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Why is it? - 11/10/2006 4:52:16 AM

23TampaMsub

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That whenever I get enough courage to approach a Domme on here. More often I am accused of trolling. I know who I am, and do not play games. And my intentions are sincere. Thoughts or advice please.

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RE: Why is it? - 11/10/2006 5:12:21 AM

ShiftedJewel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: 23TampaMsub

That whenever I get enough courage to approach a Domme on here. More often I am accused of trolling. I know who I am, and do not play games. And my intentions are sincere. Thoughts or advice please.

I think it's because there are sooooo many "trolls" around. And let's be realistic here hon... how do any of us know if someone is legit or just yankin' our chains? I've had many tell me how sincere they are only to disappear a day later... deleted profile and all. Maybe it has something to do with the content of your emails? What do you say to them? How do you approach them?

Jewel

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RE: Why is it? - 11/10/2006 5:19:13 AM

Celeste43

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When you write someone here, do you read their profile first? If they say they are into gardening, do you ask something about that? Do you read their posts and comment on something they said and why it resonated with you? Because if all you write is "I want to be a real sub" it doesn't show that you are interested in them as a person.

You don't give enough info as to your emails for us to guess.

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RE: Why is it? - 11/10/2006 5:32:19 AM

23TampaMsub

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I am a resonably bright guy. I dont just approach a Domme unless I feel there something that I identify with in there profile. I am also very polite and try to follow proper protocol. I am not one of these guys who writes a onoe sentence message hoping to get a response. I make sure that I completely introduce myself. Yet it seems I cant be taken seriously.

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RE: Why is it? - 11/10/2006 5:52:24 AM

ShiftedJewel

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Can I ask why you feel you are NOT being taken seriously? If it is the lack of response then I wouldn't let that bother you... it seems to be the norm around here to use no responce as a "no thank you" response.

Personally I think you have a well thought out profile, it shows that you have a sense of humor and that you have some idea what it is that you are looking for. Your lists of likes and dislikes etc are not unreasonable or unrealistic. Just be patient and keep on keepin' on... good things come to those that wait.

Jewel

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RE: Why is it? - 11/10/2006 6:35:00 AM

LadyJulieAnn

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quote:

ORIGINAL: 23TampaMsub

I am a resonably bright guy. I dont just approach a Domme unless I feel there something that I identify with in there profile. I am also very polite and try to follow proper protocol. I am not one of these guys who writes a onoe sentence message hoping to get a response. I make sure that I completely introduce myself. Yet it seems I cant be taken seriously.

Something else to think about is whether the Dommes you are approaching are serious. Many on here are not, so don't always think that it's your fault for not getting a response. Be persistent. It does take time. Perhaps seek out a real time group in your area in addition to your online search.

Best of luck,
Julie

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RE: Why is it? - 11/10/2006 6:59:14 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJulieAnn

quote:

ORIGINAL: 23TampaMsub

I am a resonably bright guy. I dont just approach a Domme unless I feel there something that I identify with in there profile. I am also very polite and try to follow proper protocol. I am not one of these guys who writes a onoe sentence message hoping to get a response. I make sure that I completely introduce myself. Yet it seems I cant be taken seriously.

Something else to think about is whether the Dommes you are approaching are serious. Many on here are not, so don't always think that it's your fault for not getting a response. Be persistent. It does take time. Perhaps seek out a real time group in your area in addition to your online search.

Best of luck,
Julie

This is something to think about. When we are ignored we often have two choices that pop out to us.

Something is wrong with me.

Something is wrong with him/her.

Realistically it might be both these or neither. It could simply be our target isn't interested and doesn't know how to say "I'm not interested" without worries (whatever they might be).

To be honest, 23TampaMsub, you haven't written to me so I can't say if what you write is a good approach or not. But then why would you write to me? You're in Florida, right?

That is a problem too in that those you'd like to learn the reasons for lack of interest from are the ones not interested enough to write back or to continue writing. Anyone one of us writing in this thread could get a test message from you and give your our impressions but we aren't the persons you wrote to so we cannot tell you why they have reacted or not reacted as they did.

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RE: Why is it? - 11/10/2006 7:34:24 AM

balletsissypa

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i don't mean to bring you down but i am afraid that you may never know WHY with many of the people you write too. It feels like we are on double secret probation sometimes. Someone suggested writing more detailed letters talking about their interests such as gardening. Thats a good idea.......if that Domme is interested in letters like that. i was castigated by one Domme. She said She didn't read my email because it was too long. The problem is we don't know what combination of attributes in a letter will be liked or disliked by the Domme and unfortunately we only get one shot to make a connection. In my experience, if you write a Domme more than once when She has not responded She is put off by the fact that you wrote again (just my experience). In person you have body language and other clues to guide you. Here you do not. My advice to you is to keep tryig and hoping you get it right. Just remember that it is not your fault, its just the nature of trying to communicate online.
lauren

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RE: Why is it? - 11/10/2006 11:27:33 AM

pixelslave

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Amen, to the difficulties of trying to communicate on-line. I've been involved in the internet for 10 years or more, well before there were "smileys" and such, other than those which people invented using commas, semicolons, paretheses, etc. and even with those, it has always been difficult to not interpret or be misinterpreted when communicating over the simplest of subjects! Trying to communicate well enough to begin a possible relationship with another via this kind of medium is even more difficult and more prone to problems!

As others have noted, each will have their own preferences. I know some who absolutely love receiving long emails and others who hate them. I do know that the first 50 words or so of a message can either capture a woman's interest or may cause her to quickly move to the next one. So you may want to focus on how you begin your post. If you can also end it on a strong note that is positive and upbeat, that might also help to inspire a response as well. The former gets them to continue to read, the latter might get them to respond if they liked what they read in-between. I think that was something I learned in a writing class that stuck with me for more than the length of the class.

As a final note, I'll suggest that its my opinion that what you want to do is to start a dialogue. It's not necessary to show that you're everything a Mistress might want in one single post. Taking it in little steps gives both of you an opportunity to learn about each other in smaller bits and pieces without investing too much time in any single message. If you later decide to invest time in writing longer posts, that's a choice you can decide to make at that time. I hope this is helpful to you.

- pixel

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RE: Why is it? - 11/10/2006 6:51:13 PM

UtopianRanger

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quote:

ORIGINAL: 23TampaMsub

That whenever I get enough courage to approach a Domme on here. More often I am accused of trolling. I know who I am, and do not play games. And my intentions are sincere. Thoughts or advice please.

If you're nervous, it's because you're conjuring-up the wrong image of them. Take your mind back to a time when you were in 4th grade and remember them with braces and pony tails watching you play kickball /basketball.

- R

< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 11/10/2006 7:21:41 PM >

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RE: Why is it? - 11/10/2006 7:28:30 PM

Morrigel

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"Trolling" is an odd word for someone to use, unless you've said something offensive...

--M

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RE: Why is it? - 11/11/2006 2:35:41 AM

iced05

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well i gues u not the one their look for even tho you feel their the one you looking for either u approach proper way rude way if u are stir not the ones their want ....you 're not the want remenber their are master n misteress their pick who their wants not when u want them be your master or misteress ;)

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RE: Why is it? - 11/11/2006 2:38:39 AM

iced05

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sorry for misspelled "you 're not the want remenber their are master n misteress their pick who their wants not when u want them be your master or misteress ;) "

"you 're not the ones remenber their are master n misteress their pick who their wants not when u want them be your master or misteress ;) "

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RE: Why is it? - 11/11/2006 7:44:57 PM

AlexAussieSub

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Subs perspective:

Maybe you could try rewriting your profile. Think of it like advertising. Say you want to make an effective ad for say a car, a good ad would mention some basic things about the car, but would focus on what the customers get out of the car (feeling comfortable, prestige etc.). The analogy of this with writing a profile is that you shouldn't have too many sentences beginning with "I" or about you in general, but about what your readers want. For example you could change "I am completely sincere in my desire to serve" to "Are you after someone who is completely sincere in their desire to serve?".

Also something that all authors, whether they write books or for magazines or newspapers agree on is that the first sentence is the most important. Most newspapers have people who's job it is to just think up headlines. A headline saying "well here's another article" isn't much of a plus. Likewise you can do better than "well here I am again".
You should also be positive in your profile. If a Domme's profile read "I'm begging for a Sub" what would you think? How much success do guys have in the vanilla world when their negative? Even a vanilla girl is only going to get geeks if she just gets around sooking.

I wouldn't really bother with protocol, you're not her Sub until you've signed a contract or been collared or otherwise agreed to be her Sub, and it screams out fantasist/online Sub. Also get out to clubs as well, the internet should only be a secondary way of meeting people.

Hope this helps :),

Alex

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RE: Why is it? - 11/11/2006 8:01:35 PM

fergus

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Advice: stop approaching Dommes. Instead of trying to approach a Domme, approach a person who happens to be a Domme. Treat everyone as if they are a unique and wonderful individual deserving of respect and basic human dignity. Expect to be treated the same as well!

Understand that each person has unique life situations that will somehow 'ruin' a 'perfect' image. Realize that everyone makes mistakes, or sometimes has busy lives, or sometimes just flakes. Forgive them for these traits. Expect to be forgiven for your own.

fergus

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RE: Why is it? - 11/11/2006 8:19:29 PM

jdtallfem

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Also, it looks as if you've moved to St louis but your profile still says your'e from tampa, so this can get confusing. You might want to make sure your profile says where you are really from. Most Dommes seem to Not want to relocate so they might dimiss you if you're not in they're area and not realize you've moved. You might want to emphasize that even though you're young, you're responsible with whatever vanilla job or position you have, always a good sign. And then in your notes you're writing that you're hoping the Domme will approach you. While that might happen, it's rare, usually the subs do have to approach the Dommes just because there are so many more subs than Dommes. And when there is a connection, follow through with a phone call and an appointment as soon as possible to show that you're serious. Good luck.

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RE: Why is it? - 11/11/2006 8:31:12 PM

DiurnalVampire

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If you are being accused of trolling, then maybe you should reexamine how you are presenting yourself. I have gotten very obviously trolling messages, and it is hard to mistake that for an actual interest letter. If you have only heard it once, then I wouldnt worry about it. As to why they arent writing you back at all, its a Domme thing. We hear it all the time and a lot of the answers are the same. If we arent bowled over, we dont answer. Honestly, I know I get too many inquiries to worry about getting back to one I dont see much merit in.

DV

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RE: Why is it? - 11/11/2006 8:33:01 PM

SissySean

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I have to say, I have gotten responses from most I have dropped a line to. And most sincere also. Not ever having read what you write to them maybe try changing your style. And not to sound rude, although I have been accused of that here lately, you may want to change your picture. I say this because many of the Dommes here tend to be over the age of 25 and honestly, the gang banger look may not appeal to them. Just trying to help.

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RE: Why is it? - 11/11/2006 9:42:03 PM

nikaa

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There is an old saying, " "The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons."

That was the first thought that popped into my head when reading your profile because you are constantly proclaiming how you are a "real submissive". I would rather someone show me their nature through actions than tell me.

< Message edited by nikaa -- 11/11/2006 9:44:24 PM >

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RE: Why is it? - 11/13/2006 7:40:55 PM

MasterFireMaam

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As others have pointed out, it may be in the way you approach. Another reason might simply be your profile. There's very little on it except your declaration that you are a real sub looking for a real Mistress. What makes you "real"? What would make her "real"? What do you expect in the relationship? What do you have to offer? Try thinking about those, then rewritting your profile. Also, take another picture. While some of us might think you're cute in it, a lot will think you're simply posing. Take a "normal" head shot without the hoodie with better quality. If you want to keep the fun picture you have right now, put it in as a second or third pic.

Hope this helps.

Master Fire

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