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Released & empty.....? - 12/2/2006 9:29:13 AM

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Joined: 3/6/2006
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i am feeling very hollow and fragile at the moment.... i have just been released by a newly found master..... it had taken alot for me to let my guard down and to give myself to him... he said i made him content....
i know that i should be fulfilled as it was his wish to let me go - but i just feel sad and empty...
how do you pick yourself up and give again?
xx

RE: Released & empty.....? - 12/2/2006 9:37:04 AM

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Joined: 1/24/2005
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You give yourself time to grieve and feel all that you are feeling. It's an old cliche, but true... everyday will get a bit easier than the day before. First, you take it moment to moment, then hour by hour, day by day... you get the picture. In the meantime, do not sit at the pc and fret. Go for a walk, the fresh air will help your spirit. Get up, even if you feel like you cannot. ~hug~

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

(in reply to ADomlesssub)

RE: Released & empty.....? - 12/2/2006 10:18:53 AM

notsurebutsweet

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Joined: 10/28/2006
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i do know how you feel. i was only with the Master that was training me for a lil over 4 months and when we split i felt like i couldn't go on. my friends would not let me just lay around and do nothing they made me laugh and feel good and told me that i did not fail Him. yes i felt like a failure after that and was ready to walk away from the life. well i have a Master now who has collared me and i am happy it is just the distance. so far things are going great but i do not know what tomorrow holds but if i am released again i know that my friends will be there for me to lean on again. and if you ever need to just talk drop me a line.

(in reply to angelic)

RE: Released & empty.....? - 12/2/2006 10:26:17 AM

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Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

You give yourself time to grieve and feel all that you are feeling. It's an old cliche, but true... everyday will get a bit easier than the day before. First, you take it moment to moment, then hour by hour, day by day... you get the picture. In the meantime, do not sit at the pc and fret. Go for a walk, the fresh air will help your spirit. Get up, even if you feel like you cannot. ~hug~

I second these very beautiful words of comfort... Be well, ADS, and know that if we could give you a real hug, we would...

~ DRH

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to angelic)

RE: Released & empty.....? - 12/2/2006 10:40:45 AM

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Joined: 8/13/2004
Status: offline

i'm sorry that you have been disappointd. my reading from your post is that it was real time and not online.

Good for you, there are too many online players and the end result is hurt. You on the other hand, have had an experience which can only be built upon. Think about it as a series of building blocks. Each interaction, you learn some thing from someone different. It helps you to develop into what you are, it defines your experience and your taste of life. Experience comes in all shapes and packages, so don't limit your vision.

I would suggest that you pamper yourself. Give yourself permission to go shopping, BUT don't do anything rash like getting your hair cut too short! Maybe a manicure or a massage. Eat chocolate, watch some girlie flicks, turn off the computer and go for a walk before the harsh UK winter sets in. Rug up by the fire, and write your feelings out, and allow your tears to flow. Give yourself the permission to grieve.

Be true to yourself and acknowledge your feelings. But remember, just because your a submissive your not a second rate citizen, and you need to look after you!

Good luck as you travel. Think back to spring, remember the daffidils that were growing wild, can you remember, the vivid colour of the trumpets? Do you remember the smell? Remember, spring will come again, and your next spring the colours will be alive and the smell will be stronger than before, why because your planting your garden, and seeking your Truth.

~mystique~

_____________________________

blessings
~mystique~

(in reply to ADomlesssub)

RE: Released & empty.....? - 12/2/2006 10:49:49 AM

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Joined: 10/20/2006
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I was under the same One for over 31 years until His death in 2000. I have waited until now to come back into the folds of the Lifestyle again...
give yourself some time to heal....
be well...lynn

(in reply to mystiquenz)

RE: Released & empty.....? - 12/2/2006 11:08:15 AM

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Joined: 10/8/2005
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Be patient with yourself, pampering, and gentle... feel all the hugs being sent your way... know that you are not alone... you will find One who will stay in your own time...

Master's dorei

(in reply to atendersoul)

RE: Released & empty.....? - 12/2/2006 11:28:00 AM

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Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I am so sorry this happened to you amd it is going to hurt but you can get past it. Give yourself time. Get involved in acatitivies talk to friends who understand. One thing that halped me after my late Master died was exercise cleared my head and got those feel good chemicals going. It is just going to tak a littline time though.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to MasterNdorei)

RE: Released & empty.....? - 12/2/2006 11:29:34 AM

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Joined: 3/6/2006
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Smiling..... Crying.... and above all hugging you all....xxx

Thank you so much for your words of comfort and wisdom.... bring on the chocolate!!!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

(in reply to MasterNdorei)

RE: Released & empty.....? - 12/2/2006 12:32:56 PM

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Joined: 9/11/2006
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awww hon Im so sorry... just because it was his wish to release you doesnt mean you have to be happy about it. It sucks!!! grab a pillow cry your tears then go out buy yourself something pretty and have your favorate comfert food do something fun just for you have a bath get a missage something for yourself.. Youv given him yourself and all that. Time to give yourself back to you!!

Magik's slave

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 12/2/2006 12:34:31 PM >

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to ADomlesssub)

RE: Released & empty.....? - 12/2/2006 12:38:54 PM

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Joined: 3/6/2006
Status: offline

Sniff.... once my red eyes have gone down and i will no longer be scaring small children with my she devil looks i am going to buy myself the laciest sexiest underwear i can find!!! Just for me...

ty lovely girl....xxx

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: Released & empty.....? - 12/2/2006 12:48:29 PM

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good for you

(in reply to ADomlesssub)

RE: Released & empty.....? - 12/2/2006 3:05:45 PM

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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Time is your best helper.

Then there's good judgement. If you don't have good judgement, then any choice you make will be suspect and likely not the best one. Good judgement comes from past mistakes, educating yourself, and acting on strength, not fear. Don't repeat your mistakes, be aware of them and change your habits and perceptions to make better choices.

Watch people, see how they act over long periods of time (months). Trust is a series of small leaps that must be reinforced.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_548339/mpage_1/key_trust/tm.htm#548757
To trust or not to trust

http://www.collarchat.com/m_534521/mpage_1/key_trust/tm.htm#534848
trust and abandonment issues

http://www.collarchat.com/m_48957/mpage_1/key_trust/tm.htm#48957
trust betrayed by master

http://www.collarchat.com/m_96129/mpage_1/key_trust/tm.htm#96129
will I ever trust a man again

http://www.collarchat.com/m_329482/mpage_1/key_trust/tm.htm#329482
learning to trust again after being hurt

http://www.collarchat.com/m_346651/mpage_1/key_trust/tm.htm#346651
how do you deal with broken trust?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_398537/mpage_1/key_trust/tm.htm#398537
trust...how to mend when it is broken

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ADomlesssub)

RE: Released & empty.....? - 12/2/2006 3:26:49 PM

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Joined: 2/26/2005
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and shoes nothing cures a broken heart like shoes and maybe a dress and some good music I prefer rebea and Tim for a broken heart but choclate, shoes and a new dress then a place to wear it.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Released & empty.....? - 12/3/2006 4:17:29 AM

Posts: 69
Joined: 3/6/2006
Status: offline

LA..

thank you so much for digging out the links to other posts based on trust for me - there was some great advice given within them..... I appreciate your effort....xxx

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Released & empty.....? - 12/3/2006 5:36:46 AM

Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
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I echo the sentiments of everyone here - good advice, all of it - and wish to add one more to the list.

I allowed myself to feel hurt, anger, pain, all of it, set a timer for a half our and "free wrote", forcing the pen across the page for every second of that time until the bell rang. When I couldn't think of anything I wrote "I can think of nothing nothing nothing nothing" until the next wave hit me. It allowed me work through and get out those feelings.

I kept the writings until I felt strong again, read them from time to time, and then when I was truly better (and not just having one good day) I burned them, sent those old feelings up in flames.

I am so sorry you are in pain. I wish there were more I could do for you.

_____________________________

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

(in reply to ADomlesssub)

RE: Released & empty.....? - 12/3/2006 6:27:35 AM

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Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline

You've been given the only advice there is, time.

I'd always felt that with the D/s or M/s relationship, the emotions were so much deeper, so much more...spiritual feels like a close description; but it turned out I was downplaying 'vanillas' -- any time a love was sincere, the recovery from losing it will be severe, much pain. You need your time to grieve, it's something every person who has felt genuine love and lost that relationship will feel.

Good news...we all survive and love again when we're ready, and you will too

(in reply to MmakeMme)

RE: Released & empty.....? - 12/3/2006 2:13:55 PM

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Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ADomlesssub

Sniff.... once my red eyes have gone down and i will no longer be scaring small children with my she devil looks i am going to buy myself the laciest sexiest underwear i can find!!! Just for me...

ty lovely girl....xxx

((gives a big O'l hug to ya)) if you need to talk more you can message me on the other side.. Im good at listening if nothing els :)

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to ADomlesssub)

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