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RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/11/2007 4:01:28 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

I think he was just angry because I was more interested in my Lord than him.



YUP... I nailed this one... *G* 

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/11/2007 4:12:25 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Too intelligent?!?!?!? Oh for crying out loud (to quote my grandma)!

Why would ANYone think, let alone say, such a thing?

Of course if that is the nastiest thing they can come up with to say, and if they feel someone needs to be stupid to serve them.......it's not saying much about their own IQ level.


< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 1/11/2007 4:14:47 PM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/11/2007 4:21:37 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Not to get off topic, but have you ever watched a cartoon show called "King of the Hill"?  One of the characters, named boomhower, starred in an episode where he gave away the secret of his sucess with women. 
He hit on ALL of them.  Some rolled their eyes, some laughed, some slapped.  But one in 20 agreed to a date with him.
It's all in the odds.  If you hit on someone by approaching them in a particular manner, you will find a hit sooner or later.
I do think that some people are capable of spotting someone by their actions, but their number is low.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/11/2007 4:38:12 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Too intelligent?!?!?!? Oh for crying out loud (to quote my grandma)!

Why would ANYone think, let alone say, such a thing?

Of course if that is the nastiest thing they can come up with to say, and if they feel someone needs to be stupid to serve them.......it's not saying much about their own IQ level.



LOL

Well to him all slaves were just mindless drones that could not do anything without a direct order....

Needless to say, I did not agree with his opinion and in fact I thought I demonstrated my intelligence most effectively by asking to become my Lord's slave.

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/11/2007 8:33:28 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		The very first time I met my now sub, I wondered how he ever thought he was a Master? His body language, his inability to look into my eyes while speaking, his voice it all screamed submale. I mentioned this over dinner and he just chuckled and said "Switch maybe, sub? Never..."   The first night we were going to have sex I pushed him up against the wall and said "take off your shirt" he breathlessly said "why?" I smiled and said "your not going to need it" he obediently took it off. I moreorless pinned him against the wall and said "Your mine now slut prepare to be ravaged.."  Welp that made him weak in the knees and the rest is history as they say...

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/11/2007 8:48:15 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

"Your mine now slut prepare to be ravaged.." 


YUP.... and she nailed him  *G*

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/12/2007 2:58:30 PM   
Snakecharm


Posts: 6
Joined: 2/27/2006
Status: offline 		Well, for a lot of the vanilla world, and even some of the people that should know better, I think there's something internally that says 'if someone is submissive, either something is wrong with them, or they're too stupid to know better.'

Allow me to admit up front, I don't have much of the way of practical experience. But I'm an intelligent, independent, assertive person. But I know innately that I have no desire to be dominant. Indeed, I crave a Dominant that makes me want to sink willingly to my knees. But I'm also not going to submit to just anyone.

Considering the fact that we are laying our lives and trust in their hands, I don't think it's at all out of line to ask a Dom\me to show they deserve to be called Master.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/12/2007 4:31:28 PM   
delyla


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		I agree with King of Mists....some are just better at the bullshit lines that suck some in... Sometimes you fall for it......but you always learn from your mistakes...well, at least you should. It does get easier to read people on line as time goes by.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/12/2007 4:39:45 PM   
PeggyO


Posts: 129
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Hello everyone,

Here's my take on things.  First of all I think that Knight is right when he suggested that some dominants give the "I sense your submissiveness" line to all the women they meet and rely on statistics for them to be right some of the time.  For submissives who may be new, having someone "see" that in them is probably a turn on.  I've had doms say the same thing to me (one dom said he could sense my submissiveness from my picture online) and I just think they're morons, since they've obviously never seen me in Top mode - and apparently can't even imagine such a thing.

Peopel have different relationship dynamics with different people.  My submissive finds me very dominant.  When I interact with my Teacher I am not dominant at all. 

If dominance or submission were inherent aspects of personality - like being gay or straight - logically one would be dominant or submissive with everyone and in every situation.  Clearly that's not the case.  One tends not to be very dominant when pulled over by a cop for example - not if one is smart.  Most submissives I know are perfectly capable of being in charge in appropriate situations.  So my point really is that dominance or submission is situational, not a constant state of being.

Take care,

Peggy

(in reply to Snakecharm)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/12/2007 4:47:48 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

The very first time I met my now sub, I wondered how he ever thought he was a Master? His body language, his inability to look into my eyes while speaking, his voice it all screamed submale. I mentioned this over dinner and he just chuckled and said "Switch maybe, sub? Never..."   The first night we were going to have sex I pushed him up against the wall and said "take off your shirt" he breathlessly said "why?" I smiled and said "your not going to need it" he obediently took it off. I moreorless pinned him against the wall and said "Your mine now slut prepare to be ravaged.."  Welp that made him weak in the knees and the rest is history as they say...

~Lashra



it's funny how a beautiful, intelligent and agressive redhead can make anyone submissive, or anything else it takes to hold her close for as long as possible

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/12/2007 10:42:44 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeggyO

..., since they've obviously never seen me in Top mode - and apparently can't even imagine such a thing.



mmmmmmm I recall getting a glimpse of you in Top mode....

mmmmmmmm come to think of it.. I recall getting a glimpse of you in Bottom mode...

mmmmmmmm me thinks the significant variation would be more than most could comprehend.

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 1/12/2007 10:45:34 PM >

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to PeggyO)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/12/2007 11:00:22 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Body language, eye contact, mannerisms, speech patterns,
and observing how they interact with others are all clues that
can indicate submissive traits.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to witch693)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/13/2007 5:11:21 AM   
PeggyO


Posts: 129
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

Body language, eye contact, mannerisms, speech patterns,
and observing how they interact with others are all clues that
can indicate submissive traits.


Hello,

All of these are usually situational.  I have observed people who may be completely submissive to their owner exhibit these behaviors when in that situation, only to see them behave completely differently in different situations.

So are dominance and submission "traits" or are they simply adaptive behaviors that people exhibit in certain situations, with some situations being more comfortable to them than others?

Be well,

Peggy

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/13/2007 8:05:15 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeggyO

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

Body language, eye contact, mannerisms, speech patterns,
and observing how they interact with others are all clues that
can indicate submissive traits.


Hello,

All of these are usually situational.  I have observed people who may be completely submissive to their owner exhibit these behaviors when in that situation, only to see them behave completely differently in different situations.

So are dominance and submission "traits" or are they simply adaptive behaviors that people exhibit in certain situations, with some situations being more comfortable to them than others?

Be well,

Peggy


I used to think so too...

Until one day, while looking at the wall of pictures at my mother's house, my Master pointed out something to me. My high school senior picture was on the wall next to my sister's. He just tsked and said "those poor boys at your school."

I didn't have a clue what he was talking about. He said "It's all right there...and I bet they never saw a thing." When asked, he said "Look at your eyes...it's right there in your eyes...you were who you are back then and no one noticed or cared. You didn't even realize it yet. Yep...I'd have noticed you right away"

And that's when I compared the eyes in my senior picture to my sister's eyes in hers. I don't know how to put into words what I saw, but it was there - and I could see it clearly. There was this... softening...um... almost .. pleading look in them - to be understood maybe? I don't know...all I know is that when he pointed it out, I could clearly see what he was seeing and for the most part, have been able to pick it out since then when I see that same look in other women.

And then, I've watched my prediction be proven true with nothing done on my part other than being observant. It's kind of a game I play with myself (and him) when meeting new people. Even if it's all a  bunch of hooey, it seems - so far - to largely hold true.

And behaving differently in different situations is not the same thing as being or not being submissive.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 1/13/2007 8:06:13 AM >

(in reply to PeggyO)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/13/2007 8:30:49 AM   
angaothsi


Posts: 242
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe we roll over on our backs and expose our belly?
No lol, just kidding, thats what my little dog does to my big dog.

_____________________________

He says she is immodest; Blames her amiss; What follows more, she murders with a kiss

(in reply to witch693)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/13/2007 9:35:11 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeggyO


All of these are usually situational.  I have observed people who may be completely submissive to their owner exhibit these behaviors when in that situation, only to see them behave completely differently in different situations.

So are dominance and submission "traits" or are they simply adaptive behaviors that people exhibit in certain situations, with some situations being more comfortable to them than others?


I completely agree that in many situations dominance or submission will manifest itself due to the situational circumstances.  However, I also see that our personality tendencies can affect the situations we find ourselves in.

                         Personality

                                |D
                                |
Dom-Dom                |       Dom-Sub
                                |
D----------------------------------------------S    Situational Circumstances (Environment)
                                |
  Sub-Dom                |        Sub-Sub
                                |
                                S

In our D/s relationships... generally speaking a person is Dominant personality and Dominant in the Situation and the other is Submissive personality and Submissive in the situation.  However, many cases a person will find themselves in many situations that takes them out of their general box they find themselves in their intimate relationships.  A D-Type person meeting a D-Type person in various situation will affect where they will be on the continum.  Be it  Employer-Employee... Officier-Speeder.   Not to forget that in many sitations.. S-type personality will find themselves in D-type situations.  More than a few S-types personalities (like my kyra) are managers of departments or other like responsibilities and must take on D-type situation responsibilities and exercise those authoritites over others... even they are D-type personalities.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to PeggyO)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/13/2007 5:33:42 PM   
losttreasure


Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Too intelligent?!?!?!? Oh for crying out loud (to quote my grandma)!

Why would ANYone think, let alone say, such a thing?

Of course if that is the nastiest thing they can come up with to say, and if they feel someone needs to be stupid to serve them.......it's not saying much about their own IQ level.



*laughs*  I've heard that particular line more than once.  What it says to me is that they are looking for someone who will fall for their bull. 

Sorry, that's not me.  Makes me ever so grateful to have met someone who appreciates intelligence in a submissive. 


(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/14/2007 12:22:32 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
More than a few S-types personalities (like my kyra) are managers of departments or other like responsibilities and must take on D-type situation responsibilities and exercise those authoritites over others... even they are D-type personalities.

What about D&S types :)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/15/2007 10:46:36 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

The very first time I met my now sub, I wondered how he ever thought he was a Master? His body language, his inability to look into my eyes while speaking, his voice it all screamed submale. I mentioned this over dinner and he just chuckled and said "Switch maybe, sub? Never..."   The first night we were going to have sex I pushed him up against the wall and said "take off your shirt" he breathlessly said "why?" I smiled and said "your not going to need it" he obediently took it off. I moreorless pinned him against the wall and said "Your mine now slut prepare to be ravaged.."  Welp that made him weak in the knees and the rest is history as they say...

~Lashra



That was pretty hot!

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/18/2007 12:32:25 AM   
emdoub


Posts: 223
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: Minnenipples, Minnesnowta
Status: offline 		~~ Fast Reply ~~

It's body language, phrasing, posture, demeanor, a dozen other things - but they say "this is a submissive".  I can't find the words to make it clearer than that.

I worked a High School today.  Two of the faculty are subs, one is a dom but doesn't realize it yet.  Of the student body, about 20% show signs of dom or sub, and 1 actually shows signs of some clue about this - a malesub.

Every other primate race shows, and uses, dominance and submission in their social patterns.  Most mammillian, and most animal species, do.  It'd be gawdawfully amazing if we didn't.

There's no checklist, no telltale signs that, alone, indicate anything surely.  It's a vibe as much as anything.  But it *is* there.

Midnight Writer
You can see an awful lot just by observing.


_____________________________

Benevolent Dictator of TIES - Tremendously Intense Erotic Situations. If you're local to Mpls-St.Paul, MN, you may want to check us out. The web site is at http://www.ties-bdsm.org and the Munches are monthly.

(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 40
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