that you want to please HER, and the others,yes "plural" that SHE will introduce to your scene, won,t be as unworthy as you may believe. Remember that SHE is smarter than you, knows exactly what SHE wants and needs,and will see to it that you get just enough encouragment to stay around,and do what you promised.Believe me when i say that more Mistresses are doing this than you believe. your first time will probaly be hard for you to witness, but once you see how much enjoyment your MISTRESS is receiving in putting HER slave/submissive where he truly belongs, you will be setting up HER next meeting.been there,done that!! no regrets.  

(in reply to littledad1)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: cuckold - 11/5/2006 7:44:23 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Cute

quote:

ORIGINAL: BONERY

as a chuckoled myself

(in reply to BONERY)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: cuckold - 11/5/2006 7:55:14 PM   
kirkzhom


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/2/2006
Status: offline 		i stand with my position clarified by Sea.  There are limits.  There are hard limits which should never be violate, and there are the "i never dreamed this would come up" limits.  That said, i would say it is clearly a case of very much demand and frightfully short supply so i would not ever take an emotionally reactive "That's it, I'm outta here" approach to anything a Dom/me suggested that did not involve public humiliation or physical destruction.  Just my opinion.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: cuckold - 11/5/2006 8:03:52 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kirkzhom
i would not ever take an emotionally reactive "That's it, I'm outta here" approach to anything a Dom/me suggested that did not involve public humiliation or physical destruction.  Just my opinion.


I see your point and I think your perspective can apply to any good relationship. I think it is a good idea for one to at least listen to what a partner wishes to try without reacting out of emotion even if there is not a supply and demand issue.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to kirkzhom)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: cuckold - 11/6/2006 5:30:43 AM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littledad1

why are there so few women interested in the cuckold lifestyle also if any of you are into it i would be interested in what you get out of such a relationship


One thing with regard to this subject :

It's my feeling that this kink is /was totally perpetuated by men. To this day, it's still pressured and forced on women by men, and not the other way around.

As I mentioned in a previous post....At least six ladies I've met from collarme have complained numerously about all the messages they receive from guys they don't know that write ''Can I be your cuckold'' - Give it a rest!



 - R






_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to littledad1)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: cuckold - 11/6/2006 5:35:09 AM   
Mistrix


Posts: 186
Joined: 2/14/2006
Status: offline 		Limits have GOT to be respected, taking credence to both people that if one wants too and the other doesn't want too, it should be respected.
I personally, don't like cuckolding.  No interest, no desire, no craving none at all.  I believe the humiliation part of it is just NOT my thing.  I have seen video's of it being done and it just turn Me on at all.  So in that case, I wouldn't do a scene or go there and if my sub asked Me to do it, Nopers, not happening.   I believe in pushing limits to a certain extent but only if it's agreed upon BOTH of us.
For Me it's different strokes for different folks, doesn't mean it's right or wrong, I just don't do it.

_____________________________

I am a Woman, above everything else.

One is too many and a thousand is never enough.

(in reply to littledad1)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: cuckold - 11/6/2006 6:09:17 AM   
MistressTheaZ


Posts: 155
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline 		In the past, I've had a lot of fun with cuckold slaves...for those with whom one can twist within desire and denial, the possibilities are intense. Most of My interest centered within denial followed by chastity; I found fairly quickly that the humiliation and emasculation of such conditioning only improved the efforts of finetuning the developing personal servant slave.

Why am I 'not into it'? Simple reason: I personally found that many men who have desires or interest in becoming a cuckold partner, submissive or slave are selfishly motivated. I do not appreciate being used as a means to an end, (or a variable of the greater equation), for a slave to fulfill his voyeuristic sexual desires. I found that many were less interested in how this may be introduced or how this may make them feel and more interested in the details of a possible encounter and how it would happen. *sighs*

Turn off.

I'm sure there are many who are sincere. I just tired of discussing something seemingly only contemplated as masturbatory fodder.

Best,

~Thea



(in reply to Mistrix)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: cuckold - 11/6/2006 6:11:18 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger
It's my feeling that this kink is /was totally perpetuated by men. To this day, it's still pressured and forced on women by men, and not the other way around.


While I agree that men may initiate the idea of cuckoldry in most cases, I don't think it comes from men only. I have been contacted by and have seen profiles of dommes interested in cuckoldry.

To me cuckoldry suggests that the cuckold is the primary partner. However, I am not convinced everyone uses the term in this manner. I think in some cases cuckoldry is used to describe a situation where a cuckold is thought to be a secondary partner.

I think it is possible for some people to separate D/s wants and romantic relationship wants. Some of the profiles of women I have seen that specify cuckoldry as an interest generally do not seem to be seeking a relationship that combines D/s and romance within the cuckold relationship. They seem to seek to fulfill D/s, material, or service needs through the cuckold relationship while they seek more traditional sexual interaction elsewhere.

I have also seen long-term or otherwise seemingly committed relationships to include cuckoldry.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to UtopianRanger)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: cuckold - 11/6/2006 6:21:22 AM   
demistress


Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline 		I enjoy the idea of cuckolding, but only if the person means something to me.  I am not a performing sex monkey.  I don't like being watched for the sake of watching.  I only like cuckolding when there's a power exchange involved.

_____________________________

Mistress Heather
www.niteflirt.com/MizzSpice

Wether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: cuckold - 11/6/2006 6:29:09 AM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

quote:

ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger
It's my feeling that this kink is /was totally perpetuated by men. To this day, it's still pressured and forced on women by men, and not the other way around.


While I agree that men may initiate the idea of cuckoldry in most cases, I don't think it comes from men only. I have been contacted by and have seen profiles of dommes interested in cuckoldry.

To me cuckoldry suggests that the cuckold is the primary partner. However, I am not convinced everyone uses the term in this manner. I think in some cases cuckoldry is used to describe a situation where a cuckold is thought to be a secondary partner.

I think it is possible for some people to separate D/s wants and romantic relationship wants. Some of the profiles of women I have seen that specify cuckoldry as an interest generally do not seem to be seeking a relationship that combines D/s and romance within the cuckold relationship. They seem to seek to fulfill D/s, material, or service needs through the cuckold relationship while they seek more traditional sexual interaction elsewhere.

I have also seen long-term or otherwise seemingly committed relationships to include cuckoldry.

Cheers,

Sea


 It's an acquired taste that appreciates a select vintage from Moet-Chandon, my friend. Someone not used to it might just spit it out and think ''sour grapes''.

I don't doubt that some women like and enjoy this kink, but it's my feeling that it originally was and still is perpetuated by men.



 - R

< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 11/6/2006 6:30:26 AM >

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: cuckold - 11/6/2006 6:31:16 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		For me i will turn the boy into a cuck if i am not too attracted to him,  but if he is hot and a good lover he will serve me sexually as part of his duties.
 
 
 


_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to demistress)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: cuckold - 11/6/2006 7:09:19 AM   
MzTlaz


Posts: 140
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline 		Hmm....I too think it's perpetuated by men and have had lots of requests myself to cuck someone.  I'm still not sure how I feel about it.  I agree that it seems a fairly common male fantasy to watch 'their woman' with another man or woman for that matter and it does seem to be not much more than live porn for them.

However.....if we're really going to talk about it I don't see why the cuck actually needs to watch, surely knowing the woman is with another man or is in another room or if needs must is tied to a chair and blindfolded in the same room would fulfill the true cuckold desire.   And, that serves the Domme much more in my opinion as the control is where it should be.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: cuckold - 11/6/2006 7:13:35 AM   
BDSM05478


Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline 		I am so glad I joined CM! I never knew there was a name for this, an actual preference for this. Well in my case the roles are kinda reversed in the sense, That it is my Huband/Owner that i only have sex. It is subjecting my slave to this state that arouses me and seems to work for him as we have never had sexual intercourse in the feww years we have been together and i have subjected him to being in the same bed as I, when engaging  in sex with another. what a day!

Edit is in Italics

< Message edited by BDSM05478 -- 11/6/2006 7:23:38 AM >

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to littledad1)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: cuckold - 11/6/2006 7:36:34 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzTlaz

Hmm....I too think it's perpetuated by men and have had lots of requests myself to cuck someone.  I'm still not sure how I feel about it.  I agree that it seems a fairly common male fantasy to watch 'their woman' with another man or woman for that matter and it does seem to be not much more than live porn for them.

However.....if we're really going to talk about it I don't see why the cuck actually needs to watch, surely knowing the woman is with another man or is in another room or if needs must is tied to a chair and blindfolded in the same room would fulfill the true cuckold desire.   And, that serves the Domme much more in my opinion as the control is where it should be.


I think cuckoldry is more about emotional masochism and humiliation than it is about voyeurism. Indeed some men enjoy watching their partner with another for the voyeuristic factor or for some other reason outside BDSM. There may be people who enjoy both cuckoldry and voyeurism. I see the voyeurism draw alone to fall outside of cuckoldry.

By that statement, I agree that watching is not essential (even though it could add to the humiliation value for some people) and the scenario you describe is viable.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to MzTlaz)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: cuckold - 11/6/2006 8:32:06 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Maybe not TOTALLY, but for the most part, yes, that's what I've noticed too.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger

It's my feeling that this kink is /was totally perpetuated by men. To this day, it's still pressured and forced on women by men, and not the other way around.

(in reply to UtopianRanger)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: cuckold - 11/6/2006 9:01:55 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		I am not sure that it is a case of so few women are into it as opposed to so many men are.  If in such a situation it is enjoyable to me because it is fun as long as it is done on my terms.  I do not cater to the sub's fantasies of "first you get this type of guy and I fluff and clean while watching, etc."  Sometimes that may happen, sometimes not.  In my world, I use it as a form of play but not as a lifestyle.  I do not, and have not for a very long time had a primary cuck relationship.  I also know a few primarily vanilla couples who enjoy cuckoldry but that's about all they do. 

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: cuckold - 11/6/2006 6:43:48 PM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Maybe not TOTALLY, but for the most part, yes, that's what I've noticed too.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger

It's my feeling that this kink is /was totally perpetuated by men. To this day, it's still pressured and forced on women by men, and not the other way around.



I agree that cuckoldry is primarily perpetuated by males, with a motivation towards their own gratifications. The numbers of genuine, dominant cuckoldresses are extremely small. 

The most credible theory of cuckoldry I've ever heard from a Domme's viewpoint, is that it balanced her alpha-beta dynamics.

In short, after being in a long-term F/m relationship, she felt herself increasingly sexually attracted to certain alpha males who wouldn't give away their power to her. At the same time, she felt a diminishing sexual attraction towards her beta male. However, she loved everything else about her sub and the D/s relationship they had crafted together.  

Does this make sense to any of the Ladies here?  

< Message edited by subfever -- 11/6/2006 6:47:24 PM >

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 20
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