Question to A Master

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

Question to A Master

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Question to A Master

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Question to A Master - 11/11/2006 1:56:12 PM

Tallnsassy

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/10/2006
Status: offline

recently I had a very interesting chat with someone who stated ..Dom/subs are just kinky vanillas..your opinion on this please

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Question to A Master - 11/11/2006 1:58:51 PM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

For which there is no absolute answer.

For some being dom/sub is all about kink and fetishes, in which case it could be argued your statement is true.

For others being dominant/submissive is about something else and kinks are more incidental, in which case it could be argued your statement is untrue.

Bother are valid... depending on whom you are referring too.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to Tallnsassy)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Question to A Master - 11/11/2006 2:09:37 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tallnsassy

recently I had a very interesting chat with someone who stated ..Dom/subs are just kinky vanillas..your opinion on this please

I agree with Padriag.... It's a matter of perspective... rarely are absolutes statements of any value.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Tallnsassy)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Question to A Master - 11/11/2006 2:12:41 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

In that person's eyes, that's all they are. In someone else's eyes, they are much more. My relationship to my Master is nothing like any "vanilla" relationship I have experienced, so what you were told does not in any way apply to me. It may apply to someone else, however.

(in reply to Tallnsassy)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Question to A Master - 11/11/2006 3:06:18 PM

Ava82

Posts: 55
Joined: 1/2/2006
Status: offline

I consider Dom/sub a stepping stone to Master/slave.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Question to A Master - 11/11/2006 3:22:01 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

I agree with what's been said, it depends on your perspective.

For me all the fun and games are kink and nothing to do with domination or submission. (Well even that is not absolutely true when I think about it, cause even in playing, domination and submission plays itself out, it's just maybe exagerated in those times.)

The fabric of a D/s relationship itself though has everything to do with domination and submission and is very different from a vanilla relationship.

However, that being said, the "vanilla" relationships I've had in my life were also based on domination and submission but nothing to do with BDSM (kink).

I guess when I think about my personality and femininity itself and how they settle into a role within relationship, I'm always submissive(slave). When it comes to the fun and games I like to play, well those are my kinks.

< Message edited by slavejali -- 11/11/2006 3:31:09 PM >

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Question to A Master - 11/11/2006 6:00:13 PM

BDSM05478

Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline

so I totally disagree!! kinky vanilla is like Jumbo Shrimp, if your kinky vanilla, your closet bdsm, you just haven't evovled into the totally kinky you yet but you are WELL on your way....... did that come across correct?

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to slavejali)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Question to A Master - 11/11/2006 6:35:46 PM

beltainefaerie

Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline

BDSM05478, I totally agree. Kinky vanilla doesn't make any sense. I certainly get that there are more sex related aspects to S/m relationships and more relationship dynamic aspects and some people may get into some aspects over others, but none of it is vanilla.

(in reply to BDSM05478)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Question to A Master - 11/11/2006 6:43:03 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

Sounds like an oxymoron to me.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to beltainefaerie)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Question to A Master - 11/11/2006 6:55:54 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

There is now an oxymoron 2 that cleans even the deepest dinge from your soul.

FYI,
Mr. Clean
Proctor and Gambel

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to windchymes)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Question to A Master - 11/11/2006 7:19:28 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

There is now an oxymoron 2 that cleans even the deepest dinge from your soul.

FYI,
Mr. Clean
Proctor and Gambel

But Madge, you're soaking in it...

(in reply to mnottertail)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Question to A Master - 11/11/2006 7:24:09 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Well, if Doms/ subs are just kinky vaillas, I am doing something very wrong. I hve no kink in my D/s relationship with angel yet. I have service, control, obedience and loyalty, but no kink.
I guess I would have to disagree.
Though, in some instances, there are Doms and subs that ARE just kinky vanillas, and if the person in question was basing the opinion they had of the lifestyle on what they see in porn I could understand where that came from. Bedroom D/s could seem like vanilla kink, I suppose.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: Question to A Master - 11/11/2006 7:27:18 PM

LordODiscipline

Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

And, "a dead person is just a heart silenced living one"...

Seems silly when you see the rhetoric for what it is.

~J

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tallnsassy

recently I had a very interesting chat with someone who stated ..Dom/subs are just kinky vanillas..your opinion on this please

_____________________________

"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential."
William Thomas

(in reply to Tallnsassy)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: Question to A Master - 11/11/2006 7:33:35 PM

Morrigel

Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tallnsassy
recently I had a very interesting chat with someone who stated ..Dom/subs are just kinky vanillas..your opinion on this please

Sounds like the speaker was doing the typically immature deal where someone decides that one form of BDSM relationship or playstyle is "real" or "true" and everyone who does something different is an inferior wanna-be pretender of some kind.

I call this line of conversation TOTKI--The One True Kink. Basically, the speaker wants you to think they just pulled their kink out of a stone and that Merlin is their bestest buddy.

Pretty much nothing you can say in a BDSM context that will make you sound more like a provincinl know-nothing dumbass than to whip out your TOTKI and start waving it around.

Just my opinion.

--M

(in reply to Tallnsassy)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: Question to A Master - 11/11/2006 7:37:13 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

i WAS ALWAYS facinated by that, and kinda had this fantasy that Madge was the Bounty wiper cleaner picker upper kinda gal........In my Yoot.

Marisa Tomei

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: Question to A Master - 11/11/2006 7:59:40 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

i WAS ALWAYS facinated by that, and kinda had this fantasy that Madge was the Bounty wiper cleaner picker upper kinda gal........In my Yoot.

Marisa Tomei

You know, George Costanza, aka Art Vandalay loved Marisa Tomei...in her yoot.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: Question to A Master - 11/11/2006 8:11:07 PM

BORAT

Posts: 37
Joined: 11/10/2006
Status: offline

We not make such confusing distinction in Kazakhstan. We have normal, pervert, and gypsy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tallnsassy

recently I had a very interesting chat with someone who stated ..Dom/subs are just kinky vanillas..your opinion on this please

(in reply to Tallnsassy)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: Question to A Master - 11/11/2006 10:21:27 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

my relationship with my ex husband was pretty nilla with a bit of kink in the begining. Then went to just no sex at all. LOL

In both my vanilla relationships I was the one in control of everything and i grew to hate it and lose complete respect for my partner, and sex with someone you don't respect just doesn't work for me.

I don't agree that all people that practice some kink are closet BDSM'ers. but then again it would totally depend on how a person defines BDSM for themselves. For me it constitutes power exchange. It's a big part of it for me.

So really when i was with my ex, he would "play" at kink once in a while, I would not ever say our relationship held any aspect of BDSM.

But that's just my take on it *S*

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to BORAT)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: Question to A Master - 11/12/2006 12:05:40 AM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

LOL Kinky venilla, isnt that an oxyMoron???

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to akisha)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: Question to A Master - 11/12/2006 2:05:36 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tallnsassy

recently I had a very interesting chat with someone who stated ..Dom/subs are just kinky vanillas..your opinion on this please

Even in this technological age, empty vessels still make the most sound....

My girl hasta grow her hair below shoulder length and style it to my taste.
She hasta maintain her pubic hair in a neat "landing strip" style.
She hasta learn and obey my complex dress rules in public and private.
She hasta learn all my little idiosyncrosies and preferences re her general appearance and behaviour.
She hasta learn where and how to stand when I call her before me or wants something from me herself.
She hasta learn the differences in how to address me in private as opposed to being in public.
She hasta learn a myriad of other minor rules that don't come up everyday.

She hasta know and do all this and much more on a 24/7 basis and, so far, there hasn't been a rope, flogger or toy anywhere in sight and no-one has even taken their clothes off yet. So much for kink; D/s is about *CONTROL* - at least, it is to me and anyone wanting to be accepted as *my* girl!

Focus.

(in reply to Tallnsassy)

Profile

Post #: 20