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RE: What is with the *picture* deal? - 11/30/2006 11:00:40 PM   
ZenDragoness


Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AGORANTE
snip

Men take their pornography with pictures or videos. Women prefer literary porno. The Story of "O" and the Anne Rice Sleeping Beauty books are read almost solely by women.
snip

 


Do you have any proof concerning the numbers of "almost solely"  female readers of "The story of O"? I am really wondering because i read it with 18, because a male friend gave his copy to me. If you look for threads about the book, you will notice that a lot of men have read it.




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RE: What is with the *picture* deal? - 11/30/2006 11:16:28 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
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No, of course he doesn't.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ZenDragoness

Do you have any proof concerning the numbers of "almost solely"  female readers of "The story of O"?

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RE: What is with the *picture* deal? - 11/30/2006 11:44:11 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
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Off topic... but congradulations LaM on over 6000 posts! Have the elephants cum yet? Or one of them at least?

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RE: What is with the *picture* deal? - 12/1/2006 3:11:30 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SassySue

I came across a profile of a Dom who lives in my area.  I dropped him a line, telling him that I lived nearby and while I wasn't looking for a relationship, I am open to a new friend.  The reply was short.  "Where do you live and do you have a pic?"  Now, I took exception to this and replied rather tersely that of course I had a pic, but that since I didn't judge my friends by *looks* criteria, I didn't feel it necessary to provide one.  I thanked him for his time and doubt I'll hear from him again.  This begs the question...Why would he think I would want to provide this?

I've asked quite a few people on both sides for a pic.  I just like a face to put to words.  Some I've asked on a first email and some on the twentieth.  I think you are reading much more into his request than was probably intended.  Afterall...you are the one that initially contacted him. 

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 12/1/2006 3:12:35 AM >

(in reply to SassySue)
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RE: What is with the *picture* deal? - 12/1/2006 3:23:22 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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I'm betting the fact you contacted him made him believe the just friends bit wasn't true, that you actually fancied him. And that's what made him want a pic, to see if you turn him on.

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RE: What is with the *picture* deal? - 12/1/2006 9:45:36 AM   
ElektraUkM


Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

The other day I received an introductory email.  The lady did not say anything about pictures one way or another.  I sent a picture along with my reply, but my reply did not specifically request a picture back.

I heard nothing back (which was fine).

I like to get the 'scaring' out of the way early.

Jeff


heh heh

And back to the question:

If someone is offering friendship, and you haven't even got round to talking about anything at all, and they ask for a picture... well... I would just think... bleh. We don't even know if we have anything in common, much less have any level of friendship... why are you asking for a pic.

Offering a pic is something else, sending one because you think someone might want to know who they're talking to, fine. Asking for one..? bleh. Just makes me feel creepy.

Yes, of course men are visual when they're fantasising that's WHY I wouldn't be sending one LOL. I want to make friends, I don't want to engage in anything else. Especially if I'm not even there

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: What is with the *picture* deal? - 12/1/2006 11:17:08 AM   
Missokyst


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Count me among the "doesn't care what you look like", group.  Sassy made it clear she was only looking for a friend, why would it matter what either of them looked like?  I am not attracted to many of my friends.  And I like to think getting to know someone for friendship purposes is not dependant on how they look, long or involved as it is, in getting to know someone. 
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: whisperedsighs

I agree with LA.  I want to see a picture.  I would rather a person see what I look like before I get into the long process of emailing back and forth.  That way they know who and what I look like right from the start so that I am not wasting their time either.  Looks aren't everything, but I know that if I am honest with myself and others that they do count in the total mix of attraction.


_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: What is with the *picture* deal? - 12/1/2006 12:26:29 PM   
ImperatorMaximus


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Joined: 11/6/2006
From: Arkansas, USA
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It's a given that humans put a lot of stock in the looks deparment; we are, after all, subject to the laws of nature and the 'theory' of natural selection.  As much as we'd like to separate ourselves from the rest of the animal kingdom we are neck-deep in it. 

I don't mean to cause shock, harm or homicide bombings throughout the civilised world, but much of our decision-making in matters physical hinges upon the linchpin of physical attraction.  As I've said, it's human nature.  This does not mean, however, that we've got to behave like animals.  Some, believe it or not, look at the person as a whole; after all, looks fade and we all wind up as we started - toothless, drooling and soiling our drawers.  I've learned the hard way that looks can indeed be deceiving.

But alas, there are some who value photos solely for their masturbational value... I cplace these ersatz lifestylers in the Deviant category, not worht anyone's time and effort... it takes practice and skill to weed these sad individuals out.


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RE: What is with the *picture* deal? - 12/1/2006 12:29:08 PM   
mnottertail


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you may know them by their deeds.  The drippy stickiness is also a dead givaway.

Ron

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RE: What is with the *picture* deal? - 12/1/2006 2:31:59 PM   
LaTigresse


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Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

I like to see people faces, I think you can read a lot off them  The eyes are the windows to the soul, so they say...whoever "they" are


I agree. I rarely ask for a photo but I love when someone sends me one. Just a nice clear face shot is wonderful.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: What is with the *picture* deal? - 12/1/2006 6:02:51 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterKalif

I think that guy was just the average player...I never ask for a picture right away, but I do expect one eventually (maybe after 2 or 3 messages)....I don't know why, but it seems the people closer to me either have blank profiles or simply do not reply....I don't know why that is, maybe it can be explained by one of "Murphy's Laws"?


I also would not ask for a picture right away, I'd need to communicate for a while to see if I was interested enough to see who I was "talking" to.

Damn Vampyre


(in reply to MasterKalif)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: What is with the *picture* deal? - 12/1/2006 7:44:10 PM   
Denny17


Posts: 86
Joined: 11/5/2006
Status: offline
I'm ugly and don't want to hear about it from random strangers, and I'm liking being anonomyous. My pictures probably would dang scare the bodyhair off of others.

(in reply to SassySue)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: What is with the *picture* deal? - 12/1/2006 7:46:22 PM   
SassySue


Posts: 54
Joined: 2/12/2006
Status: offline
laughs, signs on for a pic.. cheaper than waxing!

(in reply to Denny17)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: What is with the *picture* deal? - 12/1/2006 9:23:32 PM   
DiamondOrchid


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Denny17
My pictures probably would dang scare the bodyhair off of others.

How about sending me a pic? I can't afford full-body elecrolysis and I'm tired of sugaring. I promise to send rave reviews back.
 
D.

_____________________________

Relationships are like full time jobs and should be treated as such. If your boy/girlfriend wants to leave, they should give you two weeks' notice and severance pay. Also they should have to find you a temp.

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RE: What is with the *picture* deal? - 12/1/2006 11:53:06 PM   
Techyon


Posts: 20
Joined: 5/25/2005
Status: offline
So yea, its "sorta" serene when someone has a picture in their profile, but by the same token, Out of some amusement. "I'm a analyst by career"
I did alittle shopping in the past, I can name at least 50 profiles off of the top of my head that totally simply amuse me.

If you goto Google and search the Image results, its almost funny how many images you shall find that people have randomnly selected to show as themselves.
I work with people daily, its sometimes interesting discovering how some people mascerade themselves in life.

I've met Many people R/L, The few I've met are highly considerably friends, But wouldnt you know it, one person from here, that had the most odd picture, hasnt responded or shown their face, or even if they did, It was not of the picture they have on the site.

Just something to ponder,
Some people go through life seeking absolution, but shall never find it living within ones virtually created fantasy world.



(in reply to SassySue)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: What is with the *picture* deal? - 12/2/2006 12:25:15 AM   
mgdartist


Posts: 328
Joined: 5/13/2006
From: irving tx
Status: offline
Good lord-
This site has been an enigma since the day I arrived over 6 months ago. A padlocked box with no key, A riddle which has it's answer as a question. When I arrived, never dreaming such a place existed, I was elated to say the least. "FINALLY" I thought, here are "my people". I always thought how much easier it would be, in a largely vanilla world, if those ladies who were sub, bore some telltale mark or glowed a certain pale light, so I'd not have to sift thru so many, many who weren't, often being sidetracked along the way, to finally find but a few. Now here they all were. This is where they were hiding all along. Likely I'd find my perfect sub-mate within days. *sigh*

It didn't take long to learn how mistaken I was, and further, how my fierce pride in what I was, wasn't common here, especially among the subs. MOST of which did not even have the courage to post their pics. As time went on I learned that likely even more than those who even had visible profiles, more did not, as most of the contacts I began recieving, were from lurkers who'd de-activated their profiles. After a while longer, I learned there were perhaps many reasons why, but the biggest reason was that they'd long since had enough of the "crap" they endured while having a public profile up, from rude, disrespectful, arrogant "doms" who often began their domination with the initial email. Cockshots, barking orders over the message system, men of little class or manners, just here to find a doormat. That word I've read in so many subs profiles, a thing they are always not. You'd think these idiots might finally get the message, but no, as long as I remain here, it seems to get worse. I always believed dominants/masters would naturally be more gentlemanly and chivalrous...till I came here. Jesus, as if.

Because of the list of recent sign-ons, they(subs) are barraged when they arrive, but only it seems if they have pics, as those who don't, dont make the list. Before the end of their first day, they are usually overwhelmed and posting complaints and pleas to "stop" or "slow down" in their journals, and very often adding they'll only reply to those who send pics. While few of them will admit it, they become jaded and bitter very quickly, and apparently change their profiles from seeking to "just looking for friends". I think this site with it's current dynamic has ruined thousands of sweet, sincere submissives, and has changed me deeply as a dominant, if only I could say for the better.

Conversely, if a dominant male, your profile may as well be offline, and messages you might send to any of them be for writing practice, since for the most part of 98% never get a reply. I have made some good friends while here among the subs, and have asked them about this annoying silence. I was informed in no uncertain terms that as far as the women are concerned its "tough shit...deal". They don't care one bit, and no matter how respectful and intelligent you may write, should they not reply, just don't care one whit how that might make you feel. They complained of short one-sentence messages, and "form letters" but after a period of writing unique and well written communiques to them, grew weary, knowing no matter what I wrote, just getting an answer was like pulling teeth. I rarely contact any submissives now, and have run the gamut of reaction to what can only be called "a resentful wall of silence".

My profile has a pic in every possible slot. I too am not done justice by any pic, and was informed of this by a few submissives I did manage to meet and have a play-day or 2 with from here. I am always apprehensive of ever asking to see a subs pic because of the very reaction the OP had. At one point I presumed that only insecure or ugly subs would fail to post a pic. I have learned the reverse is true.

Yes I am more visual. Yes I am interested in looks a great deal. Yes, I want a beautiful, intelligent submissive. No, I dont want a ugly or unattractive one. I'm a man. I'm painfully aware thats quite an unpopular thing among submissives, who feel their true beauty lies in their service and submission, not in their physicality. While they are at least half right, nonetheless, I refuse to entertain guilt for being as I was made. I've been called shallow, I've been told by several subs who watched my amateur videos with previous subs/slaves (which I allow them to see, as a calculated risk, thinking if they don't like me or my way of dominance, I just saved us both a great deal of time and frustration) that they just don't think they are my type, because of the beautiful, svelt, curvacious subs looks I had in the past. They hardly seem to react to me one way or another, but sure have an immediate insecure reaction to a previous sub which seems to threaten them, albeit long ago in my past. Yet in their profile they claim to seek only experienced doms. The list of negative aspects for both sides here goes on far longer, but showing any negativity whatsoever isnt tolerated or reasoned with. Staying positive in all the adversity here has only been doable by the sheer humor of just how insanely ridiculous and confusing it can often be.

So I'd just like to end this rant with a hearfelt plea:
Ladies please, for gods sake, POST YOUR PICS!...and if possible, raise your profile from wherever you buried it. Be proud of what you are. We are all lucky to have you, and would adore seeing you.
lol

Edit: Sorry that ive only spoken of the M/f aspects of the many faceted lifestyle that exists here, as it's all I really have any knowledge of so far.


< Message edited by mgdartist -- 12/2/2006 12:47:11 AM >

(in reply to Techyon)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: What is with the *picture* deal? - 12/2/2006 8:41:02 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline
Heh.. maybe it is just me but I don't mind having less attractive friends.  It makes me look really cute by comparison! 
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: ImperatorMaximus

It's a given that humans put a lot of stock in the looks deparment; we are, after all, subject to the laws of nature and the 'theory' of natural selection.  As much as we'd like to separate ourselves from the rest of the animal kingdom we are neck-deep in it. 


_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to ImperatorMaximus)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: What is with the *picture* deal? - 12/2/2006 8:52:50 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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There are a variety of reasons for not posting pics.  I tried to put one up that I found acceptable, which was a watercolor of me, but CM wouldn't allow it.  I thought a watercolor would be OK because it is me, but not as defined as an image to allow someone to peg me on the street, as missokyst.

Not everyone here can afford to be seen.  There are parents who have minor children, people going through nasty divorces, or like me, they might  own a business.  An argument can be made that if they are seen here, then obviously they were seen by someone who shares a similar kinked mentality.  But, do we really think that being similarly bent, makes them honorable people?  That they would never pass that info along to another?  I can tell you that in my past, I have been outed to a job from who knows who.  My job was never the same after that and a couple of years later I quit because of that prejudice against my being kinked.

My point is, while everyone here might be proud to be who we are, it isn't always possible to put out a pic until you are comfy with the person you are chatting with. 
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to mgdartist)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: What is with the *picture* deal? - 12/2/2006 9:09:00 AM   
MasterNdorei


Posts: 658
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline
i understand not having a picture posted in your profile, and while words can indeed tell more about who a person is inside, i must admit to will stop communicating with one who refuses to produce a picture eventually. This has nothing to do with a need for "beauty" or "physical attraction". If they are that shy, or reserved, there is no chance of them surviving what Master expects...

Master's dorei

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: What is with the *picture* deal? - 12/2/2006 9:16:58 AM   
mgdartist


Posts: 328
Joined: 5/13/2006
From: irving tx
Status: offline
yes, collarme's rules about the main profile shot are always causing plenty not to post, and firther if your main pic isnt approved, no other pics can be visible at all. But with no rules or requirements, we become as site b, with pics of puppy-dogs and "my favorite beer" identifying us in the profiles.
Obviously there will be some who, for good reason, cannot post a pic. but 2/3 of the subs in my state it seems have these "good reasons". I don't quite get that.

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 60
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