RE: a Master's right

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RE: a Master's right - 11/24/2006 3:45:00 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
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quote:

Much would depend upon reasonable expectation - how much RT training actually happened, what were the time expectations when you two last communicated, etc. If you two had one RT session and he bailed - well, it's rude, but he's bailed. If you two had several weeks of 3x per week sessions, and he disappeared - there may be a much more serious problem. If the expectation was that he'd be in touch after a week, and it's been 8 days, that's a minor concern - if you had reason to expect contact daily, and it's been a week - that's much more likely to be a problem

OK just because my mind goes there I have to ask. Did this sudden disappearance happen after he "tried the goods"? Too often the "cum n go" philosophy applies to mentors. They troll the newbies until they manage some "test time" with the nieve or unschooled then bail in such a way that you feel it's a failing on your part. Mentors are a scam, if you were desirable enough to find a mentor you're more than desirable enough to attract a real dominant.
Feelings and female hearts being what they are yes give yourself some time before jumping back in. Thinking you need a man to tell you who's good enough for you is a load of crap. You just learned the first lesson the hard way. Believing you're undesirable as you are is a lie. Believing that you aren't capable of finding someone to meet your needs on your own is a lie. If it looks like a troll, acts like a troll and smells like a troll...it's a troll not a mentor.

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Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to mnottertail)

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RE: a Master's right - 11/24/2006 9:34:13 PM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
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Very good advice.

(in reply to theRose4U)

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RE: a Master's right - 11/25/2006 12:01:01 AM

reofbl

Posts: 33
Joined: 4/2/2006
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On the OP:

The idea of "rights" isn't something I would be concerned with. The definition is too vague; when made to be more specific, it's frivilous. One could argue he has the legal right to disengage contact. Another might argue he hadn't the right to neglect you on the generally acceptable terms of a relationship's social contract, owing notifcation to you on his decision to disengage from the mutual obligations.

When it comes down to it, rights aren't the issue so much as how one should react; this is simple, in that there isn't much of a way to react beyond moving on. Internally, it may be more difficult. I'm sure you're concerned with if your feelings are inappropriate? If that feeling of abandonment is healthy, or if it should be cut? This is something you'll have to answer for yourself. It is my personal opinion, and I'll be so bold as to assume that it may be the general concesus (sp?), that you should feel abandoned, and that what he did was morally wrong.

In the end, I hope you feel better after healing and reconizing this was a single incident. I won't claim it can't happen again. My romantic notions would tend to push for seeing this as an isolated incident, an outlier.

If you should chose to see what he has done as 'wrong', and to feel the pain of abandonment, personally, I'll be here for you to speak to. I do not believe in "right" and "wrong" as most would seem to, so I won't argue that this is the best course of action, but it is one I would find agreeable.

In conclusion: *Huggles.*

(in reply to peachsub)

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