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jblack -> RE: is it possible...? (11/24/2006 2:14:27 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia
when you've been to therapy as often as i have, you learn a few things
1. therapists don't know everything
2. drugs don't change anything
3. life still sucks after all these years.
While I should probably try to offer some "optimistic" advice, I'd have to say that I tend to think those three points are probably accurate.
So, it sounds like you're either asking for information on how to kill yourself or you are offering a "cry for help." If it is the latter, I would say that online message boards may not be the best places to "cry for help." After all, no one really knows you or understands your problems here, and, while there might be some mental health professionals who are also members, it's not like we have any particular training to deal with a "cry for help."
If it is the former, however, there is a book called Suicide: Methods and Consequences by Geo Stone that you might look at. Many people claim that this book is "irresponsible" (and I'm sure many will think that my response to you is "irresponsible" as well) because it describes various methods of committing suicide in detail. However, it also explains that most methods don't work. Life after a suicide attempt sounds pretty alarming, so it's worth it to consider what might happen if things don't go as planned.
I've also heard that it is actually rather hard to kill oneself by overdosing on prescription medicine (i.e., sleeping pills, tranquillizers) or on over-the-counter drugs (i.e., benadryl, sominex). It isn't so much because the doses aren't high enough or because someone is "immune." My understanding is that it is because your body does not want to be destroyed, even if your mind feels like ending it all; the survival instinct will come through, even if you don't want it to.
But I don't speak from personal experience. Although I've been suicidal on more than one occasion, I never acted upon any impulses because I did my research: I learned that suicide is a bad option not because life is so grand but because death is so hard. I can't offer platitudes about how life will get better or spout the standard rhetoric about how suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. All I can say is that suicide probably sucks about as much as life does; the process of committing suicide is much more arduous than you'd like to believe. There's nothing easy about it.
Consider this poem by the ever so witty Dorothy Parker:
Resumé
Razors pain you; Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give;
Gas smells awful; Might as well live.
The line breaks may be off here (the version I found on the Internet doesn't look quite right when compared to the image I have of this poem in my mind's eye); forgive me if they are wrong.
Anyway, the point is that killing yourself will not be easy, just like living won't be easy. Wish I could tell you something different. Wish there was a magic pill, both for living and for dying. But there isn't one. Various Internet sites, message boards, essays by suicide attempters, and Stone's book all led to the conclusion that suicide is much harder than it might appear. I recommend doing your own research on the subject; it is the most important decision you'll make, so you better be well-informed.
In the end, perhaps, you'll reach the same conclusion articulated by Ms. Parker and espoused by myself: Might as well live. I have to say that I hope you do, too.
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