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RE: What do you do when your's displays unstable behavior? - 11/23/2006 11:39:29 PM

twistedwillow

Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: joyinslavery

quote:

ORIGINAL: briska

my Sir says in response to the OP:

" personal actions other than for displeasure justifies and exemplifies the salute and threatening actions deserving. binds notwithstanding, violates displeasure and codes copes with unjustifiable situations"

~briska

I think something might have gotten lost in the translation (??).

Me thinks briska was just following the OPs style of writing\question asking ... ie, totally incomprehensible ( ya know kinda like taking the piss outa the guy )

twistedwillow

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RE: What do you do when your's displays unstable behavior? - 11/24/2006 12:42:52 AM

SweetDommes

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I totally don't understand the OP, or most of his subsequent posts.

To the OP - Overall, shit happens to people and causes stress - prehaps your inability to communicate clearly is causing your partner's stress? Anyway, rather than asking inconmprehensable 'questions' of us - maybe you should try talking to your partner (and try to remain coherent).

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RE: What do you do when your's displays unstable behavior? - 11/24/2006 1:04:24 AM

UtopianRanger

Posts: 3251
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jonathan

Other than normal displeasure, of course. What means do you use to bring actions that are out of character and even threatening the attention necessary & deserving? i'm in a bit of a bind right now, and ready to violate my personal code if i can't find a way to cope with my current situation.

To be honest, i'm only interested in responses from male submissives that are in, or have attempted to be in, long term relationships with their Mistresses.

Hi Jonathon......

I think you should relax and give it some time. Leave her alone for a while and don't e-mail or contact her. Let her sort things out - Don't force yourself on her ; you'll lose your dignity

It's both important and a virtue to endure and persevere in the face of failure. I know it's hard but Robert Redford said it best : '' The last thing this world needs is another man chasing a woman that doesn't want him.''

Walk away and fight the next battle.

Best wishes.

- R

< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 11/24/2006 1:06:56 AM >

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RE: What do you do when your's displays unstable behavior? - 11/24/2006 4:23:31 AM

wandersalone

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hi Jonathan

standard disclaimer - I am not a male sub ..

I am a little confused as to the exact nature of your question so will offer a few ideas -

If you are confused/concerned about someone else's behaviour they are generally not going to clearly know how you feel unless you tell them. Hoping that they will pick up on your reactions/mood/silence generally leads to more confusion.

You say something about the person reacting or being out of character, was there a trigger, did something different happen in this particular situation. Do you know them well enough to accurately know how what they are like in a range of situations?

You also mention bipolar - have they had a change in medications, change in therapists, change in life etc etc

I figure you get my drift - talk to the person, discuss how you felt in a non-threatening way, don't use blame or guilt, let them know you are confused.

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RE: What do you do when your's displays unstable behavior? - 11/24/2006 6:58:48 AM

joyinslavery

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Joined: 6/21/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jonathan

mmm, this is fun. my first original post after 6 months reading and replying and the only one who had a clue in repsonse was the Lucky Albatross. Bless Her.

i've been advised about benji & jis and have this: know Spanish and the ending vowel of "a" or "o"? i've never seen this in print before, but, "bendeja", boys. Or butt, bendeja, boys.

Diurnal & lorelei, sorry, but i don't think i'm being vague. Bipolar is bipolar.

Very good, briska, you're last post is better. And from what i've read here for 6 months, male & female views do differ. What has impressed me the most is that posts by women to this forum, with subject matter that is approriate to all, are only answered by women. And me or one or two other boys, check it out, do a search.

The quality of the responses is directly related to the quality of the question.

I'm glad you were 'advised' about me and benji. Perhaps that same person could 'advise' you of some other things as well? Oh, that's right...probably not.

Good to see you again. Welcome back buddy!

Btw...You have to admit, that post by benji WAS really funny.

< Message edited by joyinslavery -- 11/24/2006 7:06:04 AM >

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RE: What do you do when your's displays unstable behavior? - 11/24/2006 9:59:17 PM

cloudboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jonathan

Other than normal displeasure, of course. What means do you use to bring actions that are out of character and even threatening the attention necessary & deserving? i'm in a bit of a bind right now, and ready to violate my personal code if i can't find a way to cope with my current situation.

To be honest, i'm only interested in responses from male submissives that are in, or have attempted to be in, long term relationships with their Mistresses.

General Response:

I think the stability you need in a FEMDOM is greater than you would need in regular M2F relationship.

Who wants to go out on the edge with someone who doesn't have their shit together?

Who (as a sub) wants the un-enviable task of having to cross examine their DOMME?

Direct Response:

If I understand your question, you seem to be saying "I thought I was submitting to this kind or person but now I think I am submitting to another kind of person (as in bad.)

LA is right, if you can, try to find out what is behind the variance.

I might also say, what you describe is probably the biggest pitfall to LDR courting, relocating, and bet the ranch on a first impression dating. This model doesn't allow you the time and luxury to find out who your prospective partner really is.

Good luck.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 11/24/2006 10:01:54 PM >

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RE: What do you do when your's displays unstable behavior? - 11/24/2006 10:46:47 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jonathan

Other than normal displeasure, of course. What means do you use to bring actions that are out of character and even threatening the attention necessary & deserving? i'm in a bit of a bind right now, and ready to violate my personal code if i can't find a way to cope with my current situation.

To be honest, i'm only interested in responses from male submissives that are in, or have attempted to be in, long term relationships with their Mistresses.

You need to step out of 'sub' mode and into 'relationship' mode. If you don't point out that her behavior has the potential to damage your relationship unless she gets some professional medical attention you will both suffer the consequences of remaining silent in light of this particular sort of need. Therapy's are available for those with a bipolar disorder, but ignoring it won't make it go away and may, in fact, make it worse. She's in dire need of proper medical diagnosis to start the best course of therapy for her.

If you absolutely must see yourself as her submissive, then consider the service you can truly provide to her by pointing out what she may not be seeing for herself because of her own illness.

How you do that is simply with respect. Tell her that you fear for her, that you feel that you honor her best by being truthful with her, that her well-being and the well-being of your relationship is of the utmost importance to you. You need not violate your own codes to do so but at the same time, you also have to realize the damage which can happen to 'you' if you fail to protect yourself from any violence she may initiate towards you when she's feeling threatening.

You can encourage her without casting judgement on her, you can urge her without trying to seize the power you've turned over if you are careful with your delivery and try to speak with her at an appropriate time, not when she's in the middle of some manic episode, but when she's calm and rational and more likely to be open to your observations.

I fully embrace being female, but I've also been friends (best friends) for close to 30 years with someone who is bi-polar so thought you might appreciate the perspective.

Well wishes, Jonathan,

Celeste

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: What do you do when your's displays unstable behavior? - 11/25/2006 8:17:17 AM

Celeste43

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Uh, don't get involved with unstable people to begin with? Or is that too easy an answer?

Look, you need to define unstable. Are you unstable and wondering if any malesubs would submit to you or have you had an experience with an out of control sub?

Lots of us have problems, physical and emotional. The only responsible thing is to be honest about it long before collaring time. Then the other person can make an informed decision if you're too much work to be with or not. In addition, you don't get involved with others if you aren't already trying to get your life under control, meaning doctors, therapists, accountants, lawyers etc depending on the problem. Because if you aren't willing to do something about your own problems, I can assure you that no one else will want to take you on. Or if they do make that mistake, they won't stay for long.

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RE: What do you do when your's displays unstable behavior? - 11/25/2006 3:30:48 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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To the OP...with disclaimer femsub here..ok...maybe this is a seasonal/holiday thing?....Tempting

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RE: What do you do when your's displays unstable behavior? - 11/25/2006 4:39:12 PM

GirlyDevil

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I'm having fun reading all of your responses.

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RE: What do you do when your's displays unstable behavior? - 11/25/2006 7:06:17 PM

angaothsi

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Though I am not a male sub in a TPE with a Mistress, might I suggest PMS, or are you talking about something much more dramatic?

PMS is a very real thing, even I get mean and bitchy.

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RE: What do you do when your's displays unstable behavior? - 11/25/2006 7:37:10 PM

Daddysredhead

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

don't get involved with unstable people to begin with

This is similar to a great quote from a fellow fem sub... "Rule 1: Don't fuck idiots."

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RE: What do you do when your's displays unstable behavior? - 11/25/2006 7:59:57 PM

TeacherNStudent

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There's an old saying "Never sleep with anyone crazier than you are."

This has the unfortunate side-effect of cutting way down on the number of available partners . . . but it also cuts down on the crime rate, too. [grin]

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