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Thanksgiving Insanity - 11/6/2006 6:17:10 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
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Top Ten Signs the Person Answering the Butterball Turkey Hotline is Nuts

10. Starts out by asking, "What are you wearing?"

9. Keeps referring to product called "Vicks Vap-O-Gravy".

8. Recommends thawing the turkey in your pants.

7. Wants you to look inside the turkey for contact lens he lost at the processing plant.

6. When you ask, "How often should I baste it?" he says, "Are we still talking about the turkey?"

5. Tells you that when the timer pops up, you have ten seconds before the damn thing explodes.

4. Insists you cook turkey at six degrees for 450 hours.

3. Keeps interrupting to ask if you're planning to eat the bird or wear it as a hat.

2. Claims to have sailed from New York to the Bahamas in a gravy boat.

1. He tells you to go stuff yourself.

~candystripper~

< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/6/2006 6:18:29 PM >

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RE: Thanksgiving Insanity - 11/6/2006 7:05:04 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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I think the two turkeys that are awaiting their day of glory in my freezer even laughed at that.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to candystripper)

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RE: Thanksgiving Insanity - 11/7/2006 1:40:13 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
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Top Ten Martha Stewart Thanksgiving Tips

10. To get turkey golden brown, use a high-grade shellac.

9. Buy a wreath at K-Mart and tell everyone you made it yourself.

8. Bite the head off of a live turkey.

7. So nobody gets drowsy after dinner, liven up the stuffing with half a can of Folgers Crystals.

6. Don't call the Butterball talk-line tonight, you may get a moron.

5. Tired of turkey? Roast a raccoon.

4. No time to bake homemade pies? Well then, you're a horrible, horrible person.

3. Decorate your turkey with pinecones -- how do I come up with this crap?

2. Get the family as drunk as possible, as early as possible.

1. To spice things up in the bedroom, dress up like pilgrims.

candystripper

(in reply to LaTigresse)

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RE: Thanksgiving Insanity - 11/10/2006 1:50:08 AM

adommeforu