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RE: i need help - 12/21/2006 4:01:04 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
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Taking the other stance here, perhaps he wants you to stop asking, wheedling, demanding, manipulating him into providing more. Perhaps obedience is what he's looking for and you're NOT going to get the things you want until you stop demanding that they happen.

If you really need some clarification, I'd suggest NOT asking for more time, more this more that. Instead, ask him for an explanation as to what he sees happening, where he sees this going and how he sees it developing. That way, you might just get your questions answered without demanding that he do something more.

And he can make that decision - which is what should be happening anyway if D/s is what you're looking for.

I know if he were my Master, and I begged over and over for something - it'd be the LAST thing on his list for me. But if I let him know - without demand for action on his part - that I was having a difficult time, it'd pretty much be the next thing I received from him.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 12/21/2006 4:06:30 AM >

(in reply to eyesopened)

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RE: i need help - 12/21/2006 10:58:16 AM

desoutter

Posts: 91
Joined: 3/21/2005
Status: offline

hmm...
I have always felt that consistancy is healthy in any relationship...

I mean to say... talk to dom and blah blah blah - (insert appropriate emotional response and plug communication and healthy relationships)... but a Dom who treats a sub like that is a little too wishy washy in my opinion...

As a Dom it may be all he can provide you - but if you desire more... tell him so... If he still cant provide you more... well... you get the picture...
relationships are so mushy to me sometimes... two different people always trying to come to terms with each others needs and such...

I try to keep things simple - tell me what you want - I'll do my best - If it isnt good enough - hit the bricks...
desoutter

_____________________________

When the going gets weird... the weird turn pro.

(in reply to ybnvs)

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RE: i need help - 12/21/2006 3:44:23 PM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
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Oooh, wishy washy isn't exactly how I'd put it...

I get rather tired of service doms who are so in control that they wait around to be asked to do something and then deliver...

hey...sounds kind of like my side of the fence...

but what do I know? *laughing* He made me wait an entire year while I learned the fine art of patience and how to ask for something in such a way that left what he was going to do solely up to him.. It was not a happy time...but I sure did learn.

Oh yea...and he was and is always consistent in his handling of me. If I ask him for something with the expectation that it'll be delivered..I might as well find a hobby for a while. But if I let him know what's bothering me without asking for anything in the process...he generally decides to grant that to me.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 12/21/2006 3:48:34 PM >

(in reply to desoutter)

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RE: i need help - 12/22/2006 2:27:40 AM

Strictly

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Joined: 11/7/2006
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Has the dynamic always been like that or has it slipped? How long have you been together?

(in reply to ybnvs)

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RE: i need help - 12/26/2006 3:46:05 PM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
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Excellent point!

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

i'm using this as a lesson in communication between the sexes:
He stands in front of the refridgerator with the door open and staring straight ahead and hollars out "Where's the mayo?"
you: "In the fridge"
He : (still staring straight ahead) "I don't see it."
you: It's on the second shelf, righ hand side, behind the leftover meatloaf"
He: "Oh, I see it now"

See, just asking Him what's wrong or if everything is okay is just not enough information. Don't expect Him to see into your mind or know your needs when you may have placed them behind the meatloaf. Providing details of how you are feeling and what your expectations are, is important. If you don't feel comfortable giving Him that level of detail into your feelings, then it is probably time to re-think the relationship.