RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer

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All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer

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RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer - 12/5/2006 10:03:04 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

lol where do they got to school to become PROFESSIONAL ENGENEERING MANAGER that they're taught such illiteracy.

Nigeria. Where else.

It's just fucking hilarious that dude is trying to claim to be American when he not speakening Engrish so goodness. He'd come off much more convincingly if he pretended to be a foreign prince or something. *swoons* How romantic.

His letters are actually funnier than mine, and I wish I could post them, but I've seen folks get mod-slapped for doing that so I ain't gonna. I do have the whole saga including his Mugu-bonics gems of true loveness declaramations posted here: http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=94734 They're worth registering for those forums to see.

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer - 12/5/2006 10:06:36 AM

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He's baaaack! He talks about his ailing mother so I inquire about her.

So nice to hear from you. How is your mother? Is she ill with butfudgeitis too, or is it some other bad sickness, like Wynonaryder Syndrome? What is your mother's name? I feel bad that she is in the hospital, but I hope she is being looked after well by strong, butch looking nurses who have long attachments for medical probing.

- Imma D.

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer - 12/5/2006 3:04:37 PM

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I found a quite lovely photo of a pretty young lady in a green sundress which I believe I will be sending to my eager suitor so he can see the woman he wants to marry. Watch him tell me how beautiful I am in upcoming correspondence.

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c71/stepanF/misc/babe.jpg

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer - 12/5/2006 7:06:05 PM

ShreveportMaster

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_____________________________

"And to sooth the Bosk, there was found a Singing Cowboy. To soothe the Cowboy, a kajira is needed."

Riders of Gor
Book 37, Pg 298 ;-)

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer - 12/5/2006 7:07:17 PM

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Changed my mind and decided on this tactic instead. Imma reveals that her last name is Dilldoe, and talks about her father Ron Jeremy Dilldoe, who invented a famous tool. Imma also sends a cute photo of "herself" holding a captioned sign with dude's name on it. Captioned photo courtesy of http://www.captioncity.com/ Of course I am going to ask that he do the same for me as a sign of romantic feeling and trust. So he'll be holding up a sign that says "Imma Dilldoe". LOL

http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q54/najasputatrix/me-and-patrick.jpg

I wanted to send you a picture. Since you cannot be here in person I wrote your name and took a picture of me with it so it is almost like you are here with me. What do you think? Do you think I am so beautiful, even though I have butfudgeitis? Some people say I do not look beautiful, and also they say I smell like a mix between old tunafish and unwashed homeless persons with dingleberries. It is the butfudgitis that makes this problem. But I hope I am beautiful to you anyway.

You say you want me to be your wife, but there are so many things you don't know about me yet! I think we should go slow and get to know more things about each other first. Tell me what you like to do for fun. Tell me about yourself. I want especially to know what you like to do in the bedroom. Do you like enemas, leather or ropes? I like these things very much. Also I like special clothes for us to wear and special words for us to call each other. Is that okay with you? Do you like those things too?

Also I am thinking to build trust I should tell you my last name also. I don't tell my real name to any other men I talk to, because they don't want the same things as I want and I do not know if I can trust them. My real last name is Dilldoe and I hope I can trust you with it.

You have told me about your mother so I will tell you about my father. His name was Ron Jeremy Dilldoe. He was a construction engineer like you, and he built tools for construction. In fact he invented a tool that made our family name well known, called the Dilldoe Jackhammer. Have you heard of it? You are an engineer so I thought you might know about this very famous tool. You might have even used it on yourself sometime. If you have, please tell me all about it. Ron Jeremy would be pleased if he knew you had used it.

- Imma Dilldoe

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer - 12/6/2006 2:56:12 AM

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hell naw lol

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer - 12/6/2006 10:15:38 AM

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The saga continues. Look, he's warming up to a money request.

<deleted>

Thank you for asking about my family. My uncle's name was Dick Dilldoe, and my poor dead father's name, as I said, was Ron Jeremy Dilldoe.

I hope your mother gets through her heart sorgure okay. Is your family from West Africa? That is such a nice country. I have always wanted to visit there on a safari and pick monkeys off the trees. Are there many monkeys in the trees where your family lives?

- Imma Dilldoe

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 12/6/2006 8:33:35 PM >

(in reply to sexyrabbyt)

RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer - 12/6/2006 11:46:10 AM

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I'm so jealous. I wish I had such a wonderful admirer!

The USD 5000-00 would be money well spent, if only to get this much entertainment, if he ever stood a chance of getting it, that is.

Cant you introduce your sister, Ironica to him too?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer - 12/6/2006 1:40:53 PM

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And i logged on this morning to email from him, but damn im nowhere near as funny as najak.

His email to me included asking if i was faithful, had kids etc.

this was my reply to him :
Thanks for writing back. I'm not married, my boyfriend left me for crossdressing carlotta.
I dont work, i have no need too, i'm hesitant to say this, but i feel your honest, my father was one of the inventors of viagra ( diidicusup24ours ) and when he died, a tragic car accident with his mistress the gerbil, i was left with his shares. So i'm quite wealthy. I cheat on my partners all the time as i want to know if they are with me because they love me or if they only want my money.

betty

twistedwillow ( going to have to think of more disgustingly weird things to write to keep up with Najak )

_____________________________

Jesus died to forgive our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? —Jules Feiffer
Don't be fooled by the pretty words and sweet face.. sarcasm is the norm not the exception.

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer - 12/6/2006 1:46:24 PM

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Lady E, if you wanna play with him too, email me on the other side and I'll send you his addy. He's too stupid to leave alone.

Willow - keep up the good work and we'll soon be having some real fun with the lad! Since he mentioned strumming his guitar and singing songs, I am going to ask him to sing a nice romantic song about my poor dead uncle Dick Dilldoe on my phone answering machine. (It's an anonymous k7 number of course). Hilarity will ensue.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer - 12/6/2006 2:15:06 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

so my love if i may ask you when the you uncle, died i know that you miss him so much can you tell me his name so that i can use his name to Write you some poetry

And i love this, your much beloved uncle, ohh yeah, i'm sure imma, just lurrrrrrvvss her very loving dead uncle and misses him heaps.

twistedwillow

_____________________________

Jesus died to forgive our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? —Jules Feiffer
Don't be fooled by the pretty words and sweet face.. sarcasm is the norm not the exception.

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer - 12/6/2006 2:32:44 PM

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Yeah, I can't wait to hear him singing about Dick Dilldoe.

Asking for trophy #1 now:

<deleted>

My sweet little short bus boy, how nice of you to write back. I do enjoy playing with monkeys. In fact that's exactly what I'm doing right now. Isn't it fun?

I am very concerned because even though you say you love me, you never send a picture. I don't even know what you look like! How can I trust you if I have never seen your face. For all I know you could be an Elvis impersonator. You aren't an Elvis impersonator, are you? That would be my worst nightmare.

Do you remember the picture I sent to you of myself holding your name on a paper? I think it would build a lot of trust between us if you did the same thing for me. Please take a nice picture of yourself holding up a sign with my name on it. Then I can believe you are real. I have never even seen you, so how can I give you sweet loving yet?

I want to trust and believe in you, so I look forward to seeing your handsome face in a photo. Don't forget to be holding the sign with my name on it so I know it is really you in the photo.

I want to know all about you. Remember what I asked about the Ron Jeremy Dilldoe Jackhammer? You say you are an engineering manager, so you must know about this big famous tool. Have you ever seen one or used one? My dear departed father would be happy to hear that his big tools are still being used by people all over the world. If you have used this mighty tool on yourself, please tell me all about it.

I am sorry to hear about your mother and I hope she will recover in good health. Do those nice butch nurses in the hospital assault her hoo-hoo-dilly very often with deep medical probing?

- Imma Dilldoe

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 12/6/2006 8:34:00 PM >

(in reply to twistedwillow)

RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer - 12/6/2006 2:48:59 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: twistedwillow

And i logged on this morning to email from him, but damn im nowhere near as funny as najak.

His email to me included asking if i was faithful, had kids etc.

Right, same second letter as I got. Forgot to mention that this is a form email. He's using what they call a script, and it's the same script for everybody. When they go off script the writing gets progressively worse, which is why they don't like to go off script since then they have to try to figure out how to write in English by themselves. LOL

(in reply to twistedwillow)

RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer - 12/6/2006 2:50:20 PM

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From: Arkansas
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So not fair! I want my own Nigerian monkey boy to play with.

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer - 12/6/2006 3:06:10 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: drawntothedark

So not fair! I want my own Nigerian monkey boy to play with.

Play with this one. Let's keep the lad busy. Email me on the side for his info.

Also try http://www.419eater.com and http://www.four1nine.com for endless resources including more lads to play with.

Please note that it is against the general ethics of the scammer-baiting community to be racist in any way. I am not calling this lad a monkey because he is from Nigeria. Most Africans are not stupid scammers who spend their lives in Internet cafes trying to sucker wealthy, lonely women and horny men into lameass romance scams. But this one is. So we're making a monkey out of him.

(in reply to drawntothedark)

RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer - 12/6/2006 3:55:46 PM

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So dude writes back with some incredibly bad "poetry" that is actually a paragraph from the back cover of a bad romance novel with names pasted into it. He'd offered to write poetry about Dick Dilldoe, who I'd mentioned earlier as my "funny uncle" who died in prison of AIDS after touching me too deeply on my hoo-hoo dilly. Nice.

He had more amusing things to say also, but you'll have to log into the scambaiter forums to see his end of the correspondence. Here's my end. I decided to slap him lightly and dangle cash bait to see if it would get me the trophies I'm after:

I am a little suspicious here - how can you be a real Engineering Manager and not know about the Ron Jeremy Dilldoe Jackhammer? Everybody uses them in engineering management. It is huge and throbbing, with angry purple veins and a little red eye, and it stands straight up like a soldier wearing a helmet. What engineer does not know this big famous tool?

Well I hope your mother gets better soon so that you can send me your picture. I would offer to help with the money since I have a lot of money, but I am not sure I can trust you yet since I have never even seen you! Especially since you say you don't know the Ron Jeremy Dilldoe Jackhammer. That is very strange that you don't know that big famous tool deeply and intimately if you are really an engineer. I am sure you have used it sometime and I don't know why you don't want to admit to that.

The poetry you wrote about my uncle Dick Dilldoe was very nice. I think it is very romantic that you can play and sing on your guitar. I write songs too, and I also wrote one about my uncle when he died. Here it is.

Dick Dilldoe, I love Dick Dilldoe
Dick Dilldoe, how I love big Dick.
Dick Dilldoe is so big, he could touch my heart
Dick Dilldoe, we will never part.

In case you did not know, Dick Dilldoe was very big. Huge, even. He worked in construction like my father and he died with his tool in his hand. In fact it was overuse of the Ron Jeremy Dilldoe Jackhammer that killed him. Rectal fissuring is so tragic. *sniff* I am crying now. I was that sad. So I wrote this song about him. Isn't it beautiful?

If you do not have time to take a romantic picture of you holding up my name like I asked, maybe you would let me hear your beautiful voice singing me this song I wrote? You can call and sing it to my phone. My phone number is (free anonymous k7 voicemail here) If I am not home, please sing it to the machine so I can hear it when I get home.

If you could do that and send me a picture of you so I could see your face, I would trust you and believe you really love me. If you can show me that you are real and we have trust, then I would love to visit Africa with you and meet your mother, and help you in any way I can. I have lots of money from my father's invention of the famous Dilldoe Jackhammer, so I can travel anywhere I want.

- Imma Dilldoe

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer - 12/6/2006 4:08:09 PM

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And i got a reply back, telling me he wants me to be faithful because thats the way of the heart ( or some such shit ) and the he loves me yada yada

and my reply:

Thankyou for your reply, i feel the same. tell me, how is your mother? you said she was sick, is she getting better ?

Being faithful will be hard for me, but i know that if you work hard to please me that i may be convinced to stay true.
But i have to tell you one thing, i am very shy, i dont meet many people because i have a problem, it embarrasses me to tell you this, but honesty is a must. I have a condition, its very rare, i am a hermaphrodite. please tell me this is not a problem for you, that your love will over come this small thing.

betty

_____________________________

Jesus died to forgive our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? —Jules Feiffer
Don't be fooled by the pretty words and sweet face.. sarcasm is the norm not the exception.

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer - 12/6/2006 4:29:07 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: twistedwillowI have a condition, its very rare, i am a hermaphrodite. please tell me this is not a problem for you, that your love will over come this small thing.

ROFLMAO

Good show! "overcome this small thing". *snrk*

(in reply to twistedwillow)

RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer - 12/6/2006 5:30:51 PM

ShreveportMaster

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From: Dallas, Tx
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Ah, but it should be a big thing, preferably the thing stuck in his rectum. If you really wanna have some fun here, google the Boston Batwanger, a famous 70's era hermaphrodite porn star, and send him pics telling him you just can't wait to have your jackhammer deeply buried in his manly ass, etc. Hillarity should ensue

_____________________________

"And to sooth the Bosk, there was found a Singing Cowboy. To soothe the Cowboy, a kajira is needed."

Riders of Gor
Book 37, Pg 298 ;-)

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer - 12/6/2006 7:03:16 PM

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Joined: 11/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShreveportMaster

Ah, but it should be a big thing, preferably the thing stuck in his rectum. If you really wanna have some fun here, google the Boston Batwanger, a famous 70's era hermaphrodite porn star, and send him pics telling him you just can't wait to have your jackhammer deeply buried in his manly ass, etc. Hillarity should ensue

lol good suggestion Shreve i'd never even heard of the Boston Batwanger, lol even the name is a hoot. I'll go google him up now.

twistedwillow

_____________________________

Jesus died to forgive our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? —Jules Feiffer
Don't be fooled by the pretty words and sweet face.. sarcasm is the norm not the exception.

(in reply to ShreveportMaster)

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