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Being HIV+ Sucks - 11/6/2006 3:09:44 PM   
subwantsamaster


Posts: 8
Joined: 11/2/2006
Status: offline 		  Hello, just wondering..How do u all treat people with HIV? Are u one that ignores, accepts, or what? U see I am HIV+ not from sex not drugs (needles are not my thing..smoke) and well blood transfussion in Oct 05. It is hard, but I guess what Im asking...If I met u, n kept that from u, and u found out later what would u do? I DO disclose that information if not asap b4 anyone meets me.  I am just curious

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RE: Being HIV+ Sucks - 11/6/2006 3:13:44 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subwantsamaster

  Hello, just wondering..How do u all treat people with HIV? Are u one that ignores, accepts, or what? U see I am HIV+ not from sex not drugs (needles are not my thing..smoke) and well blood transfussion in Oct 05. It is hard, but I guess what Im asking...If I met u, n kept that from u, and u found out later what would u do? I DO disclose that information if not asap b4 anyone meets me.  I am just curious

If we started dating regularly and you kept it from me, I'd have a problem with it.  If we became friends and close, and didn't tell me within a few months, I'd be confused and perhaps hurt, but I'd get over it.

But if you told me about it, I'd still definitely meet and become friends.  I would not do certain things with you, but friends for sure!



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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Being HIV+ Sucks - 11/6/2006 3:31:45 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subwantsamaster

  Hello, just wondering..How do u all treat people with HIV? Are u one that ignores, accepts, or what? U see I am HIV+ not from sex not drugs (needles are not my thing..smoke) and well blood transfussion in Oct 05. It is hard, but I guess what Im asking...If I met u, n kept that from u, and u found out later what would u do? I DO disclose that information if not asap b4 anyone meets me.  I am just curious


I try to treat others with kindness unless their own attitude dictates it would be better to just ignore them. Being HIV+ would not change how "I" interact with you unless we had some sort of physical relationship, then I would be cautious with certan activity's. Illness does not preclude friendship in my book.. and if and when you were ready to share it, it would not change a thing. That said, I am from the SF bay area and have a lot of friends and some family who have died from AIDS or who are HIV+, and tend to be on the open minded side of the issue. I would not think badly of someone having a fear of an HIV+ person, but I would hope they would be open minded enough to get themselves educated.

Try not to get mad at those who are afraid as it truly stems from ignorance. There are plenty of us who are not afraid and will welcome you into friendship with open arms and hugs.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to subwantsamaster)
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RE: Being HIV+ Sucks - 11/6/2006 3:40:56 PM   
subwantsamaster


Posts: 8
Joined: 11/2/2006
Status: offline 		Ty all, I do understand. I have learned other measures to protect self. and to me I have this motto..."I warned you, if YOU choose to go without, and you catch...BOO HOO..NOT my fault." I have people that dont care, have some that are scared but ok, and there are some SOB out there that can't and WONT deal with it.

Thanks for answering, cant wait to see other responses

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RE: Being HIV+ Sucks - 11/6/2006 4:24:40 PM   
starshineowned


Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Greetings..~smiles~


Just curious..but what was your initial attitude when you first found out? Probably a whole lot of angry would assume. If you are wanting persons to interact with you, and be compassionate then does think
quote:

BOO HOO..NOT my fault
this might just be the attitude you get right back regardless if they chose to interact with you and did or did not use protections. If they take that step, and something goes wrong surely you would want to have the same compassion and understanding towards their initial feelings that you probably had, and give them support if possible to deal with it, and move on. People have heat of the moments and accidents happen..so unless your going to be the safeguard and take as much responsibility to prevent such things..then the blame is just as much yours is theres.

This is feelings beyond just friendship mode as your health status in that light doesn't matter.

Well Wishes

starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

(in reply to subwantsamaster)
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RE: Being HIV+ Sucks - 11/6/2006 4:31:57 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		How many threads about your HIV status do you plan on starting today?

(in reply to subwantsamaster)
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RE: Being HIV+ Sucks - 11/6/2006 4:53:54 PM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		I am sorry to hear that you are HIV + but friendship is something I don't discriminate on----I looked online for a site for people with HIV and I hope this helps you (www.positivesingles.com) good luck

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
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RE: Being HIV+ Sucks - 11/6/2006 5:59:30 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		A blood transfusion? That is a shame, and very rare. HIV transmission via blood transfusions is about 1 in 1.8 million units/year.

Having said that, it matters not to me whether some one contracts it from unsafe sexual practices, IV drugs or a blood transfusion. I treat them exactly as I treat others. I would choose not to engage in an intimate relationship, but have had friends that had AIDS and nothing changed. Some one quite close to me is pretty close to dying of it now. I have known him for about 20 years and the only thing it changed is that we have said things and had conversations that we probably wouldn't have had unless he was dying. Prior to that, when he was just HIV positive, we had the same friendship as pre HIV+.

I worked with HIV patients in the mid 80's into the early 90's, when the vast majority of the public was scared  and ill informed about the disease. I can recall a few of my own friends and one family member who would not allow me to eat off their dinnerware. I had to eat off of paperplates etc. Those were very sad times for people with AIDS/HIV+. It was the rare person who actually retained good/healthy relationships with family and friends. And those that did usually had to lie and say they had cancer to " keep up appearance" for those who did stick around.

In my experience, attitudes and the hysteria has calmed down quite a bit and people have a better understanding of it. Generally speaking, that is.

The following statement did disturb me:

quote:

..."I warned you, if YOU choose to go without, and you catch...BOO HOO..NOT my fault." I have people that dont care, have some that are scared but ok, and there are some SOB out there that can't and WONT deal with it.


Are you referring to sexual partners? or just friends ?
* If* you are referring to sexual partners and you believe that an informed partner that does not protect themselves is not your fault. I would disagree with you. I would not allow anyone to engage in an activity with me that is harmful to them whether or not they were willing to take the risk. I would feel a great deal of responsibilty if they were to contract what ever I had. I would also be questioning the responsibilty of the partner who was willing to risk his or her life in this manner. If they don't care about themselves enought to protect themselves, they would not care about infecting another also. Just my opinion, based on my experience.

                          mbmbn

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Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

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RE: Being HIV+ Sucks - 11/6/2006 6:32:08 PM   
subwantsamaster


Posts: 8
Joined: 11/2/2006
Status: offline 		Once again, to all..thanks...To those on my comment, i went overboard..If someone were to catch it from me of course Id b concerned I am not cold hearted. to those that asked why this site? because just like u, Im into something most rnt n i figured what the hell..i am human after all..

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Don't judge me til u know me

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RE: Being HIV+ Sucks - 11/6/2006 7:15:19 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		I shun people for lazy chat speak like u instead of you more than I ever would for them having an std.

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RE: Being HIV+ Sucks - 11/6/2006 7:52:56 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

A blood transfusion? That is a shame, and very rare. HIV transmission via blood transfusions is about 1 in 1.8 million units/year.


Thank you for that clarification.  As I read this thread I sat and wondered about the occurence, in 2005, of getting HIV from a blood transfusion and figured it had to be a rare happening. 


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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to maybemaybenot)
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RE: Being HIV+ Sucks - 11/6/2006 8:19:21 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		NP, that is why I posted the statistics. To show it still happens and to show that it is really rare and we don't need anyone freaking out that we have a tainted blood supply as we did when AIDS was first ID'd.

I suspect the incidence is less than what I stated, those were the NIH stats from 2005 and each year it has dropped in occurance.

                     mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Being HIV+ Sucks - 11/7/2006 3:25:45 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		There are plenty of blood products out there which have not been screened. Corrupt companies simply relabel them and pass them on. The Brit lawyer who is up for corruption alongside the ex Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi, is mixed up with just such a company in Italy which exports stuff like this. Profit over people, every time.
E

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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

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RE: Being HIV+ Sucks - 11/7/2006 5:26:02 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subwantsamaster

  Hello, just wondering..How do u all treat people with HIV? Are u one that ignores, accepts, or what? U see I am HIV+ not from sex not drugs (needles are not my thing..smoke) and well blood transfussion in Oct 05. It is hard, but I guess what Im asking...If I met u, n kept that from u, and u found out later what would u do? I DO disclose that information if not asap b4 anyone meets me.  I am just curious


If you were Hiv+.. fucked me.. with out telling me.. and I got it.. then I'd  charge you with attempted murder.

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 11/7/2006 5:27:47 AM >

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RE: Being HIV+ Sucks - 11/7/2006 5:51:14 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subwantsamaster
Ty all, I do understand. I have learned other measures to protect self. and to me I have this motto..."I warned you, if YOU choose to go without, and you catch...BOO HOO..NOT my fault." I have people that dont care, have some that are scared but ok, and there are some SOB out there that can't and WONT deal with it.


If you warn people and they don't care and go on to have unprotected sex with you and contract the disease....I would have to think that they probably don't care much about the next person they sleep with either who would most likely be kept unaware of their interaction with you....or the next...or the next....or any of the people that those people may interact with..... You have the diagnosis....that means YOU have the responsibility not to put others at risk.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to subwantsamaster)
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RE: Being HIV+ Sucks - 11/7/2006 7:41:03 AM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subwantsamaster

I have this motto..."I warned you, if YOU choose to go without, and you catch...BOO HOO..NOT my fault."


Someone claiming this as his or her "motto" precludes my involvement with them on any level, regardless of HIV status.

I can imagine there would be a great deal of grieving that needs to occur when one is diagnosed with HIV. And I know that grieving is not always pretty and shouldnt be selfless. You have to grieve for you. But I have to wonder: Is this post-diagnosis anger speaking, or do you really orient yourself toward the people you love and care for in this way?

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to subwantsamaster)
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RE: Being HIV+ Sucks - 11/12/2006 4:04:01 PM   
WildnWicked


Posts: 50
Joined: 2/26/2004
From: Lancaster, California
Status: offline 		It is the responsibility of the HIV+ to protect the HIV-.

That is MY motto and most of the people in the HIV+ community that I live in.

While you are saying you do disclose, it is your responsibility to protect those who are too ignorant to protect themself. This "gift that keeps giving" needs to stop with you.

I am trying to work myself OUT of a job and attitudes like yours keep me working overtime.

I suggest you get involved in some Prevention with Positives group in your area. We do the Healthy Relationships program, but there are many other programs out there that will help teach you how to disclose and the responsibilities that you must accept.

And another suggestion, stop using your status as a defense mechanism. Nobody here is fucking you (or so it would seem from how you are posting), so disclosing it to the world is irrelevant. If you are approaching it in a way to educate people, then it would be a great service to the forums. But, you are doing it to get attention (or so it seems) and it really isn't the good kind either.

It is simply amazing that I have better stats than the CDC.. because I have met well over the number of people who contracted HIV through transfusion than the CDC is even aware of. (heavy sarcasm here folks) Everyone in prison is innocent and nobody gets HIV through sex anymore (it's all in the blood supply.. )



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We live in a society of victimization, where people are much more comfortable being victimized than actually standing up for themselves.-- Marilyn Manson

(in reply to justheather)
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RE: Being HIV+ Sucks - 11/12/2006 4:32:24 PM   
medievalwench


Posts: 249
Joined: 10/31/2006
Status: offline 		i think it would be irresponsible to have sex with someone who knew your status and didn't want to use protection, personally i think it shows a poor sense of respect for sexual partners and if it were me who was positive i would refuse to sleep with someone who wouldn't use protection - i have refused to sleep with someone i knew was clean who refused to use a condom, because i think its basic sense to use one.

(in reply to WildnWicked)
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RE: Being HIV+ Sucks - 11/12/2006 4:56:43 PM   
amlonging


Posts: 153
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

There are plenty of blood products out there which have not been screened. Corrupt companies simply relabel them and pass them on. The Brit lawyer who is up for corruption alongside the ex Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi, is mixed up with just such a company in Italy which exports stuff like this. Profit over people, every time.
E


Tis NOT true in the US.  All blood products are screened and there are so many people who CANNOT give blood for medical reasons as simple as hypothryroidism and the meds they are on.......... ALL blood products are screened so well in the US.  

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BEHIND EVERY GREAT WOMAN...
...is a butt she can learn to love.

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RE: Being HIV+ Sucks - 11/13/2006 12:38:24 AM   
WildnWicked


Posts: 50
Joined: 2/26/2004
From: Lancaster, California
Status: offline 		In the US, if a man is gay or has ever had sex with another man... they can never give blood. Ain't that a trip.

quote:

ORIGINAL: amlonging

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

There are plenty of blood products out there which have not been screened. Corrupt companies simply relabel them and pass them on. The Brit lawyer who is up for corruption alongside the ex Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi, is mixed up with just such a company in Italy which exports stuff like this. Profit over people, every time.
E


Tis NOT true in the US.  All blood products are screened and there are so many people who CANNOT give blood for medical reasons as simple as hypothryroidism and the meds they are on.......... ALL blood products are screened so well in the US.  


_____________________________

We live in a society of victimization, where people are much more comfortable being victimized than actually standing up for themselves.-- Marilyn Manson

(in reply to amlonging)
Profile   Post #: 20
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