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New person - 11/22/2006 11:55:24 AM

VixenSara

Posts: 9
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

Hello everyone,

I have been wanting to do the dom/sub relationship for awhile, and never meant anyone that wanted to be my sub till now. We are roomates and do have a sexual realtionship. It seems that my sub is in a hurry but i am new at this and he has some experience. WE both work different shifts so it makes it a little hard. So any advice would help to get me started in the dom role. I don't want it to go too fast i have had bad luck in that area. I have been to yahoo chat rooms and stuff but they don't offer anything if the users talk to you.

VixenSara

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Post #: 1

RE: New person - 11/22/2006 12:02:38 PM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

There's a little thing that I like to fall back on.

K.I.S.S. And no, not the band (though, gimme that tongue anyday! lmao)

Keep It Simple Stupid.

Keep things low key, friendly, open, playful, humorous. Like learning how to ride a bike...or roller skate. Don't end up equating it to something as demanding and stressfull as like......studying for a humongous test.

Keep communication open and flowing at ALL times. Don't take yourself very seriously, be able to laugh at yourselves if things seem awkward. Because they will.

Do a lot of reading, perhaps together, maybe come up with a scene based off of something you've read...again, something simple. Nothing too involved and complicated.

I could go on for days...but really, I'm just trying to make generalities. That's the best I can offer since there is no set -kind- of relationship between you two (as in they aren't collared to you, etc). Jump in, have fun, stay in the shallow end for a while until you get used to the water.

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to VixenSara)

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RE: New person - 11/22/2006 12:18:29 PM

VixenSara

Posts: 9
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

Thank you, that is how it has been, just lately i have gotten this vibe but like you said keep it simple.

(in reply to Aine)

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RE: New person - 11/22/2006 1:15:16 PM

kittensangel

Posts: 37
Joined: 10/25/2006
Status: offline

I am not sure where your are in TN but i might sugest finding a local group. That way you can get get ot know other Doms and that way your sub can also learn as well.

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RE: New person - 11/22/2006 2:37:27 PM

slavemaia

Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline

i agree - move slowly (did i do that? nope. But hindsight is 20/20 - lol). In any event other than physical harm, with not knowing what You're doing, there is the potential emotional and psychological damage. This is a very fun lifestyle, but it is also a serious one in that human beings are involved. Once the non-pysical damage is done, it may or may not heal. Have fun and mostly, my recommendation - care for each O/other.

_____________________________

She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

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RE: New person - 11/22/2006 8:40:04 PM

VixenSara

Posts: 9
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

Thanks so much for the advice, I am in middle Tn 45 minutes outside of nashville.

VixenSara

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RE: New person - 11/22/2006 10:31:57 PM

DevilsVendetta

Posts: 63
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

I'm going to play Devil's Advocate and say move as quickly as possible. Your best bet to a lasting D/s relationship? Propose marriage ASAP!

Thought that would be more interesting than me also saying "move slowly".

Anywho, my one little added bit of advice, if you sub has some experience, actually listen to them. Don't fall for this whole "I'm a Dom, I should naturally know what to do, my sub expects me to know everything" crap. It doesn't work like that

_____________________________

God is naught but the values that surround him, my honor is the only deity I will give lip service

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RE: New person - 11/23/2006 7:01:34 AM

VixenSara

Posts: 9
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

Nope not doing the whole marraige thing again. 13 years of that hell was enough LOL. Seriously moving slowly is what i need and is the best bet.

VixenSara

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