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when do you switch - 11/6/2006 6:04:24 AM

JulesBloke

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Hello all,

tell me do the switches here prefer to stay in a role for a scene....have a agreed time to switch or switch back and forth as either feels inclined?

Julian

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RE: when do you switch - 11/6/2006 6:08:16 AM

Pegasus54

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A switch will have one persona running at one time so she/he will be strictly sub to one and then Dom to another but never during a scene. it would not serve any purpose to try and do so and would make it impossible to enjoy submission knowing you could come out at any time.

P.

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RE: when do you switch - 11/6/2006 7:26:02 AM

PhilLogan

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When I meet a D woman of high intellect, class, style, and omnipresent feminimity---it is then that I switch.

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RE: when do you switch - 11/6/2006 7:37:56 AM

Lorelei115

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I never switch midway through a scene.. to me that would totally disrupt the flow of energies. As a top, I would feel resentful about going in the bottom role, and as a bottom I would feel disoriented about going into the top role. Maybe others are capable of it, but I can't ever see myself doing it. In fact, I rarely switch with the same person. There are people that I am dominant to (most everyone lol) and there are people I'm submissive to (about one in a million) and I find that people I am dominant to can VERY rarely dominate me effectively.

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RE: when do you switch - 11/6/2006 7:44:09 AM

BDSM05478

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I second that Lorelei115. There is only One i submit too and right now only one I Dominate. I can not switch with the same person. My needs flow one way and i see it as a personal hierarchy with in the Home. Everyone knows what the deal is and where their place is within the family.

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RE: when do you switch - 11/6/2006 9:04:11 AM

MasterFireMaam

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This is going to vary from person to person. I know people who feel Dominant towards some people and submissive towards others and they stay in this dynamic for the duration of the relationship. I know others who switch for scenes or when the energy feels like it is shifting. I know of one couple who like to wrestle for dominance. For me, my bottoming and/or service is for spiritual reasons, whether that is to serve a need in me or to serve a need in a friend or both.

Master Fire

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RE: when do you switch - 11/6/2006 12:52:54 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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I gave up trying to plan when I was going to be in what authority position- or expecting that what I plan IS what will happen. While rare, I can and do switch in scenes and when it happens, I've learned just to go with it.

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RE: when do you switch - 11/6/2006 5:19:36 PM

shadevarr

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Whenever the mood is right!

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RE: when do you switch - 11/6/2006 6:46:16 PM

MsPoetress

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Well my husband and I switch with each other. It works and it has worked for almost 2 years.

We both work demanding jobs and it takes alot out of us. There are some days that I have not worked as hard as he, and he needs someone to be in control, and then vice versa. Then there are the days when we both don't have the energy to put forth any effort, so it is vanilla sex we have. Then there are other days where it is a flip of a coin or a wrestling match (my personal favorite) to determine who shall Top.

What works for us, may not work for others.

~poe

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RE: when do you switch - 11/6/2006 7:08:30 PM

WyrdRich

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Pegasus54

A switch will have one persona running at one time so she/he will be strictly sub to one and then Dom to another but never during a scene. it would not serve any purpose to try and do so and would make it impossible to enjoy submission knowing you could come out at any time.

P.

That is certainly one opinion Peg, but I have found quite a bit of variety among the switches I have met.

   There seems to be a majority than prefers not to switch with a single party, while I have no trouble at all with it.

    As for declarative statements about what others can and cannot enjoy, I think you'll find these forums an eye-opening experience.

     How does 'mid-scene switching' fit into your paradigm? We have a great time with that one.

      More directly to the OP: Normally, we stay in role through the scene. Mid-scene switches aren't negotiated. They just sort of come up in the energy flow and sub-conscious communication. What it is that we do works for us.

< Message edited by WyrdRich -- 11/6/2006 7:17:19 PM >

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RE: when do you switch - 11/6/2006 9:50:00 PM

orange72

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yep i am a relative n00b but i'd never switch mid-scene. i feel that it would detract from the enjoyment and mood for me way too much. the more immersed in a scene i feel, the bigger the rush....

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RE: when do you switch - 11/6/2006 11:36:39 PM

beltainefaerie

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Though I typically stay in one role for a scene, when I'm with a switch, we can flow with the energy and switch mid-scene, I've recently discovered. I also had a grand evening this weekend, hanging out with my brat and my Master and a few other friends. We would go back and forth, teasing each other, and feeding off the energy. He'd slap me or pull my hair, then a bit later I'd go torture the brat. It was delightful fun for all. It was interesting that the dynamics remained consistent with the person, but I was bouncing between submitting and dominating. It sounds confusing, but flowed quite well. It was really entertaining to watch Him interact with her when she pulled my hair, though. Ah, brats!

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RE: when do you switch - 11/7/2006 3:24:56 PM

Phoenixandnika

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I do NOT switch with the same person ie my Master is always my Master my submissive or slave is always my submissive or slave. So I suppose my answer to the OPs question would be no I do NOT and would NOT switch mid-scene.

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RE: when do you switch - 11/7/2006 8:55:05 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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I'll add to what people are saying about not switching in scenes- people's moods can change drastically. Who here can say that they've never gotten into a scene or sexual session and somehow the mood/energy just changed and it didn't go as expected? Or one person just wasn't into it all the way? Or it kinda just fell into something completely different?

I'm not saying that people SHOULD switch mid-scene or inter-relationship wise. I'm just saying it's not the end of the world if it happens. Mood changes happen to everyone, doesn't matter what orientation you are. Orientation changes aren't that different. If it's a good time, you pick up and you move on and have fun. If it's not a good time, you stop and go do other things. Life shouldn't be over because a scene went unexpectedly.

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RE: when do you switch - 11/8/2006 6:23:16 PM

AquaticSub

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I'm not really a switch so perhaps I shouldn't be answering. If so, just ignore my two cents. I have dominated my boyfriend a few times and more often then not we end up switching roles before it's over because he is simply better and more inclined at taking control then I am at keeping it.

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RE: when do you switch - 11/8/2006 8:43:32 PM

Mikal

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Depends on the person I'm with... but rarely do I switch during play. If it happens, it happens *shrugs*. Ditto with Lorelei and others ~ I'm Domme with most

.

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RE: when do you switch - 11/10/2006 10:28:13 PM

Ashkitty

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I have a little bit of switch growing in me. Like a lot of people, what mindset I fill into is dependant on my energies with the person I'm interacting with. As a general rule only, if I'm playing with someone who is, has been and will be completely Dominant to me, I could never even think about domming them as I would lose all respect for their controlling ability quite easily. (Granted, I will occasionally try and fail, reveling in such failure-- or rather successive reinforcement of the Dominant's control.) I've met a lot of boys who merely play Dom, and if I ever catch the upper hand I will generally hold myself up there and my perspective will change. I joke around about it a lot. (If only the icy glare from a playdom when I pat his head and tell him he's been such a good little puppy didn't AMUSE me so much....) Girls are a different, very complicated matter though. I've not yet found a girl who was interested in me to the point of my being comfortable enough with her and myself to dominate one, though it's a huge fantasy of mine.

I've never had the chance or inclination to switch during a scene, however, I could see me being overpowered as the dominant force and shoved into submission mid-play far more likely than the reverse senario.

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RE: when do you switch - 11/11/2006 4:46:35 AM

BootBlackBlast

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With my primary partner (poly relationship) we can and often switch mid scene generally when there is a shift in energy. We do however try not to switch before one of us has climaxed, we try to use that as a segue at times. With other play partners I am either the top or the bottom. Again though in my circle it is not unusual for me to be playing with gay boys, bi girls, and hetero boys at the same time, so I may be topping to some and submitting to others. But if there is a puppy pile of gay boys, you'll be certain to find me in the puppy pile.

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RE: when do you switch - 11/15/2006 10:57:24 PM

champagnewishes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I gave up trying to plan when I was going to be in what authority position- or expecting that what I plan IS what will happen. While rare, I can and do switch in scenes and when it happens, I've learned just to go with it.

Not only did I give up trying to plan, I gave up trying to sort it out after the fact.

Im sure if you were to ask him, he would say he was in charge at ALL times........and i will always smile sweetly in agreement and say "yes Sir".....followed by a quick smack on his ass. It works for us and we aren't hung up on semantics.

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RE: when do you switch - 11/16/2006 12:10:54 AM

BitaTruble

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I've bottomed to a top at the same time I've topped another bottom in the same scene. For me, S/m is a completely different head space and I enjoy getting flogged at the same time I'm doing a flogging on someone else. You can occupy both spaces at once just the same as you can laugh and cry at the same time.

There are some activities I would not do at the same time though.. for example, if I'm piercing someone, I wouldn't be getting pierced at the same time because that needs more focus.. same thing with most forms of blood letting. In those instances, my attention is focused on my victim.. er bottom. ::chuckles::

Celeste