From: irving tx
This site has been an enigma since the day I arrived over 6 months ago. A padlocked box with no key, A riddle which has it's answer as a question. When I arrived, never dreaming such a place existed, I was elated to say the least. "FINALLY" I thought, here are "my people". I always thought how much easier it would be, in a largely vanilla world, if those ladies who were sub, bore some telltale mark or glowed a certain pale light, so I'd not have to sift thru so many, many who weren't, often being sidetracked along the way, to finally find but a few. Now here they all were. This is where they were hiding all along. Likely I'd find my perfect sub-mate within days. *sigh*
It didn't take long to learn how mistaken I was, and further, how my fierce pride in what I was, wasn't common here, especially among the subs. MOST of which did not even have the courage to post their pics. As time went on I learned that likely even more than those who even had visible profiles, more did not, as most of the contacts I began recieving, were from lurkers who'd de-activated their profiles. After a while longer, I learned there were perhaps many reasons why, but the biggest reason was that they'd long since had enough of the "crap" they endured while having a public profile up, from rude, disrespectful, arrogant "doms" who often began their domination with the initial email. Cockshots, barking orders over the message system, men of little class or manners, just here to find a doormat. That word I've read in so many subs profiles, a thing they are always not. You'd think these idiots might finally get the message, but no, as long as I remain here, it seems to get worse. I always believed dominants/masters would naturally be more gentlemanly and chivalrous...till I came here. Jesus, as if.
Because of the list of recent sign-ons, they(subs) are barraged when they arrive, but only it seems if they have pics, as those who don't, dont make the list. Before the end of their first day, they are usually overwhelmed and posting complaints and pleas to "stop" or "slow down" in their journals, and very often adding they'll only reply to those who send pics. While few of them will admit it, they become jaded and bitter very quickly, and apparently change their profiles from seeking to "just looking for friends". I think this site with it's current dynamic has ruined thousands of sweet, sincere submissives, and has changed me deeply as a dominant, if only I could say for the better.
Conversely, if a dominant male, your profile may as well be offline, and messages you might send to any of them be for writing practice, since for the most part of 98% never get a reply. I have made some good friends while here among the subs, and have asked them about this annoying silence. I was informed in no uncertain terms that as far as the women are concerned its "tough shit...deal". They don't care one bit, and no matter how respectful and intelligent you may write, should they not reply, just don't care one whit how that might make you feel. They complained of short one-sentence messages, and "form letters" but after a period of writing unique and well written communiques to them, grew weary, knowing no matter what I wrote, just getting an answer was like pulling teeth. I rarely contact any submissives now, and have run the gamut of reaction to what can only be called "a resentful wall of silence".
My profile has a pic in every possible slot. I too am not done justice by any pic, and was informed of this by a few submissives I did manage to meet and have a play-day or 2 with from here. I am always apprehensive of ever asking to see a subs pic because of the very reaction the OP had. At one point I presumed that only insecure or ugly subs would fail to post a pic. I have learned the reverse is true.
Yes I am more visual. Yes I am interested in looks a great deal. Yes, I want a beautiful, intelligent submissive. No, I dont want a ugly or unattractive one. I'm a man. I'm painfully aware thats quite an unpopular thing among submissives, who feel their true beauty lies in their service and submission, not in their physicality. While they are at least half right, nonetheless, I refuse to entertain guilt for being as I was made. I've been called shallow, I've been told by several subs who watched my amateur videos with previous subs/slaves (which I allow them to see, as a calculated risk, thinking if they don't like me or my way of dominance, I just saved us both a great deal of time and frustration) that they just don't think they are my type, because of the beautiful, svelt, curvacious subs looks I had in the past. They hardly seem to react to me one way or another, but sure have an immediate insecure reaction to a previous sub which seems to threaten them, albeit long ago in my past. Yet in their profile they claim to seek only experienced doms. The list of negative aspects for both sides here goes on far longer, but showing any negativity whatsoever isnt tolerated or reasoned with. Staying positive in all the adversity here has only been doable by the sheer humor of just how insanely ridiculous and confusing it can often be.
So I'd just like to end this rant with a hearfelt plea:
Ladies please, for gods sake, POST YOUR PICS!...and if possible, raise your profile from wherever you buried it. Be proud of what you are. We are all lucky to have you, and would adore seeing you.
Edit: Sorry that ive only spoken of the M/f aspects of the many faceted lifestyle that exists here, as it's all I really have any knowledge of so far.
< Message edited by mgdartist -- 12/2/2006 12:47:11 AM >