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A slave who has a girlfriend - 12/25/2006 12:43:52 PM   
goddess50138


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/25/2006
Status: offline 		I ask everyone who is interested in being a slave, if they are single and free. I will not accept another womens "goods". I took a slave finally after a long search, and was quite taken in by his willingness to please.. I then recieved the phone call from his girlfriend. Lets just say he wasnt as honest about being single as I had believed.
   Has this happened to others? And how did you deal with the situation?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: A slave who has a girlfriend - 12/25/2006 1:16:33 PM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline 		Sorry to hear this happened to You.  I have not had quite the same situation happen to Me, though I did have to provide some clarification to some subs as to what I mean by "single."  I am seeking someone who not only is not legally married, but is also not involved in any type of romantic relationship with any other Female.  Some did try to pass themselves off as single since they were not legally married, but upon further questioning, the vanilla girlfriend did come up and they were immediately removed from further consideration. 
 
As to how I would handle a sub who did this, if he deliberately and willfully lied to Me, there's no question he would be released on the spot.  I had one lie to Me about something entirely different and he was released immediately.  I would never want a submissive serving Me whom I could not trust.
 
Lady Topaz

(in reply to goddess50138)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: A slave who has a girlfriend - 12/25/2006 1:19:01 PM   
nikaa


Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline 		 Has this happened to others?

I have not had an issue with submissives or slaves with girlfriends persay, but I have had more than a couple who where married. Although the submissive or slave being married or even in a "commited relationship" is not in its self a deal breaker for me. Lying (by ommission or blatently) is.

I will not be the other woman. I will not be someone "dirtly little secret".

If they are willing to lie and deceive someone they have made a legal and perhaps religious committement to what would stop them from doing so with me, their Domme?


 
And how did you deal with the situation?

If they state that their spouse or significant other is aware and simply not interested I will ask them to set up a face-to-face meeting between the 3 of us so that I can make sure they are fully aware and comfortable with it.

If they decline that request it ends there. If they say she can't know because she wouldn't understand (or any other reason) I simply end contact there.


In the end it is about trust. Without trust there is nothing.

< Message edited by nikaa -- 12/25/2006 1:22:29 PM >

_____________________________

Blessed Be,

Phoenix's Nika


The Cherokee legacy is that we are a people who face adversity, survive, adapt, prosper and excel.


Wakan Tankan Nici Un




(in reply to goddess50138)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: A slave who has a girlfriend - 12/25/2006 2:05:05 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Sadly we cannot prevent others from lying -- only they can have a ethical or moral code that prevents that.

I do understand how you feel.

I did have one slave who was married and things fell apart primarily because their primary relationship fell on hard times -- obviously the primary relationship should come first. I, however, have zero desire is being second place.

I have trained a few married men after meeting and talking to their wives. I always kept the wives informed and discussed issues with them. There was zero chance of it ever going beyond my formal training. I guess those couples just thought I had something to teach that they valued.

I just wanted to add that I personally think that a wife should be the one training her husband. In one case the wife wasn't into BDSM and just wanted her husband to try it out safely and she'd checked around and thought I was safe. In the second the wife also wanted knowledge herself and with all their kids she didn't feel she "had time" -- that couple had to work a bit to convince me to train him but it was worthit when I hear from them every six months or so and see how well it is all working out for them.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 12/25/2006 2:11:43 PM >

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to goddess50138)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: A slave who has a girlfriend - 12/25/2006 4:15:31 PM   
jamesthehumanrug


Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline 		my dear goddess,if i may please have your permission to speak quietly and directly to you now ,in a most humble manner ;one to one;goddess,
SHE HATES MY GUTS!!!
and,DON'T BELIEVE A WORD ANYONE SAYS!
i am here waiting on your stairs ;just please : dont let me freeze to death out here is all i am asking
you know me !!!!!!dont you?!
SHE TELLS THAT TO ALL THE TOP GODDESSES
TRUST ME! I AM A SLAVE ,AND, NEVER TOOK OR GOT A SINGLE PENNY, FROM ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!!!
its christmas!!!oh please ;dont you see?! have some mercy goddess please !!(i'm on the floor screaming; tantrum; banging my fists,& feet everywhere;CRYING PLEASE,....GODDESS,!!!  CAUSE SHE'S A LIE A LIE!!!!!!)
........send your photo too please ;lets discuss, but ,DONT LISTEN TO ANYONE ELSE BUT YOUR SLAVE IN THE FUTURE;oh god if it were up to her i'd be dead and burried ;gone; done !finished!!!! ;never to see you again !!!!
SHE'S A LIE ;A FANTASY; SHE WANTS ME TO DIE ALONE,CAUSE YOU MAKE ME WHAT I AM.
thankyou ,for your time; kindness and full considerations on all these most important matters,to me. 
respectfully submitted,
always yours,

quote:

ORIGINAL: goddess50138

I ask everyone who is interested in being a slave, if they are single and free. I will not accept another womens "goods". I took a slave finally after a long search, and was quite taken in by his willingness to please.. I then recieved the phone call from his girlfriend. Lets just say he wasnt as honest about being single as I had believed.
Has this happened to others? And how did you deal with the situation?


< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 12/25/2006 4:23:12 PM >

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to goddess50138)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: A slave who has a girlfriend - 12/25/2006 4:26:59 PM   
nikaa


Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline 		*slaps my forehead*

Am I the only somewhat confused by James' post?

< Message edited by nikaa -- 12/25/2006 4:29:04 PM >

_____________________________

Blessed Be,

Phoenix's Nika


The Cherokee legacy is that we are a people who face adversity, survive, adapt, prosper and excel.


Wakan Tankan Nici Un




(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: A slave who has a girlfriend - 12/25/2006 4:41:42 PM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nikaa

*slaps my forehead*

Am I the only somewhat confused by James' post?


Nope.

(in reply to nikaa)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: A slave who has a girlfriend - 12/25/2006 4:45:14 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I never understand what the heck he is talking about

(in reply to nikaa)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: A slave who has a girlfriend - 12/25/2006 4:45:31 PM   
nikaa


Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz

quote:

ORIGINAL: nikaa

*slaps my forehead*

Am I the only somewhat confused by James' post?


Nope.


*laughs*

Good!

Not that I was confused by his post but that I was not the ONLY one that has not be able to understand his posts.

< Message edited by nikaa -- 12/25/2006 4:47:44 PM >

_____________________________

Blessed Be,

Phoenix's Nika


The Cherokee legacy is that we are a people who face adversity, survive, adapt, prosper and excel.


Wakan Tankan Nici Un




(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: A slave who has a girlfriend - 12/25/2006 4:56:27 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jamesthehumanrug

my dear goddess,if i may please have your permission to speak quietly and directly to you now ,in a most humble manner ;one to one;goddess,
SHE HATES MY GUTS!!!
and,DON'T BELIEVE A WORD ANYONE SAYS!
i am here waiting on your stairs ;just please : dont let me freeze to death out here is all i am asking
you know me !!!!!!dont you?!
SHE TELLS THAT TO ALL THE TOP GODDESSES
TRUST ME! I AM A SLAVE ,AND, NEVER TOOK OR GOT A SINGLE PENNY, FROM ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!!!
its christmas!!!oh please ;dont you see?! have some mercy goddess please !!(i'm on the floor screaming; tantrum; banging my fists,& feet everywhere;CRYING PLEASE,....GODDESS,!!!  CAUSE SHE'S A LIE A LIE!!!!!!)
........send your photo too please ;lets discuss, but ,DONT LISTEN TO ANYONE ELSE BUT YOUR SLAVE IN THE FUTURE;oh god if it were up to her i'd be dead and burried ;gone; done !finished!!!! ;never to see you again !!!!
SHE'S A LIE ;A FANTASY; SHE WANTS ME TO DIE ALONE,CAUSE YOU MAKE ME WHAT I AM.
thankyou ,for your time; kindness and full considerations on all these most important matters,to me. 
respectfully submitted,
always yours,

quote:

ORIGINAL: goddess50138

I ask everyone who is interested in being a slave, if they are single and free. I will not accept another womens "goods". I took a slave finally after a long search, and was quite taken in by his willingness to please.. I then recieved the phone call from his girlfriend. Lets just say he wasnt as honest about being single as I had believed.
Has this happened to others? And how did you deal with the situation?

And this evening's Golden Globe award goes to (rum roll, please)
 
..JAMES THE HUMAN RUG!!!! 

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: A slave who has a girlfriend - 12/25/2006 4:57:09 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		Methinks james has been smokin' dem funny cigarettes.
Again.

TM

_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to nikaa)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: A slave who has a girlfriend - 12/25/2006 5:00:53 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		He is actually much easier to not understand since he got his semi-colonoscopy.

Ron(ne)


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: A slave who has a girlfriend - 12/25/2006 5:05:39 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear goddess50138, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
In talking to the lads, I ask if they have anybody in their lives, to include girl friends.  Since girl friends can be considered in many levels, it is sad to find out that the girl friend has more 'emotional' ties on the lad.  But, I am thankful to find out as soon as possible before I invest any more emotional ties to the lad.
 
Some men do think that girl friends do not count as "S.O." -- however, women see relationships differently then men; so men do see themselves free until they have a wedding band on their finger.  Women see any hint of manhood interest as 'theirs,' especially if they are dating steady.
 
I don't get emotionally invested until they beg a collar from me and have left the girl friends and arm charms totally.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to goddess50138)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: A slave who has a girlfriend - 12/25/2006 5:40:27 PM   
BeautifulRacket


Posts: 70
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Seattle Area
Status: offline 		I don't have a problem with a sub having another relationship as long as the conditions are acceptable and interference with ours minimal, but, like others have said, having open communication with their partner is required and I will not tolerate any kind of deception from my partner. I'll drop anyone who deceives me or shows a lack of integrity/ethics like a hot potato.

(in reply to LadyHugs)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: A slave who has a girlfriend - 12/25/2006 5:56:35 PM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: goddess50138

I ask everyone who is interested in being a slave, if they are single and free. I will not accept another womens "goods". I took a slave finally after a long search, and was quite taken in by his willingness to please.. I then recieved the phone call from his girlfriend. Lets just say he wasnt as honest about being single as I had believed.
  Has this happened to others? And how did you deal with the situation?



From time to time, I go out with vanilla women, and I've run across my share of them that after a couple of dates want to think they have some kind of claim on me or something like that, even when no discussion of that sort has taken place.  To say that few of them out there are at least somewhat neurotic and possessive would be an understatement.  There are periods, where I can't take it anymore and quit dating any vanilla women at all (like now) and other times when I do, just because I want someone as an a companion to go and do some things with that I enjoy. 

Just because a man sometimes has a social life with vanilla women while looking for a Mistress, doesn't mean he's made any kind of commitment to them to become their "steady boy friend" and for what its worth, we can wind up being stalked just as easily as women can.  There are some women I've met that just don't seem to want to listen to the word "no thanks", "I'm not really interested", or all the permutations one can use to try and let someone know that you don't want to continue to date them. 

So just because some woman called and claimed to be a man's girlfriend, doesn't mean its the actual truth.  I'd recommend you give him the opportunity to talk with you and tell you about the situation with her and whether or not she really is his girlfriend and whether or not he's made any commitments to her.  It could be a case where he's simply casually dated her a few times and she took something that was said to mean more than was meant or that he attempted to cut things off and she continued to call.  One doesn't really know until they ask.  It also gives you the opportunity to ask him how he plans to handle the situation.  If he isn't telling the truth, I'd think it would readily show at that time.

- pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to goddess50138)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: A slave who has a girlfriend - 12/25/2006 8:34:04 PM   
draba


Posts: 81
Joined: 2/22/2006
Status: offline 		Well said Pixel!!!!!

(in reply to pixelslave)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: A slave who has a girlfriend - 12/26/2006 1:00:39 AM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		I was owned once by a woman who eventually made me her live-in slave for a few years running. Well, she was a professional dominant, and she kept telling me that she didn't want to stop me from finding a girlfriend and all that, mainly because she was involved herself. I just couldn't ever find it within myself to seek out a girlfriend when she owned me already.

And I was fine with that. I didn't want commitment or anything of that nature from her, but I was committed to her. But she kept telling me over and over that she wanted me to find someone. So, one day I came home from where I was going to college and started talking about a young woman who had taken an interest in my kinky lifestyle and was asking a lot of questions. IMMEDIATELY, my mistress was uncomfortable with this and forbid me to pursue that relationship any further.

I'm sure I could interject a lot of negativity into that situation, but to me it was actually pretty funny. Of all the things I'd done wrong and been punished for, nothing bothered her more than when I went out and did what she wanted me to do.


_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me


http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to goddess50138)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: A slave who has a girlfriend - 12/26/2006 11:58:36 AM   
beltainefaerie


Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		littlesarbonn, it sounds like she was only trying to assuage her guilt over not being as completely devoted to you as you were to her. Clearly, she then just couldn't handle it when you actually acted on her suggestion.

jamesthehumanrug sounds like he IS the forsaken slave with the girlfriend and is dnying her significance, wanting only to serve goddess50138.  That wasn't so hard to understand, unless you all know he is not, or he always sounds this scattered and crazy. I don't know, but that to me seemed like what he was saying.

To the OP, goddess50138, the issue is honesty.  People can have a variety of functioning relatiomnships if everyone is informed, aware, consenting, etc.  If you don't want anyone in any relationship other than with you and you stated that, he needs to abide by that or not serve you.  If he was dishonest, there can't be a relationship.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: A slave who has a girlfriend - 12/26/2006 1:46:10 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam

Methinks james has been smokin' dem funny cigarettes.
Again.


The funny cigarettes make him quiet it's the conversations with the voices in his head that worry me. It's not so much that they are talking to him, it's the talking back and expecting the rest of us to be part of the conversation that's of some concern.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: A slave who has a girlfriend - 12/26/2006 1:51:40 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

So just because some woman called and claimed to be a man's girlfriend, doesn't mean its the actual truth.  I'd recommend you give him the opportunity to talk with you and tell you about the situation with her and whether or not she really is his girlfriend and whether or not he's made any commitments to her.  It could be a case where he's simply casually dated her a few times and she took something that was said to mean more than was meant or that he attempted to cut things off and she continued to call.

For this person to be close enough to get the dommes number to me is too close. Ok fine so she's supposedly an ex that's stalking him and got the number how? Too much drama.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 20
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