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RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites - 12/21/2006 2:11:01 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DsGUARDIAN

Don't shout, it's exceedingly rude.

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RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites - 12/21/2006 2:17:53 PM

DsGUARDIAN

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I am not shouting. I have limited manuel dexterity. Typing this way is very slow.

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RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites - 12/21/2006 2:45:09 PM

DsGUARDIAN

Posts: 25
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if you want to know more about us visit us at alt or go to our website at visualbloom.com

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RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites - 12/21/2006 6:56:32 PM

RedSavageSlave

Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DsGUARDIAN

mrrpete,

I LIKE YOUR HAT AND BEARD.

AT ALT YOU DO NOT GET BANNED FOR RAPE, KNOWINGLY SPREADING VD, STALKING OR CALLING SOME ONE'S EMPLOYER OR SOCIAL WORKER AND TELLING THEM LIES BECAUSE YOUR ADVANCES WERE TURNED DOWN. BUT YOU DO GET BANNED FOR WARNING ANOTHER PERSON THERE ABOUT THE PERSON.

When you join ALT..you are SUPPOSED to read the TOS...and then click that you agree to them..I dont see the problem here.

If you broke TOS...you should be banned..if you dont like their TOS..dont join..

<wonders WHY this is such a tough concept to supposedly reasonably thinking adults>

_____________________________

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So many thoughts, so few of them rational

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RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites - 12/21/2006 7:52:14 PM

DsGUARDIAN

Posts: 25
Joined: 11/10/2006
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RSS,

I miss the connection between your comment and mine. I did not get banned. I was responding what someone else said. I do not think rapists should roam free in the lifestyle. Surely you do not disagree with that.

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RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites - 12/21/2006 7:58:19 PM

DsGUARDIAN

Posts: 25
Joined: 11/10/2006
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What guardians do is give newbies advice on how to reduce their chance of getting raped. I am baffled that so many have a problem with us doing that. It seems like a very irrational response to me.

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RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites - 12/21/2006 8:05:16 PM

RedSavageSlave

Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
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I dont think rapists should roam free period..why is this a lifestyle issue?

and if you cannot see the connection between my comment and yours...<shrugs> I would think it obvious..

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RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites - 12/21/2006 8:44:55 PM

DsGUARDIAN

Posts: 25
Joined: 11/10/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: DsGUARDIAN

mrrpete,

I LIKE YOUR HAT AND BEARD.

AT ALT YOU DO NOT GET BANNED FOR RAPE, KNOWINGLY SPREADING VD, STALKING OR CALLING SOME ONE'S EMPLOYER OR SOCIAL WORKER AND TELLING THEM LIES BECAUSE YOUR ADVANCES WERE TURNED DOWN. BUT YOU DO GET BANNED FOR WARNING ANOTHER PERSON THERE ABOUT THE PERSON.

When you join ALT..you are SUPPOSED to read the TOS...and then click that you agree to them..I dont see the problem here.

If you broke TOS...you should be banned..if you dont like their TOS..dont join..

<wonders WHY this is such a tough concept to supposedly reasonably thinking adults>

Since I did not break TOS I do not see how your comment is reasonable.

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RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites - 12/21/2006 8:48:26 PM

mnottertail

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I am for that, Sir.....how might this be accomplished here, what with the focus on one liners more prevalent, and concrete than actual rape, forgive me for acting the fool here, but is a role I burden myself with oft times.....here goes a sex site, say no more, and at some point two or more people agree to meet, with or without TIC approval, by some mechanism yet undefined, but you can save one or two of these vestal virgins from the horror of gobbling my cock like a turkey, when the whole of SSC and RACK cannot?

If you are an adjunct to to some larger but ineffectual cause; then sir I am for you. But I have yet to see anything convince me of more than a well placed heart.....

So you are among the voices that caterwaul and flail about in the life space of OMG this could get you cut up from asshole to shoesole, and being no greener (insert Frost here) how is this a disticntion without a difference? Now as for the original poster having good intentions, I doubt that, because I looked at the site that perported to cure the ills of a lifetime and if I cared to eat her pissflaps I was in, after that it seems that common sense rules and ------

Well, enough of my thoughts, how about you all come out here and lay a reasonble who, what, why, where and when type of thing on us out here, I am willing to be convinced-------

Really,
Ron

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RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites - 12/22/2006 6:05:13 AM

RedSavageSlave

Posts: 733
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DsGUARDIAN

Since I did not break TOS I do not see how your comment is reasonable.

<sigh> OK...let me explain it..

It had nothing to do with you being or not being banned....

it was you Bitching about being held to a set of TOS that you agree to when you join...

You dont like the TOS.. DONT JOIN!

<wonders if I am really being that oblique>

<edited to add>

Is this what Ron feels like when no one gets him??

< Message edited by RedSavageSlave -- 12/22/2006 6:09:27 AM >

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RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites - 12/22/2006 6:13:37 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DsGUARDIAN

What guardians do is give newbies advice on how to reduce their chance of getting raped. I am baffled that so many have a problem with us doing that. It seems like a very irrational response to me.

First, is rape a serious problem in the lifestyle? Honestly, I get out and about more than the average bear, and while it's (sadly) all too common to hear of lifestylers being raped in vanilla environments by vanillas, I don't think I recall very many instances of a lifestyler being raped by another lifestyler. To be fair, there are a (very( few instances out there, but my point is that while they are rather commonplace to online stories, they are exceptionally rare in real time.

Are you sure you folks aren't chasing unicorns and faeries?

Are you trained and certified as a rape counselor? Who developed these recommendations?

Perhaps you could do us all a service and name the top ten bits of advice you bestow upon newbies. If it's your objective to altruistically provide information to prevent rapes, you should be using every public forum (like Collarme).

John

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RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites - 12/22/2006 7:10:38 AM

drawntothedark

Posts: 572
Joined: 10/19/2006
From: Arkansas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: DsGUARDIAN

Since I did not break TOS I do not see how your comment is reasonable.

<sigh> OK...let me explain it..

It had nothing to do with you being or not being banned....

it was you Bitching about being held to a set of TOS that you agree to when you join...

You dont like the TOS.. DONT JOIN!

<wonders if I am really being that oblique>

<edited to add>

Is this what Ron feels like when no one gets him??

no Red I understand you. I think we all get it, except those of us you chose not to, just to have something to argue about.

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RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites - 12/22/2006 11:56:40 AM

jhealey74

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Interesting diversity here.... after wading through this thread I see some of the same "spirit" that makes b.com interesting. Yes, I frequent that site - and like it very much. I'll spend some time here now, too, to see what fits best..

btw, I set up a profile on alt but never paid for it and found that without paying I couldn't do anything meaningful there. Craigslist is, imo, best for buying and selling stuff - relationships seem rare (I don't consider NSA sex to be a relationship)

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RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites - 12/22/2006 3:41:37 PM

akbarbarian

Posts: 596
Joined: 12/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistresssavanna
Dear stef,
I am sorry to invade your closed community here.

I don't find this community closed in the least thus far, but quite polite and welcoming for the large part. It's the stomping and yelling that caused some fuss. I expect you are very welcome here, but the stomping and yelling isn't. However if your only goal is to advertise, with stomping and yelling as you said you wouldn't have posted here if not for your ties to The Core, well it hardly seems like you want to be welcomed as is. For someone who promotes love and safety in the BDSM community, I'd think you'd want to make friends as well as just advertise. I hope wires were crossed somewhere and you want to be welcomed as the latter.

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RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites - 12/22/2006 3:54:08 PM

MaryT

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Joined: 12/8/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LordODiscipline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover
[snip]Judging by your previous posts you're reasonably intelligent and these few, simple questions should pose no challenge to your ability to reply.

John

Wanna Bet?

~J

There is a big difference between "should" and "will."

MaryT

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Post #: 335

RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites - 12/22/2006 6:39:37 PM

DsGUARDIAN

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We give out advise just as it is given out here in ask a Master or ask a sub. But we do it in a more civil invironment. The degree of negativity here has surprised us, or at least me. What we say is much the same as what is in any good intro book on the lifestyle. The people we deal with never heard of ssc, rack, safecalls and have never read a book on the lifestyle. Sometimes people who meet online do get raped. There are preditors out there, especialy online.

In the terms I raised, the signifagance of the TOS is that it protects the preditors, not the victims. Therefore, it is a good thing to have someone there giving out safety info. Savanna also runs a lesbian/bi group. I think it has 80 to 100 members. We have a T that does outreach to other Ts. Mama does a kinky "Dear Abby" thing. Her group has about 100 members. Moe has a subs support group. Erica is working on an online lifestyle library. Many of us serve as mentors. There are plans to set up a safe call network to serve those do not have anyone else to turn to.

If anyone does not think we should do this, then they should also be against anyone else doing something like it. I am amazed at the negativity here.

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RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites - 12/22/2006 9:34:36 PM

SoftTop

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Joined: 3/23/2006
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I did have an alt account. I dropped it very soon after joining, because it appeared to be more of a swingers hook-up site, and that just wasn't what I was looking for. I also have a bondage.com account, and I really loved it, because of all the great stories, pictures and video they have. I also feel the cost is not at all unreasonable. I have not used ewither of those sites to meet people for personal play, because I have enough of that IRL anyway, but if I was going to use a site for that, it would be this one right here. Mistress Savanna, I feel like I got the vibe you intended in your OP, and unfortunately, many others didn't.(or, they just jumped on the bash-the-op bandwagon like SO many around here are wont to do). I think you have handled yourself with grace and poise and I commend you for that. :) Thanks for the post!

Softie

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RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites - 12/22/2006 9:43:10 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Good heavens, I'm not generally a spelling harpy- but if you're making it your mission to help people, you should be able to spell what you're helping them against, "predators."

I'm against enabling and coddling and cult behavior. All of those are done in the name of "helping" people.

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Post #: 338

RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites - 12/22/2006 9:46:46 PM

SoftTop

Posts: 24
Joined: 3/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DsGUARDIAN

AT ALT YOU DO NOT GET BANNED FOR RAPE, KNOWINGLY SPREADING VD, STALKING OR CALLING SOME ONE'S EMPLOYER OR SOCIAL WORKER AND TELLING THEM LIES BECAUSE YOUR ADVANCES WERE TURNED DOWN. BUT YOU DO GET BANNED FOR WARNING ANOTHER PERSON THERE ABOUT THE PERSON.

The same is true here at collarme. We aren't allowed to talk negatively about anyone here without risk of being banned. I think this is to protect people from false accusations, because those happen as often or more often as people actually stalking anyone. Suzy sub, and Sally switch decide they don't like the fact that Danny dom likes to play with many ladies, so they make up stories about him and smear his good (and busy) name all over collarme...I can see why that sort of thing isnt allowed. My suggestion to anyone learning about a new potential playmate, is to check them out thoroughy first. Don't rely on suzy and sallys word of mouth alone...it could be very biased. Do your homework people...Verify addresses, phone numbers, criminal history, and for christ's sake, get some friggin medical verification for the VD issue. If people are so "der duh der" that they can't even think of these very basic safety issues...well, I just don't know. :P
Softie

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RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites - 12/23/2006 5:00:44 AM

RedSavageSlave

Posts: 733
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DsGUARDIAN

In the terms I raised, the signifagance of the TOS is that it protects the preditors, not the victims.

The significance of the TOS is that it protects the website owners and offers a clear set of guidelines to its members...

That is exactly what a TOS is supposed to do. It is not meant to act as a local law enforcement agency nor is it supposed to give the idea that adults are not supposed to use their heads in relating with other people..

Sometimes this reminds me of the lady who tried to sue McDonald's for her weight because she chose to eat there all the time and they never warned her..

Do we just need to come up with a consumer warning that says.."If you are not intelligent enough to use this item...DONT!"

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My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

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