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RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 11:06:49 AM

raiken

Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

In all fairness, it's hard to keep a good conversation, much less relationship, when one of the participants has been incarcerated without the other's knowledge.

That would qualify as something troubling him.

Jeff

oooooo yupper!

(in reply to mstrjx)

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Post #: 21

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 11:18:43 AM

peachsub

Posts: 7
Joined: 11/22/2006
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thanks for the replies. i guess the world of D/s is no different than the real world in regards to manners and common courtesy except a master or dom can use his title to excuse his behavior and a sub is considered insubordinate if she does the same. interesting dynamics

(in reply to raiken)

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Post #: 22

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 11:21:14 AM

LordVelvet

Posts: 311
Joined: 4/25/2006
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peach,
I wouldn't say it excuses the behavior. An asshole is an asshole anyway you slice it. Just MY perspective.

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Post #: 23

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 11:21:23 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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Everyone walks away with their own personal viewpoints on every life event, we now have an explication of yours, regarding this one.

Thanks for sharing,
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to peachsub)

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Post #: 24

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 11:25:03 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
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Huh? I never got that! There are doms and there are Doms. There are subs and there are subs. People are people; some are polite, some are not. But you're right...we ARE much like the rest of the world....... and REAL.

If you are going to play with the big dogs, you'll have to get your feet wet. Life is hard, lots of fun, and seldom fair. You're reactions to it are what determine how you survive...

beverly

(in reply to peachsub)

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Post #: 25

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 11:27:29 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
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From: South Central CO
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oooooooooooooooooooooohhhhh! "explication" A new word!

Thanks, Ron(ne)!

beverly

(in reply to Bearlee)

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Post #: 26

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 11:54:00 AM

IvyP

Posts: 43
Joined: 10/28/2006
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well........one or three sessions...no matter, .emotions know no age....thats left for our rational side........if there is one. Just love those posts Ron :)

(in reply to mnottertail)

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Post #: 27

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 12:17:46 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
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I wish you would put your profile and picture back up, but I ain't gonna talk you outta gator country.

Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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Post #: 28

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 12:23:37 PM

mistoferin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: peachsub
i guess the world of D/s is no different than the real world in regards to manners and common courtesy

I don't understand why any adult would ever assume that it would be any different here.

quote:

except a master or dom can use his title to excuse his behavior and a sub is considered insubordinate if she does the same. interesting dynamics

This part is false.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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Post #: 29

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 2:33:39 PM

fireflyred

Posts: 13
Joined: 11/5/2006
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No he has no right I would spam that motherfucker. force him to respond to you by keylogging his comp and sending emails to yourself once you have access...

I'm not funny . dammit i know. but check it out. do you know his full name, I'm not crazy and I'm not a cop caller but I left some pretty horrible "ok, fuck you too." messages on my friends cell phone answering machine, I'm half way glad he never got to hear them...he was in a coma for almost 75 days. he got in a fatal single car no one was drunk accident on St. patricks day and wow, assumptions are bad.

i would even suggest calling the county or whatever jail and if you feel uncomfortable, just tell the operater that you and your girlfriend saw a news article stating a similar name and though "No! it couldn't be! He's a good person!" ...some people get all freaked out about cops. My opinion is that if you don't think he was doing anything wrong, or even if you do, don't act paranoid on the phone, and it's not like they're going to go out hunting for him to find him guilt based on an inquiry. I remember when I was fourteen, I cried and cried and angst angst angst because a vanilla relationship ended without a trace of the guy ever existing, yeah...he was in jail...a family member could have been sick, that maybe was bothering him and he acted in a strange manner during the session, and if that family member passed, maybe he had to fly somewhere, maybe he doesn't call or email because when he finally has a chance to sit down he doesn't want to rehash and explain that something sad happened.

kinky people are supposed to be creative. Investigate further, I'd say, but don't stalk.
Stalking isn't nice..

(in reply to mnottertail)

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Post #: 30

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 2:35:42 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
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Oh you're a lovely person, aren't you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: fireflyred

No he has no right I would spam that motherfucker. force him to respond to you by keylogging his comp and sending emails to yourself once you have access...

(in reply to fireflyred)

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Post #: 31

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 2:57:48 PM

emdoub

Posts: 223
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: Minnenipples, Minnesnowta
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quote:

ORIGINAL: peachsub

thanks for the replies. i guess the world of D/s is no different than the real world in regards to manners and common courtesy except a master or dom can use his title to excuse his behavior and a sub is considered insubordinate if she does the same. interesting dynamics

I can understand your being hurt, angry, and bitter - that's okay. I've seen 'The Great Disappearing Act', too - and it's the pits. But after you find out what happened, or get over the initial 'zing' of the emotional pain, do try to get over the bitter/angry part as well.

Anyone in any part of BDSM can use their role as an excuse for anything, and I've heard some doozies, from tops, bottoms, doms, subs, switches - everyone. It happens. There is not now, and never has been, any requirement that you respect them for it.

This isn't about the community, or BDSM - it's about him.

Midnight Writer

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Benevolent Dictator of TIES - Tremendously Intense Erotic Situations. If you're local to Mpls-St.Paul, MN, you may want to check us out. The web site is at http://www.ties-bdsm.org and the Munches are monthly.

(in reply to peachsub)

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Post #: 32

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 3:12:26 PM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
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From: South Central CO
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Holy chit!!! <winces>

(in reply to fireflyred)

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Post #: 33

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 3:17:26 PM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
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From: South Central CO
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Okay...I'm still confused. It's mainly online AND it's a decision he's made (to bolt). What difference does it make if you know why? Perhaps he KNOWS you'll cry and carry on and he's just over it all.

Sheeshhhhhhhh... haven't you ever decided to quit? Have you ever had a guy hang on? It's not pretty when people do that. Quite frankly, except for the fact that I'm such a 'should-er' and raised to be more polite; I'd 'poof' now and then, too! <shrugs>

I just ended a relationship too; kinda mutual, really. In my heart, I already knew all the reasons; some made sense, some hurt... Who cares what the reason's are? Maybe I'm better off I didn't call him and beg for the litany of reasons why he didn't find me 'long-term' material. Yanno?

(well...and I KNOW I'm better for not having given mine to him! LOL)

beverly

(in reply to Bearlee)

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Post #: 34

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 3:22:45 PM

whisperedsighs

Posts: 349
Joined: 11/12/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: peachsub

i was in real life training with a Master after many months of online communication until a week ago when after a training session, he stopped all communication with me with no explanation of why. Is this his right? After several attempts to communicate with him, i have given up but i am very confused and interested as to what other Doms/Masters thoughts are on this. my profile is not viewable as he posts on collarme but i am not a player and would appreciate constructive repies to this. thankyou.

I hate when someone does something like this. And this isn't even just online people who do this. I find myself sending an email to them to say hey, then no response. So I send another email to see what's up. And with each of those emails I feel like a stalker. I mean at least say. I will not talk to you again. You don't have to give a reason, but at least do that!

_____________________________

oh my god that was so wrong! .... again please!

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Post #: 35

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 5:14:09 PM

LadyHugs

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear peachsub, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Sudden drop of communications may not be what is assumed.

Depending on computers, at times computers quit or the area they're in is having electricity and or telephone problems. So, makes it rather useless.

It could also be sudden personal issues, like health and or an accident.
Not all of us are afforded warnings when it comes to tragedy.

I know I would be frustrated as a dominant if any of the above happened, as I know those I care about would be extremely concerned. So, I would pray for the best and their return.

If they passed on, which is so very possible with the fast paced world we travel in; they may never come back. So, there should be a reasonable time given before moving onward.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to peachsub)

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Post #: 36

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 6:00:44 PM

peachsub

Posts: 7
Joined: 11/22/2006
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Again, i appreciate these new replies. To Lady Hugs - He has been online and he has my number so that is not the issue.
To Bearlee - we were friends for 5 months before...so the sudden drop of comunication and why is an issue for me especially since i was in training.
To mistoferin - this statement of mine was made only as an observation of my experience not a fact.

Anyway, i am thankful for the sentiments, views, and insights...

(in reply to LadyHugs)

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Post #: 37

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 8:19:13 PM

juliaoceania

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Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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I would like to add, I am sorry you have had your feelings hurt, and I think that some people take things more casually and less seriously than others do, hence the differing responses to your posts. I do not think that it is unusual for someone to be hurt when when they are dumped without a reason after a certain amount of trust had been built. If this happened to me without a word of goodbye I would feel violated if I considered it a relationship that was moving into long term status.

The above being said, I know people term things differently based upon their experiences, but to me a mentor is not lover material or dom material, a trainer has nothing to do with a Ds relationship either. In my dynamic he trains me at times, but he is not my trainer, he was never my mentor, and if he had been either of these things there would be no relationship between us. He has mentored people that were friends of a former submissive (real life people), but he never dated them, and he wouldn't.... why? Mentors do not do that. A person has to be able to consent as an equal, and in my opinion they cannot do so in a mentoring situation.

I have brought up the above for you so that you can compare what he has told you with what I have stated... there is nothing wrong with starting out as friends, but if he was an online dom tossing out protection collars, mentoring you, and then promoting you to being "trained" as a way to convince you that he knew what he was doing, could be trusted, and was working toward a lifelong Ds relationship with you by making you jump through some sort of ranking system, that is not what I have read from people that have long lasting Ds relationships. They do not do this from reading people on this board and from what my Daddy has told me.

Now people are going to read this post and disagree with my sentiments, fine, they have a different experience with mentors and trainers that collared them and they have been living together for a decade, but from what I have experienced and read, this is just not the norm.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to peachsub)

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Post #: 38

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 8:43:41 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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It is his RIGHT. That doesnt make it mature, responsable or proper. I am sure in his mind, what he did was perfectly justified, and he saw no reason to tell you why he did it.
Just out of curiousity (and I havent read every post, so excuse me if this is asked and answered)
If he has stopped al communication with you, why do you still not have your profile viewable? He has obviously given you the cold shoulder, and is no longer interested, so why not begin your search again by making yourself viewable? His loss, if he gets upset. Once you were released (which by stopping communication outright, he did) you are free to look and do as you please.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to mnottertail)

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Post #: 39

RE: a Master's right - 11/23/2006 4:04:49 AM

ScienceBoy

Posts: 114
Joined: 11/21/2006
From: Bristol, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LordVelvet

peach,
I wouldn't say it excuses the behavior. An asshole is an asshole anyway you slice it. Just MY perspective.

Ahhh, but sliced thinly, dry cured, and grilled to a crisp.. They make an excellent topping to a warm salad.

(in reply to LordVelvet)

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Post #: 40

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